oh my sweat lovely girl , you are the blood that feeds my heart , the air that freshs my soul,you are the beautiful hope that pushs me to reach the limit , and gives me strenght when ever i feel weakness , your smile touchs unknown thing in my depth , makes me strangely happy,you are that shining place that i ran to when i feel sadness , when i want to cry, your eyes are a deep ocean that one dives in there secrets ,god bless you,how do you give me hope ? and how do you make me smile?
i smell you in every flower , i see you in every women , in the rainbow in the early morning , dont leave me and keep me broken , smile so that every thing could smile.
the dream is the first light in the morning , the first foot on the road , our future is waiting for us.
this my poem and i hope you like it.
2007-06-05 21:25:33 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
i write poems to vent and i must say u have serious skill. your metaphors and similies are incredible. Continue writing, u have a serious skill
2007-06-05 21:32:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no words to describe your poem's beauty. it can be compared to the songs sung by unknown birds and to the coolness of full moon light . my mind wandered in the lands of dreams.
2007-06-05 21:32:27 · answer #2 · answered by geyamala 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cool..
except the first line says "sweat lovely girl"??
did you mean sweet??
yeah..it's great..who's it for?
2007-06-05 21:30:25 · answer #3 · answered by cutting_edge 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good, generally: intense enough and appealing: but, a little editing is required here and there.... for eg., "......see you in every women...." it should be "....woman...." ! keep writing, you have potential, what it takes to emerge a poet!
2007-06-05 21:31:23 · answer #4 · answered by swanjarvi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a love letter to me
2007-06-05 21:30:33 · answer #5 · answered by M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should try making the line lengths more regular so they flow. but otherwise quite good. but i dont kmow much about poems.
2007-06-05 21:29:14 · answer #6 · answered by Smumph45 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no lies,
thats amazing
i think any girl would be thrilled to hear that
2007-06-05 21:30:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
great
2007-06-05 21:28:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋