Do you think outward beauty is more important for women than inward beauty?

Question

One of the most deceptive lies the media is spreading to women is that they have to look beautiful in order to be loved. Ladies, I want you to know that you don't need make up and fancy clothes to get people to love you. Sure there are times when it is proper to dress up but beauty can be with you 24 hours seven days a week. When I was a child I would run into my mothers bed and give her hug and I loved her so much..it didn't matter if she was in a night gown, and her hair was messed up or if she didn't have any make up on. It was her inner beauty that was so wonderful because she took care of me and truly loved me. The same with my aunts even though one had been in a car accident it did not matter, she still was a wonderful person and I would always love to give her a hug. A true gentlemn will not be deceived by the media into a false sense of what beauty is, because it is truly from the inside of a person and it will show on the outside. Don't worry about being picture perfect

just love people from your heart and they will see your beauty, especially the children. :)

Answer 1

It's the other way around.

Answer 2

Ruth said, "he sees the music in my soul... "
Wow! What a beautiful statement.
Outer beauty is, obviously, attractive. It's the most obvious thing when you don't know someone and first see them at a distance. In another post I responded to the question of "What do you first notice about someone when you are looking for a potential partner?" with "smiling eyes." Beautiful smiling eyes combines both outer and inner beauty.

But after the first impression way too often I've found that the beautiful woman is shallow as she's relied on her beauty throughout her life. The opposite is also often true; the women with the grandest souls may not be beautiful on the outside but their inside shines so brightly it's blinding (in the most wonderful way).

If you live long enough most of us will no longer be beautiful (on the outside) by current social standards. So both men and women who obsess about physical beauty, in the end, will have to face the loss of their face [bad pun intended] and probably won't be emotionally equipped to handle it with poise. Katherine Hepburn said, "There's no such thing as aging gracefully." I always thought that if she didn't the no one can or will and I think she was an incredibly beautiful woman until the day of her death. The only true and lasting beauty comes from the inside out.

Answer 3

I have to agree with you. Society has always put more emphasis on looking good and it can get really scary. The majority of women I know have never been into beauty scene. But then they don't need to. They look great just the way they are. I have never fussed about my looks because I'm of the belief that if people don't like who I am, no amount of make-up or nice looking clothes is gonna make the difference. Also, the people who are going to judge me by what I wear or how I look are not the kind of people I need or want in my life. I am what I am, but I'm not quite Popeye the sailor man. Yuck, yuck, yuck.

I've been pretty much a tom-boy my whole life. The only time I every fussed about looking good was when I was doing theatre or had a front desk position and even then I did the bare minimum just so I didn't embarrass my fellow thespians or the people I worked with. But most of my jobs have been heavy physical labour or jobs I've chosen where looks don't matter. Oddly enough, when I'm my most grubbiest in covies and work gear is when guys seem to find me attractive. Go figure.

And I've been blessed to have known a couple of men like you in my life who love me for who I am, not what I look like. I think that women, in general, have been sucked in by the media and society just as much as men have. It's sad, to me. I hope there is a lady in your life that appreciates this special trait about you. And thanks, because you just made my day that much better.

Answer 4

WOW Sandstorm I think we're rubbing off on you. Such a wonderful question you ask and the things you have to say about inner beauty are so true. Actually I think that a woman who has inner beauty and confidence shows more outer beauty as well. I know I'm pretty, but my no means a knockout and Im overweight, but my fiance tells me every day how beautiful I am and how amazed he is that he found such a beautiful woman when he thought he never would. When he says that to me I feel like the most beautiful woman in the world because I know he loves me with all his heart. We started out as just email friends so he got to know my personality and characteristics which is what he fell in love with. Too bad all men cant be this way as it would sure help women with self-esteem issues due to the media's perception.

Answer 5

you are a very beautiful person sandy - thank you for bringing up this issue. alot of men are quite the opposite,they seek the trophy,the beautiful christmas package with nothing inside. women these days tend to do the same thing,good looks and money - it's nice to know some people have more soul than that. looks will always be important,what is pleasing to the eye attracts initially. i am a bit obsessive about making sure i am attractive,i feel it is respectful to my fiancee to keep well maintained,and i feel good when i look good. but i would never want to be with someone,or someone be with me,based on the outer alone. at the end of the day,it's the time we spend joking and laughing,loving and sharing - those are the precious memories we will carry always - not how good my rear looked in those jeans,or how my hair was fixed.

god bless.

Answer 6

It's really nice and sweet of you to say that. Sadly though, the majority of men fall for the looks first before they become interested to know more about the girl. Men are visual beings and that's the truth. They're programmed like that and some things just don't ever change.

However i believe that people no matter how ordinary looking they are becomes so beautiful when we see them with our hearts. And that's the way it should be. Inner beauty is something very rare these days, and lucky is the man who will find a girl who makes his life like heaven, and not a living hell.

Answer 7

Sandstorm, are you the same Sandstorm that has always been on here. You are such a wonderful gem! I told you before that I had discovered that about you, myself but you are a man that is great these days. I had better watch myself or I will get a violation. I just want you to know that I appreciate your thoughtfulness. I wish more men felt like you. Unfortunatley, most men don't look beyond the surface. to see the beauty within. The same is true of many woman. They also only look for the "beauty" of the outside of a man. Luckily, I have learned that I am not interested in that anymore and the true "beauty" of a man lies strictly within his heart and soul. God Bless you Dear!

Answer 8

That is so sweet. Your mother was so lucky to have a son like you. Men like you are so hard to find. I feel that a lot of women out there are way too obsessed with how they look on the outside and don't concentrate on their inner beauty. So many woman have eating issues cause they have such bad self-esteem because someone told them they weren't pretty enough. The most beautiful women are those who love themselves for who they are. They don't care what Jane/John Doe or the media says about what they should look like. Women who love themselves find great, everlasting love.

Answer 9

OK bud, you've brought me to tears.... from laughing. Whose permission do you need to live a healthy and happy life? Anyone who says you can't look at, or approach a woman you find attractive is unworthy of respect. You need to consider inner beauty as much, and even more than outer beauty. How will you find inner beauty if you are only looking, and with a guilty conscience to boot, for just doing that? You write as though you think a woman is a thing, or piece of forbidden property. Is this a religious thing? If so, you need to find a new religion. I recommend Atheism or Agnosticism.

Answer 10

Mr. Sanstorm,
That is so sweet what you said about your mother and aunt. I also agree that a person can have outward beauty but It's the inward beauty that really counts. While I take pride in the way I look on the outside It's the way I act on the inside that really matters to me.

Answer 11

Well, in my younger days, I would have said you were full of it, because my exhusband had a rubber neck anytime a goodlooking girl was within 500 miles. I am not bad looking, to say the least, but it wasn't until I left him that I realized that (and he did too, btw, too bad for him). My current husband is very demonstrative, and even though the years and children are taking a toll on my looks, he still looks at me the way he did the day we got together, and when I look at him, I feel the same way. I know that he loves me, because even when I weighed eighty more pounds than I do now, he wouldn't leave me alone....he sees the music in my soul...