homosexuality?

Question

how can a homosexual person come out and tell his parents

Answer 1

"Mum, Dad ... I just wanted to tell you that I'm gay."

Choose a moment when they are both relaxed, and so more likely to listen to you. Choose a time when you have time to talk, rather than just throwing it into the conversation and going out. They may have already guessed (mine certainly had), but you can help by dropping hints beforehand.

Bad times to do it would include: a family function with all the relatives there; in the middle of an argument; just when they are sitting down to a movie they have both been looking forward to watching; while either of them is driving.

Think about what you want to say, and say it. Be ready to confirm that, yes, it is something you have thought about very carefullu, and, yes, you really are sure. Set a reasonable time limit on how long you will talk about it before going away (on a positive note! No storming out in a huff) and letting them discuss it together before getting together again.

Be ready for any and all reactions - you may be surprised by their ready acceptence. However, it may be a big shock to them (however young you are, your mother has already been thinking about grand-children!). If they react do badly ... calmly leave the room - don't get into a screaming fight about it. Only come back when things have calmed down, and you can all discuss it maturely.

You know your parents ... only you will be able to judge the moment.

Good luck.
.

Answer 2

What an interesting question. Can I ask one back? Why have you put such a question into Religion and Spirituality? Does this mean that you have a religious issue concerning your sexual origin?

If you do and your religion is one that frowns (for want of a stronger word) on same sex relationships (like you are really hurting anyone) you could be in for some trouble. I feel that the main thing to try and remember is that you are your parents son or daughter, and that will never change. If your parents love you for who you are then there will be no problem. However if your parents love you for different reasons, say that you have followed their religion, then you may have a problem. If upon learning of your sexuality, your parents disown you then you must seek support form many of the groups associated with this area. I know that there are organisations here in Australia, hopefully there are some where you are from.

It is always important to remember that a persons sexual orientation does not determine weather they are a good or bad person, their personality does. I am hetro but have many gay friends. There again I am atheist and have a lot of religious friends as well. Should your parents or anyone judge you because of your sexual origins or religious beliefs, rather than judge you on who you are, then just cut them from your life.

Answer 3

It's called integrity.

If you know that what you are doing is right, it's more important to tell the truth and stand for what you know is right than to get the acceptance and agreement of those near you. It's worth the price you'll pay.

However, if you are asking either:
1) How to tell them without them getting upset (they have no reason not to be upset as any child who becomes a homosexual affects not just themselves but their entire family as well as the family line, ancestors and descendents);
2) How to gain the integrity to tell them (must be learned while young. Based on your answers to various people, I doubt you've learned it in time);

then you are out of luck. I can't help with either of the latter options.

Either it is worth the pain or it is not.
Not being homosexual (you aren't doing the group any favors by the admission, as your answering posts are rude and fairly juvenile) I can't really help you further. As a group they have a lower crime rate in almost every area and have a higher work-ethic. They may have further advice.

I have two gay friends back where my wife and I used to live, but it really isn't worth contacting them until I see you've made an effort to be more polite to your fellow Yahoo! Answers posters.

Answer 4

Homosexuality is not a sin it is a normal human variation... just like height or IQ varies so does sexual orientation.

Bible scripture is not at all clear on this matter in it's original language or direct translations and has nothing to say about gay relationships at all...despite the efforts of anti gay bigots to translate and interpret obscure text into a simplified mirror of their own prejudices.

I told my parents but they could never accept I was gay, I had a relationship with a girl for 4-5 years and they continued to think that I turned gay because we broke up...no amount of talking with them would change their belief.

My father was deeply homophobic till he died, he was abused as a boy by a pederast and did not distinguish between a homosexual and a pederast. If we all thought like him then seeing as by far the majority of pederastic abuse is heterosexual then we would think all heterosexuals were pederasts...it's just wrong thinking.

Answer 5

Before you do that.
Ask yourself-"who told me I was homosexual"? "Why do I believe that"? "Could I be wrong"?
If you are completely hoodwinked here and are really not homosexual, but just confused-if you tell your parents, it will destroy them. If you find out later that you were terribly mistaken-you can not fix it then. Yes, you can turn yourself around, but the lives you will have destroyed will be unredeemable.
I would think about this long and hard. Many, many people finally figure out later that they were just really confused about this very thing. The problem is that the damage done can not be repaired. My advice to you is to 'sit down' and 'keep your mouth shut' until you can talk to some one who can help you. There is "so much" more to this than your feelings.

Answer 6

This doesn't exactly belong in the Religion category... But since it is in this category, I feel obligated to point out that homosexuality is a sin. 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 & Leviticus 18:22 is where that is mentioned in the Bible, if you need proof.

Now, to answer your question... There is no easy way to tell them, so just come right out and do it. You need to make sure they aren't already upset or stressed out about anything else, so this is the only thing on their plate for them to digest when you tell them. Sit them both down and just say, "I know you guys probably won't agree with what I'm about to tell you, but I feel that you have a right to know. I'm homosexual." After that, it's up to them where the conversation goes, and nothing you can say or do will change how they feel.

Answer 7

whenever i have something difficult to tell someone i usually write them a letter. it sounds like the cowards way out but i either get really emotional and start crying through my words or i start stuttering. its just easier for me. it gives you time to think about what you want to say, how you want to say it and you can reword it if necessary. if there is a parent that you are more comfortable talking to, you can always start there then have them help you when you decide to talk to them together.

Answer 8

Very slowly and precise. Just say that that is how you feel and there is not mach that they will say that will change your mind.

Answer 9

I never announced to my parents that I was heterosexual, and I never introduced them to some of my girlfriends either, so is it all really necessary?

Answer 10

say mom, dad, how does it feel to have a queer son and to know that now the whole family has to live with it and be ashamed of it