my wife claims she can't trust me anymore when she is in the middle of having an affair -?

Question

she says if we are just friends for a bit then we can go back - I love her and don't wish to lose her but I am angry at being made a fool of and being lied to - this is at least the 2nd time

Answer 1

OK, if this is the second time, you can't repeat what you did the first. She sees your flexibility on this and figures you will probably remain an option if the affair thing doesn't work out.

You've got to be as firm as you can. Let her know in no uncertain terms that you will separate and may very well divorce if she goes through with this. Let her know you love her, but that you draw the line at infidelity, especially the second time.

If she goes ahead, ask her to leave. You don't keep someone by being desperate for them. Women want a combination of strength and gentleness. If either is absent a look elsewhere is very often in the cards.

Be healthy yourself and there's more hope for the relationship. Hold her accountable with obvious consequences or you have already lost her.

Answer 2

A lot of people use the "trust" thing to get out of relationships. But also there are those that legitimately don't trust others anymore because they know how easy it is to lie. What's more important to you? What's stronger in your heart, man? Your pride and anger, or your love for her? If it's at least the second time, though, she'll keep doing it.

Answer 3

U need to move. She's already gotten the taste of cheating on u and no matter what it will remain that way. Sorry to break ur heart but I'm just telling u how it is. The reason she can't trust u is b/c she's the one with the guilty conscience. So move on u can find someone better.

Answer 4

I'm very sorry for you. Spouses who cheat are very hard on us emotionally, mentally, and even physically. Unfortunately for you, the best thing for you to do is to trust in yourself. Look within, and find something about yourself that you think others might like. Then leave your wife, and take your newly found self-respect out into the world where you will meet someone who deserves your love. Spouses who cheat do not deserve the people they are cheating on..

Answer 5

Leave her!! She is mentally abusing you. Taking away you self worth. She is making you feel that you don't deserve better then her that way she knows you will always be there no matter what. That is why a lot of people stay they beat you down and then love on you to make you think that it's not always bad.

Answer 6

If she's already done it twice she will continue to cheat on you. Are you really willing to live this way the rest of your life? Sounds like you really need to get out and find yourself a nice woman who will treat you right, there are lots out there looking for a good guy.

Answer 7

If this is the 2nd time she is cheating on you, why are you staying with her? She says she'll come back after she's bored with him; she's just going to cheat on you again and again. What kind of marriage is that? GET OUT of it! If you can't, you need therapy to find out why you can't leave someone who is obviously stepping all over you.

Answer 8

What is it that you love about this woman, her blatant disrespect or her lying and cheating?

As hard as it is, resolve to move forward in your life. Get a lawyer, get out and move on. There are plenty of good woman who would kill to have a man devoted to them. Find one of them and find happiness.

Answer 9

Two times is too many move on and find someone that will love you for whoyou are

Answer 10

probably because she assumes you may go have an affair. The peron who accuses is always doin' somethin' wrong and they turn it around on you as if YOU'RE the one doin' wrong.