i used to play around when i was still single but when i met him, i have stopped and then we got married and now have a 1 year old daughter. now, i am the only one working and supporting our daughter becuaes he does not have a work. it has been like that for almost 2 years. i worked for a call center for a US account and thats why my shift is at night time. sometimes he text me and accuses me of not really working but instead is holed up in a motel with some guy. he does not hesitate throwing accusations at me and it hurts and i am getting tired of it. he says that he only acts that way because he loves me too much. how do earn his trust so we can have a peaceful and easier life?
2007-06-05 16:25:05 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He needs to quit being insecured and stirring trouble for you. Don't know what else to say, but maybe see a counselor. What have you done to betray his trust? Probably nothing. Ask him that. n
2007-06-05 16:34:55 · answer #1 · answered by Nikki 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is trying to control you by making the accusations. It is also a way to deal with the guilt because he does not work so he accuses you of not working. Get some marriage counseling. This control is not love, and it can lead to physical abuse. Why are you working and taking care of a child while he sits at home, probably surfing for porn on the computer? You need to tell him through a counselor to stop this behavior and get a job or forget the marriage. You will have a more peaceful and easier life if he gets a job and has something else to do and think about besides how to drive you crazy when you're trying to work
2007-06-05 16:29:51 · answer #2 · answered by kadel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your husband both seriously need counseling from a marriage counselor. You easily cheat on your husband - and somehow he senses that. You protest that you are accused of cheating when you aren't cheating but as soon as your husband leaves, you willingly allow this 'friend' of his to move in and cheat on your husband with you. Some friend! Some wife! And threesomes? Jeez, talk about giving your husband proof that you can be easily jumping into bed with a guy! What planet are you from that you never learned that 'cheating' has real meaning and it's a marriage - destroyer. I'm telling you that you have a whorish streak but I'm not letting your husband off the hook easily either. What guy uses his wife to live his own porn fantasy by having her screw someone else basically so he gets to watch AND participate? A guy who doesn't respect his wife. And you, you need to have more respect for yourself - sheesh, just count yourself lucky you don't have kids. And prepare to live the life of a divorced woman MULTIPLE times if you don't learn some morals.
2016-05-17 21:28:19 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He hasn't worked in 2years and lets you support the family by working at night and you want to know how you can earn his trust???? Honey, where does he think your paycheck comes from?
He acts that way because he's lazy, immature, paranoid and a loser. Do yourself and your daughter a favor and get rid of him. Next time get involved with a man, not a parasite.
2007-06-05 16:50:02 · answer #4 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's not why he's doing it ............. and you know it. The reason is because he's at home at night alone and eventually create these electrifying thoughts. The problem comes in when you don't do your job to convince him that you're not. If you want peace, then do what it takes to remove the doubt.
It's your job to make him feel secure. If you are just brushing off the accusations because you are really innocent, that may be just the problem. Don't ignore him, don't continue to use the same form of convincing him. "Prove Yourself".
You can't make yourself believe in someone unless they give you probable cause.
2007-06-05 16:39:04 · answer #5 · answered by dadgonewild 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I was married for 18yrs & have now been divorced for 5. It never failed, every time my husb. accused me of cheating, it later came out that he was. Don't fall for it.
However, if he isn't, then he has major insecurity issues. I dated a few guys like that. I couldn't get 5 min alone, even in the house. That is not a good situation.
2007-06-05 21:15:46 · answer #6 · answered by KayKay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't fall for that whole he accuses you because he loves you. This is a technique used on mental abuse victims. It's main goal is to make you feel guilty and alter your behaviour to be more submisive. He obviously has trust issues and doesn't care about helping you out. No one can tell you what to do but I would suggest you seriously consider leaving him. You can obviously take care of you and your child alone, it's time he started taking care of someone wheather it is his family or himself.
2007-06-05 16:48:17 · answer #7 · answered by al l 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is speaking out of a mirror!
What he sees in the mirror is being spoken out loud.
You just happen to be the one to hear it.
HHHmmmmmm........sounds like the shoe is on the other fooot.
Stop being played by him. Not working for two years. C'mon a man loves to work for money. He's playing you all over.
If he asks you to roll over, you probably would.
Call your Dad and take his advise!
2007-06-05 16:44:40 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are honestly not giving him any reason to mistrust you, then maybe look at it from another perspective..I had that problem once in a previous relationship; and found out that he was carrying a guilty conscience about something he had done that he couldn't bring himself to tell me about..Hope thats not the case for you guys..But I would have a heart to heart to let him know how much you love him...
2007-06-05 16:38:05 · answer #9 · answered by mushpuppie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dont need to earn his trust if it wasnt broken to start with.
He needs to get off his butt and get a job or something.
Throw back in his face that your not cheating and since he keeps bringing it up, does he have a dirty concience?
Or if he doesnt like the hours you work u stay home and he can go to work.
If he keeps doin it pack up ur lil' girl and go.
You cant live like that, its crap!
2007-06-05 16:31:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋