How do i get over my wife cheating and leaving?

Question

I am just stuck in a rut after all this happened. I haven't left the house in a week, im lonely, im stuck in a pool self-pity unable to think of anything else. I just can't look anyone in the eye anymore I feel like everyone that sees me can just tell like it's written on my face or something. Even when I do meet women I don't know what to say or do and it quickly just gets awkward. To make matters worse my neighbor is my wifes best friend and she hangs out over there all the time which just makes it awkward. I am just so lonely. I spend all day with our kids, I take them to work with me, i do everything since she left and it's getting harder and harder to just go on everyday. My mom says to let her or my mother-in-law take them so I can have a break but then when I do I just can't handle them not being here and I end up hurting worse for it. I don't know how much longer i can take this, im overwhlmed, im hurting, and i hate to admit that I often think about suicide. what do i do?

Answer 1

forget the |3itch and slam your c0ck in many hot women...I think that will help.

Answer 2

Suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem. It is also the most selfish thing a human being can do. You are grieving right now. Grief is a pretty weird thing. It takes time to recover from it. Your children need you too.

If you can go to counseling they maybe able to help you work through your feelings. Your children probably need to go to counseling also.

You need God in your life. You won't have to go through this all alone.

The only way to get off the pity pot is to make a gratitude list. Start out with listing the obvious things, like you are still alive and you will survive your divorce, you have your children, you can see and hear and walk.........etc. Get the counseling too you really need it.

Answer 3

I cannot echo this strongly enough....

If you are having suicidal thoughts - SEEK HELP!! Do not let this get any worse. Go! Go now! get help! Many counties have mental health departments, some are open 24 hours, almost always, this is billed on a sliding scale. (The less you make, the less you pay)

If you are like me, you are depressed about the breakup. Probably have some feelings of guilt (If I had only_____ she would have stayed) And like most men, feelings are scary. (Though you have done an EXCELLENT job of inventorying and reporting them, btw!)

In light of the above, my advice is two fold:
1) Allow yourself to greive - your relationship has died. AND THIS SUCKS! Don't be afraid of your feelings, feel them. And also realize that she left you. this means that a) she is a human being, capable, yay, even responsible for making her own choices - over which you have no control. and b) SHE broke the vows 'death we do part' not you.
2) Spend time with friends. If you don't have any, seek out activities and make some there. Join a bowling league, or a park and rec. team of your favorite sport, or shoot pool, or darts. DO SOMETHING!

From biblical times to now, there is one, three step cure for depression: 1) eat (proper amounts of good food, starving and junk food are equally awful at this time) 2) sleep (again, proper amounts at proper times) 3) seek friends. Take up the offer of letting grandparents watch children... but don't sit home while they do, join your whatever league. The part of you that gets uncomfortable around others will be occupied with the task at hand (strikes or whatever) and you will begin interacting with people inadvertently. After you've done that, ask some out for coffee...

And ask your neighbor for the love of god to be a bud and help you through this by not meeting her there. (Which I fancy is a head game on her part, btw - but don't focus there, focus on you and make a plan and get better.)

Her [psych] doctor once asked my ex wife what her plan for depression was.. she answered him as if he were out of his mind. But his point was a good one. Every morning, if you don't get up and open the curtains, and eat, and seek friends (a plan for curing depression) then you ARE planning on being depressed.

Go. Go NOW!

Oh, and smile, it WILL make you feel better.

Answer 4

Please don't take the suicide route because believe me it is a horrible option that will mess up your kids for years to come.As for your wife leaving,it is not your fault.You have absolutely no reason to lower your head in front of anyone.You should walk around with your head held high and be proud of the man you are.It is very hard to raise children in this day and age but your doing it and your doing it alone.Hell..your my hero.The best advice i can give you is don't worry about meeting other women right now because your still reeling from your divorce so of course when you meet them your nervous and it doesn't go well.That's because you felt rejected by your wife and feel like it will happen again so give yourself time and just get to know YOU again and when your up to it ask your mom to babysit on weekends when your ready to go out again.Someone very special is out there for you but for now keep doing what you have been doing,Be a good dad and that will also gratify you and maybe join some groups like parents without partners or baseball with your kids ,hang out with the buddies you lost contact with but please force yourself to go on and be the best you can.You weren't the one who abandoned your family ..she did...so she is the one who should be hanging her head in shame.So dust yourself off and go on because sooner than you think she will only be a memory and you will be happy again and listen if you are really having that many thoughts of suicide then go see a doctor who might help you with antidepressants or something.Your a great guy in my books so get out there and enjoy your life again because it's there.Good luck and be well.

Answer 5

Don't spend all your time at home and please get some help. I've submitted a couple of questions here myself and there are some very thoughtful and intelligent answers out there. Your whole reason for living is the kids not her. Pick up and get on with your life. Realize it's ok to take time out for you sometimes. When you drop off the kids don't go back home.Go do what pleases you. If you have to see a therapist that's fine.There's no shame in admitting you feel bad.

Answer 6

do not think of suicide that would be the worst mistake you could make, the best way and i have been through this is to think of a bad time each time you think of a good one shared, remember what happened and if you did nothing wrong to make her cheat on you then you have a clear conscience on the matter something she does not and for you to have the kids means that she is not a fit mother anyhow so get out and do things that you enjoy doing meet people reach out to others and you will be surprised at how fast things will turn around

Answer 7

If you're thinking of suicide it is time to get to the doctor and get some help before it is too late. Your kids need you so you need to take steps to make sure that you're going to stay around. Take your mom's advise and let her take the kids some time to time and get out there and find some new hobbies, meet some new people, and have some fun. But first take care of your mind, you might need some counseling so you can see that it isn't all your fault that your wife left. And trust me, there are plenty of women out there worth having besides your ex.

Answer 8

I feel so bad for you. all I can say is time will heal your pain. If you can afford it, move so at least your not dealing with your ex wife and best friend on a daily bases. you don't have to move out of town you can move the other side of town or even in the country, fresh air may do you some good. do some actives with the kids volunteer to coach the kids soccer team. do things to keep your mind off things will do you a world of good last but not least met some grown up friends take your mom up on her offer and go out with the boys for a night but be sure not to get drunk, this is not a good time to drink and don't go to places she will show up that way she wont ruin your good time good luck

Answer 9

seek some spiritual help for this, this is not your doing, so stop blaming yourself, u will feel lonely and lost for awhile, but it does get better, but just not at first. this was your wife's choice and has nothing to do wit u, we can't control others or their choices, sometimes other persons choices can and do hurt us, just have faith that this will not last forever, its a grief process and it takes time to get over someone we love, there is pain involved with loosing a loved one, but in life we can expect these kinds of things to happen, as life is not perfect. good luck.

Answer 10

first off if you think about suicide you should really consult a doctor about your feelings....

i dont know first hand what your going through but i know how hard it is do deal with getting cheated on by the one person who is supposed to love you for the rest of your life....the first few months are going to be hard you have spent your life with this person started a family..up until now you lived for her making her happy....now you have to learn to live for yourself and your children....no matter what you can't make her disappear from you life..she is the mother of your children so she is forever going to be in your life...the only way to make your life a little easier is to find it in your heart to forgive her...that will be the hardest thing you may ever have to do in your life.....and remember that even though you forgive her that doesn't mean that your forget what pain she put you through....its all a process you have to deal with..your not just going to wake up one morning and say well i feel great its time to move on...thats only in the movies....you'll see that each day will get easier and sooner or later you will be happy once again....as of right now start focusing on yourself and your children you have to be 100% for them....look at it this way you now have to be the better person.....i dont think you would want your kids to grow up like their mother and break a person's heart just as she broke yours you want them to be better then that......you teach them right from wrong..because now she has no right to say whats right and whats wrong....i hope the best for you..if you ever need to talk feel free to email me....and hey let your mom or in law take over for a little you need time for yorself everyone does....

Answer 11

dont even think of harming yourself, how would your kids cope with that, while it may br hard now you must put your kids first. you will get over her in time and meet someone else that deserves your love and attention, your ex obviously doesnt. i know its easy for me to sit here far away and say these things but i know a bit about what you are feeling, time is the greatest healer, believe me but your kids are the most important things in your life, channel your energy into looking after them and doing right by them