When my boyfriend and I have sex he often gets kind of soft and really out of breath while we are doing it. So then I proceed to get on top and he just gets almost flaccid to the point where we just cant even do it anymore. Then he gets on top and starts to get hard again. Why can't he just stay hard until he cums? Why does he get even softer when I get on top? I feel like sex lately is just a race for him to *** before he gets soft and too exhausted to go on. He is only 23 and in pretty good physical shape, doesnt smoke and rarely drinks. What is going on?
2007-06-05 23:59:22 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Men's Health
one time i tried to confront him about how he got super tired during sex and he got really self conscious and kind of mad that I would suggest that he has a problem.
2007-06-06 00:13:55 · update #1
It sound more a psychological problem than a physical problem. If he was 63, you might expect to have problems in that department, but not at 23. Suggest that it may be wise to talk to a doctor or counselor about it, and see what they recommend. If it is psychological, then all he may need is to talk through some strategies to combat the problem.
PS. First step is admitting there is a problem, which from your update, it seems that he is not willing to do. It means that you will need to so some research yourself (on the internet) and experiment with different techniques, more foreplay, etc.
It sounds like he tends to perform better when he has control, so you may need to let him have more control. Also, try to slow the process down a bit so he can last longer. Try not to put pressure on him, or it may make the problem worse.. Praise and compliment him where you can. Experiment a bit and take note of strategies that work.
.Good luck
2007-06-06 00:09:25 · answer #1 · answered by Michael T 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-22 06:59:55 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like performance anxiety to me. He keeps trying and trying and trying to be and do what YOU want - no wonder he's getting so exhausted - mentally and physically. No wonder he shrinks when you get on top. Do YOU have a problem with being too overbearing, too judgemental, too controlling. Does he feel like your expectations of him are just that: expectations of HIM? Did you ever try saying something like, "Don't worry about getting hard, honey, just enjoy yourself and what 'I' can do for 'you' - it doesn't matter if you get hard or not, just relax and enjoy." If you really, really mean it, he will eventually ease up & "come" around. But I have a feeling it's more of a relationship problem than a physical problem. So either HE has some MAJOR PHYSICAL problem, which I doubt at the age of only 23, or YOU have a MAJOR CONTROLLING problem that YOU need to look at. True love making does NOT have to involve an erection. True love making involves "TRUE LOVE". When you finally realize this, things may start to improve.
2007-06-06 14:29:41 · answer #3 · answered by Gonetoday 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has this been going on the whole time? How long have you been seeing each other? Are there problems in the relationship outside of this? Does he have a lot going on with work, school, whatever?
Ask him what is going on...is he concerned? He may want to go to his physician to rule out a physical problem. 23 is awfully young for this, even if the above problems are happening.
2007-06-06 00:05:12 · answer #4 · answered by Barbara 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, usually male problems are "mental problems"... he don't fell to much confortable, and his erection falls...
maybe he don't like to be under u: may he need to be the ruler and he need to be the master of the game...
i think he should try to relax, and that should not be a race... maybe he fell uncorfortable becouse he WANT to make things nice for u, and now he think that hurring should help that...
try with more foreplays, and to make it more a sexy game, not a race... if the problem continue... and u are sure he is attracted by u, u may beed to contact an expert...
2007-06-06 00:19:04 · answer #5 · answered by horta792002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is obviously not in as good physical condition as you think. He should not be getting completely exhausted. He needs a conditioning program. One benefit of that is it may help in the erection department.
2007-06-06 00:49:42 · answer #6 · answered by Solo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-06-27 00:55:51 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to grow up (no pun intended) and go see a doctor. It sounds like his testosterone is low.
2007-06-06 01:13:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to give more stimulation, like talk really dirty, play and stimulate him more, you get the picture
2007-06-06 01:06:52 · answer #9 · answered by pa625 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe its stress he shud see his doctor to rule out anything else
2007-06-06 00:03:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋