Tomarrow I have an appt. @ Planned Parenthood for an abortion.?

Question

I guess I need to vent a little. Or just need some assuring feedback. Please do not respond with sarcastic remarks I am an open person. I alredy have 5 kids and my youngest is 7 months. This was a shock for both of us because we were preventing this from happening again. I guess that's why i'm having a hard time with this choice i'm making. I have considered adoption but on the other hand I can't see my self handing over my child. I feel very lost right now. I love the children I have and don't feel the need for anymore. I've always been against the idea of abortion and have made remarks againt it. I am torn into pieces. I don't want this this guilt to haunt me but I can't handle another baby right now. Does anyone know what i'm feeling?

Answer 1

This might sound rude to some but i am against abortions but adoption would be a good thing for you to know that the child would be going to a home, to someone who wants a baby but cant have the baby because of medical reasons or just have been trying but havent succeeded and being able to adopt a child and have it as there own is the best thing that could happen to someone. i wish you all the luck no matter what the decision good luck and God bless.

Answer 2

I know what you're feeling, and I never had an abortion. I had the baby, and she was adopted. I was handed a blank check from my boyfreind for an abortion as he walked away. Life does go on, I am now married, and have one daughter and a son on the way. Our daughter was unplanned. We decided not to have children, and I had an IUD. Plans change. Abortion is never right, and adoption is always an option. My daughter means the world to me. Please, if you don't want any more children, or can't handle any more, let someone else raise the baby. Don't allow others to tell you, or don't tell yourself, that this baby can't have a happy home. The baby I had is in a very happy, stable, and loving home. I really do understand that you were "trying" to prevent this from happening, but it still did happen, and the baby is there. That's the fact. But it does not mean the baby deserves to die. I thoroughly believe the baby is here for a reason, as I believed that when I found out I was pregnant. I understand that you aren't sure if you can give the baby up for adoption, it's not an easy choice. But neither is killing the baby. The guilt would haunt you, as it should. Please, don't go tomorrow. I think you know in your heart it's not right, and it won't get any more right if you have an abortion. I'll pray for you tonight.

Answer 3

Kinda.. but not really. I am a single mom of a 7 year old and he has never wanted to see her, so I never get a break. I also don't get child support anymore. I use protection when I have sex. But alas.. some got through while I was rebounding from my boyfriend. I was pregnant and don't know who the dad is. I used protection. I am 31 and responsible.. but that doesn't make me sound like it. Not knowing who the father is, I can't get child support for this baby either. Plus my job only pays $14 an hour, and that is working shifts that are very hard (having my daughter up at 5:30 am on a school day and working weekends when she is finally home... paying a sitter a quater of my wage). So what to do? How much can one person handle. My family is of no use to me. Any help they give comes with strings that make the price to high to accept any help. So I kinda know what it is like to wonder if you can handle any more than you already have on your plate. I guess I can understand to a point. Just don't make a decision that will haunt you forever. I am keeping my baby (he is due in 16 days) and will be doing full time university at home with kids running around and screaming and living off a student loan. But it is a way out of the financial situation, the shift work, wekeends, lack of full time work (even though I loved the job), and the childcare costs and the pain of leaving my kids to go to work and making up for it by sacrificing my social life.

Answer 4

I am not trying to be judgemental at all so I hope you don't take it in that way. But as a woman who has had children already and knows the love that comes with that, I cannot understand how she could abort a later baby.

Based on your question, you are obviously having second thoughts about this on the eve of the procedure. And that's because you're ALREADY a mother... I am sure you couldn't imagine not having any one of your five children there with you to hug and kiss and tuck in at night, so what makes this one any different?

If I were you I would AT THE VERY LEAST reschedule tomorrow's appointment so you can think this through a little more. There is no turning back on something like this and you need time to consider all the consequences. Ask yourself if this really something you could live with? You don't want to make a decision you'll always regret. And is this decision something you would feel comfortable telling your other children once they are grown? How would they feel knowing you had aborted one of their siblings? Would they understand or would they think to themselves, "That could have been me."

I wish you lots of luck...... this is a heartbreaking decision you are faced with. And again, it's hard to talk about this sensitive issue without it sounding like I'm trying to be harsh but I really did not mean for it to come off that way. I just want to help you consider ALL of the questions that may come back to haunt you after all is said and done. Take care...

Answer 5

I'm sorry you have this problem. I have to say I think you should do adoption. Let somebody that can't have a child have it. My sister had 2 and now has a 6 yr old and sh'e told me how much she regrets doing it. The guilt i'm sorry to say won't go away. Then maybe when the child grows up you'll be ready if they want to meet you. But please don't put yourself into a situation you yourself were against. But if you do, take care of yourself, and be sure they know what they're doing. perhaps when yoou have this figured try a tying your tubes so this won't happen again. I say all this with respect. I myself drove a friend to get one and I saw how it affected her directly afterwards. I know 6 kids is a lot but it is possible. my parents had 6, and although we never really had a lot of money there was always plenty of love. And hey Even numbers are good! There was always somebody to talk to. if I didn't have my lil bro I would have been more lonely since The kids usually paired up when they hung out.

Answer 6

You're in a tough position and I don't think anyone can give you the response you're looking for. I completely understand how the thought of going through a pregnancy and then handing the baby over wouldn't make sense to you. At the same time, I would be very worried about how you will feel after the abortion. If you are already afraid of the guilt, and there will be guilt, I'm not sure you're ready to make that decision. Have you considered some counseling? The clinic should have someone available for you to discuss your options with. Once you have the abortion done, you can't undo it. I am not trying to sway your opinion, I'm only suggesting that you talk to someone. My thoughts are with you.

Answer 7

You're feeling overwhelmed,confused,unsure.and probably alittle scared? You don't think you can handle another child but your not so sure that you can abort it, and you can't imagine giving up that baby to someone else. Why am I repeating what you have already said? If you abort it is possible that it could haunt you and you could regret it. With Adoption atleast you could have contact with your child. I know this is not our decision and I couldn't even imagine what you are going through, but I would tell you to have teh baby and raise it. I'm sure it'll be difficult having two young children and several other older ones to care for. Stick to a shecdule as best you can , sleep when teh babies sleep, and just do the best you can. I know you can do it, take a few minutes each day to relax. Maybe when the little ones are taking a nap. The reason I suggested this is becuase from what you write & how you write it, you seem to already love that little baby growing inside of you! I feel that you care and your looking out for yourself and your kids. My advice is keep it!! But no one can make this decision for you. But I strongly suggest keeping it!! For your sake ! I know you love it already!

Answer 8

I recommend against an abortion if you have moral qualms in your heart. You need to feel comfortable that you are doing the best thing for yourself and your family, without worrying about the interests of a hypothetical unwanted child, or about your hypothetical affection for it. Guilt bothers you under any circumstances of abortion, but if you know you did what you had to do for your family, and you could not have handled it without making all your children suffer - you will survive it. Many, many families would not be as happy and secure as they are, if not for legal abortion... including the one I grew up in.

When you are pregnant, your feelings can be really mixed up and decision making is really hard. If you aren't feeling resigned and sure about it being the right thing to do, I suggest you don't do it yet, and talk some more with your husband. PP almost certainly has counselors available who will talk to you in a straightforward, helpful way also - I recommend you ask for a counseling appointment tomorrow instead of the surgical one, if you wake up in the morning still unsure.

Answer 9

No, I have not been through that, but feel for you. I have 3 boys (5, 3, and 2...the youngest are only 1 yr and 2 weeks apart). If you are having doubts, then don't do it. You sound like a person who has a lot of love in her heart, and trust me, there is enough love in there for one more. I know people who have had abortions and they have regretted it every day since, and there will always be that little voice of guilt. Again, if there is room in your heart you will find some way to manage, and it's amazing how things really do work out. It's tough though for the current baby becuase he/she has to grow up a little sooner than expected, but they make it just fine (and he/she and the new one will be unbelievably close friends). And yes, it is alot of work to have two very young ones, but like I said, it will all work out. I look back to when I was prego with my youngest (on 3 forms or birth control when we conceived) and I call him my miracle child (and he is just the most adorable little guy). I don't know what I would do without him, and I'm happy that things worked out the way they did, and yes, I would do it all over again. Yes, a lot of work, but on the other hand, very rewarding! I hope this helps. Good luck to you!

Answer 10

I am really sad that you are in this kind of torn situation. This must be really hard for you. I'm going to try to answer your question the best way I know how. I know that I would not go through with the abortion. This child is so unique & fought hard to be here. Try not to think of yourself but what kind of gift you could be giving to someone who cannot have a child. If you check out this yahoo site & browse around in the family section you will see & hear so many stories of women who so desperatly want a child. You can still be in this childs life & ask the new parents to make sure to tell them about you & why you were not able to keep them. Please think about it more & then you must decide what to do in the end. I hope that I gave you enough to think about & maybe a way to change your mind.