i am 49, and he's 66. we've been married for 4 years, and he's tried to adjust to a marital situation, but can't. he did not tell me he was impotent before we were married, which has been hell to endure (the "what's wrong with me?" syndrome lasted the 1st 3 years for me)..he finally admitted he's had this problem since in his 20's. don't suggest viagra (he hates sex). i just found out on memorial day that all his war stories, medals, navy seal, wounds and purple heart were all lies. (he was storekeeper, not special forces operative, never even went to vietnam). he's also told ridiculous stories to everyone he knows about his different music recording offers and friendships with movie stars and singers. he told me that he wrote buddy holly's first hit! (now, i know they were all lies). he was diagnosed bipolar 2 months ago and sees a doc.
how wrong would it be if i were to get out of this mess i'm in? am i obligated to live in this forever?
2007-06-05 17:30:04 · 17 answers · asked by diamond heart 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Iv'e got the answer you been waiting for, and you don't have to look anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This man sounds like a your worst nightmare. He's a nursing home candidate, while you"re still full of life, and looking for some excitement. Honey, what the hell were you thinking? It's ok, we all make mistakes! He's got more baggage than a quakers' got oats. If he's impotent, that's his problem. If you had been with him half your life, or had children by him, then it might be a different story. But he has no right to saddle you with this heavy burden, and rob you of the last good years of your youth. You only have one chance, and one lifetime, don't let this man rob you of your joy. You deserve to feel passion, excitement, happiness, freedom, and be carefree with someone that makes you soul feel energy, and elation. This man makes you feel depressed, supressed, repressed, & oppressed. If you stay with him your spirit will die long before you do. He's also an habitual liar. A wanna-be hero, couldn't even do that right either. If he at least was a passionate individual, you could put up with a little white lie, but this guy not only is a deadbeat in bed, he's a total stranger. You don't really know him, do you? A week with this guy could make someone so clinically depressed they'de be ready to kill theirselves, right? This guy has no business with any woman, because he cannot fulfil his part of the bargain in the union of a marriage. If I seem a little abrupt with my answers, it's because I can't believe the audacity of this man to drain any woman of their precious time and energy, and not even give anything in return. This guy is lucky you were suckered into wasting the time you did with him already. Please, kick the old fart to the curb, yesterday. You will be glad you did, & I guarantee you, you will never regret it. Pack your things and get the hell out of dodge while you still can, It won't matter what you have to leave behind. The right man is waiting for you, hurry!!!!
2007-06-05 18:56:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay princess!! None of this is your fault so don't even think that way! You were married under false pretenses and you have every right to back out of this 'farce' with no reprecussions. File for a divorce and reverse the charges to him. Get a moving truck and pack up the house and get the heck out. Putting it in storage and/at your friends or parents house is better then leaving any of it there with his 'crazy' self! You have my blessing and I'm sure that of thousands of other people. Good Luck little sister. You're going to be just fine.
2007-06-05 17:41:49 · answer #2 · answered by happy dream 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're stupid, naive or in denial. I do think you lack insight into the reasons why you are attracted to unhealthy men. From a psychological standpoint, the reasons go back to your childhood and how you were treated by your parents. From a practical standpoint, find a counselor who can help you get to the bottom of these issues, and don't date again until you have a better handle on what's going on inside of you.
2016-04-01 04:55:44 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Considering all that you have told us I would be hard pressed to stay in a marriage like that. In fact due to the fact that he was impotent and didn't disclose that to you prior to marriage you may actually be able to seek an annulment. But you have been married for some time....divorce would probably be easier.
I would not stay in a marriage with a compulsive liar. That kind of life isn't healthy.
2007-06-05 17:54:45 · answer #4 · answered by Poppet 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
first off if he has lied about this think of all the other things that he might have even lied about. what really happened to his previous wives, if he had any. for a man to hate sex i really think there must have been some really bad things to ahve happened to him as a child.
sorry to say but his M.O. sounds like those you hear of the husband who has killed his wife and tries to get away with it. i think to save your own sanity and possibly your life i would get away and divorce him on grounds of fraud.
fraud of who he was was and who he wasnt. he isnt the man that you fell in love with 4 years ago. he is someone you dont know anymore.
2007-06-05 17:36:51 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't have any kids, get out of this relationship.
How many more lies do you have to put up with?
Your still a young woman and lots of life to LIVE.
This Bi-polar stuff is going to run you over like a RollerCoaster. and all your going to do is try hanging on while screaming all the way for him to stop!
Get off the ride now, before it gets wild!
2007-06-05 17:41:19 · answer #6 · answered by iwish40 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not obligated for life. You entered into the marriage with nothing but lies from him. He is NOT the man you thought you were marrying. If you are not happy, get out.
2007-06-05 17:36:21 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First of all the man lie to make his self look good to you and you believe him. doyou love him at all if not it time to have long talk with him and set things right, he should understand why you feel this way.it not your fault the way he is, it is up to you if you want to spend the rest of your life living a lie.
2007-06-05 17:44:04 · answer #8 · answered by Donna L 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol maybe you should tell him how you used to date tony bennett before you two met. OR how about the time you were a dancer in a rap video. Tell him how you were the first to discover stem cells and how you invented peanut butter.
if you want sex, he has to give it to you because you two are married. i guess...ok well he should want to please you because you are married.
2007-06-05 18:17:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would see me a marriage counselor to help me with more understanding. In this situation you know how much you can take.
2007-06-05 17:43:09 · answer #10 · answered by JoJoBa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋