I'm confused about Christianity: Atheists and Christians, please enlighten me on this matter?

Question

Ok, so let me get this straight:
Christianity is the belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree?

*edit:
Compared to Scientology, this seems rather tame if you ask me.

to Magpie:
I'm not making fun of them. I'm stating my observations after reading the Bible, and asking you to clarify this observation.

Answer 1

DUDE or DUDETTE, It's obviously Pure Fiction. I am glad that others can see it as well.

Answer 2

LMAO...

Please, don't forget about all the other good stuff that people believe in, if they believe everything contained in the Bible is The Absolute Truth. Just a few:
- Noah was directed to build a big enough boat to contain two of every species. As evolution is a myth, this includes every species currently inhabiting the earth, plus those that have since died out. More than a few had to be teleported there from other continents. Musta been a really big boat, with some pretty sophisticated heating/cooling/humidification/dehumidification systems to be able to support everything from penguins to tropical monkeys.
- Moses, as we know, parted the Red Sea and then proceeded to stroll across with almost half a million in tow. Ever try to walk across a bare sea bed?
- It was unremarkable for a man to live for the better part of a millenium.
- After he slew his brother Abel, God cursed Cain and all of his ancestors by turning his skin black- forever marking them as inferior, and demanding that they remain separate lest they taint the other races. Apparently, God changed his mind somewhere along the way.
-When Jesus wasn't creating food from thin air, he was bringing people back to life and curing the terminally ill. Including the beloved male "companion" to a Roman warrior. This would seem the perfect opportunity for Jesus to share his views on the evils of homosexuality, yet I don't recall any such sermons.

Answer 3

Stay hungry for knowledge young one! I watch people defend their version of truth all the time and I wonder why they are so afraid of being wrong. Fear makes people do crazy things! If you think about it, we are all equally deserving of bliss no matter WHAT religion we sing. Freedom from fear is the true goal as I see it. Then you can REALLY enjoy some fun here on the planet!
Check out The Urantia Book or A Brief History Of Time or A Course In Miracles or Journeys Out Of The Body. Just a few of my favorite books. Teach yourself to question everything!

Answer 4

Cricket answered you well.

You have Islamists and Christians and Jewis over there in that part of the world that know the story you are talkng about. And to them and to me too this story not to be taken lightly. For it is the truth. Not your version but the story of humanity as a whole. And about a loving God who had a plan to share his love to the world. Plus there ihistory that starts back to the beginning of man. Actually where Iraq is now. And Israel is where Jesus Christ started his church and where his followers started from. There is too much history there and around the world that proves the story you perverted with your symbols; is actually the truth.

If you want to know the truth read the Bible for yourself. And don't take anyone else's word for it. Even mine.

Answer 5

I can see by your answer you do not understand Christianity. You need to explore it more for yourself. I will try to answer your questions.
1.) God is the Father of Jesus
2.) The thing about eating His flesh...it's symbolic. When we take communion, we are doing it to honor Him and to remember all He has done for us.
3.) You don't telepathically tell Him you accept Him as your master. The bible states you confess with your mouth. So you do say it out loud. Also, there is much, much, much more to it then simply saying, Okay, Jesus is my master, now I'm going to heaven. That answer could take an entire book.
4.) He doesn't remove an evil force from us. Humans have a sin nature. He simply forgives us from our sins.
5.) The woman was conviced by Satan to disobey what God had commanded them to do. It wasn't so much that she ate from the tree, it was that God had asked them not to and she did it anyway. Just like if your parents ask you not to do something and you do it anyway.
So these answers just barely scratch the surface. There is much more. I encourage you to explore Christianity. You may be suprised at what you find.
PS.Jesus isn't a Jewish Zombie.

Answer 6

Well I am not one to ask why peeps dont believe I believe the Bible and in the God of the Bible. Reasons I know that Evolution is not possible and there is no evidence that proves it. The Bible has been proved true by many Archaeological digs on many accounts. It gives a logical account of why we exist and plant life and other life forms. It gives reason for men and women differences. It explains why we have certain laws and morals. It explains the human condition. And the prophecies in it are particular and many have come to pass just as they are given. No other book explains these things and no other book is true on things that I know to be true. Also I know God exists because He is the one that changed my life from Atheist to Preacher. Hope this answers your question. If you wish to ask me about anything in my answer feel free to email me I answer all emails usually within a day or two.

Answer 7

Not quite, but you're fairly close.

Christianity is the belief that a man called Jesus was 100% man, and 100% God; that God divided Himself and sent part of Himself to Earth to manifest in human form. Communion has little to do with actually being a Christian; it's only a symbol, like baptism.

Jesus doesn't "remove" the evil force in a person's soul. He simply wipes the slate clean.

And the sinful nature was only CAUSED by Adam and Eve's disobedience. It had little to do with the fruit, in truth. And I don't believe it was actually "a" snake. It was THE snake. It might not have even actually been a snake at all. That might be a metaphor. Or it might not. I have some issues with that whole story.

The whole thing is, with Jesus's resurrection, it has NOT been proven wrong by history or archaeology. If anything, history and archaeology leave no other explanation.

Answer 8

It beats me too to understand the "symbolism" behind eating someone's flesh and blood.
I just don't get it. It's a symbol of what??? That we remember him? Excuse me, but why it has to be in this weird way???

So - sorry - I'd be unable to clarify this issue. The "symbolism" is too deep in that book.

Answer 9

You are talking about the organized religion version of "churchanity", not biblical Christianity. They are as different as light and darkness.

It's really very simple. God loves you and there's not a darn thing you can do about. All creation will be reconciled to God in His good time. Meanwhile, mankind just drifts along like a feather in the wind. True Christianity requires faith... and LOTS of it. You can believe in fables, or you can seek God with your whole heart and you will eventually find the truth.

It's a glorious journey!

Answer 10

I think you are missing the point.

Much of what is written in the bible is hogwash. Much of what you are told in church is malarky. But the basic tennets of religion are there.

People beleive because they want to have something to put their faith in. They want a community of other beleivers to make themselves feel more secure in that faith. Religion is based on the unknown. If we knew, it would be science. People want to beleive because they are scared of what they don't know. It doesn't matter what they beleive in, but it seems faith and religion is an integral part of human existence.

For what it's worth, you've summarized the faith to it's simplest turns. What you've left out is all the life lessons, metaphor and stories that come along with it. Underneath it all however we need to remember that the Bible was written by man, and therefore is filled with errors, ommisions and just plain lies.

Answer 11

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up, and Scientology does seem rather tame in comparison.

This quote sure is floating around a lot lately.