Have you ever lost a best friend due to death? Have you ever been able to make peace with it?

Question

How do you deal with that feeling that hovers knowing your here and they're gone? (I can't get over a lost friend, and it's been a little over a year now)

Will I ever be me again?

Answer 1

This is a really tough question and I could give you a textbook answer (seeing as I took a death and dying class in college for my major, geriatrics and gerontology) but I will tell you from personal experience because I believe that will be the most helpful. I have recently lost two friends: my best guy friend and big brother figure on 9/11/06 and one of my close high school friends on 3/9/07 (he was one of the guys involved in the Bluffton University charter bus accident). It has been tough and still to this day I have not come to terms that they are gone and never coming back. It is hard to see their families and not think that they still aren't around. My friend Brandon who was my big brother figure passed away out of the blue. He was 23 and died of what they believe was an infection. When my mom sat me down and told me I didn't believe her and it didn't hurt and I didn't cry because I couldn't even fathom the idea that he was gone. And as I said earlier, still to this I haven't come to grips with that fact that he is gone.

I do believe though and know from family members that have went through it (my mom lost her best friend of 34 years to a brain tumor) that you do eventually come to terms with it. It took my mom a few months to come to terms with the fact that her best friend was gone but she eventually came to terms with it and moved on with life. She still talks about her and I always know when it is around the time she passed away or around her birthday because my mom always brings her up a great deal around those times.

My advice would be to remember all the great things about your best friend and have something special that reminds you of your friend whether that be a song or a picture and when you feel yourself getting down about your friend, have that avaliable to remeber your friend by.

I will give you a little bit of a textbook answer. There are set steps (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance) that a person goes through when they are grieving and not everyone goes through them at the same pace or time. It may take some people longer than others and everyone grieves differently that is why this is a hard question to answer. I can't give you a yes or no answer but the majority of people eventually move on or should I say accept and get back to their oldselves but you have to remember that a piece of you died along with your friend and you will never replace that. You have to make the best of what you have left. "You find your strengths in your moments of weakness."

Sorry for your loss and I hope this helped. If you need to talk, I am hear to listen.

Gob Bless!

Answer 2

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Answer 3

I am so sorry you had to experience that at your tender age!
Sadness is an honest emotion that we experience in our lifetime and I don't like to say that this sadness will slowly go away. Think of the good times with them, let them live in you, even if only for moments a day or week.
I lost a lot of really close friends over 40 years ago and when I think of them I am still sad, and often wonder why I lived.. it happens in life... sometimes it sucks.

Answer 4

Death is inevitable. Whether it may be of a dear and near friend or parents or any family member. One has to come out of the gloom. Read some books that will give you some insight of life's realities and also keep you occupied. You have to gather strength to overcome the calamity.
Good luck and God bless.

Answer 5

i have never lost a friend but did lose my dad at the age of 17 its been almost 3 years and some nights i still cry myself to sleep good luck trying to but this behind u best wishes

Answer 6

I know I have a friend on the other side in glory and I've never forgot him or his smile. We are graced in this life to know such loving souls. Thank you for reminding me of this. I know you were lucky too hun. Your still in the grieving process and its a journey sweet thing

Answer 7

I celebrate the things we enjoyed together.

I think of her often.

Sometimes when I'm challenged I ask myself what advice she would have offered.

I have a few items that remind me of her and it is a lovely addition to my decor.

That's how I make peace with it.

Answer 8

just think that your best friend isn't really gone, and be at peace knowing that that friend is now watching over you like a guardian angel. worked for me.

Answer 9

yes i have i lost my best friend of 30 years about 3 years ago
and it hard for me still, but as time you will deal with it, but
it will get easier. good luck to you, stay strong.