I just married n discover that i'm 8 week pregnant today. Worst of all - I have lost my husband in a car accident 1 month ago. we both are orphans and only early twenties. Should I keep the baby or abort? Now I am all alone...
2007-06-05 16:18:00 · 29 answers · asked by TO 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we are married for a year. i am worried tat i might not able to care for the baby when he is born and one of my best friend advice me to abort cos i am still young and unable to care for a baby as i need to work. She said tat i should move on as a single again.
2007-06-05 16:26:59 · update #1
Nobody can make that decision for you. You have to weigh everything up and decide what is best for you. I can only speak from what I think I would do. If it was me, I think I would keep the baby. What a wonderful gift it would be considering you only lost your husband a short time ago. This is his child and you are carrying on his name. The child would be a wonderful memory to your husband. You say you are an orphan and you are all alone. I think if you decide to abort the baby, you would feel even more alone. If you have the baby you are starting off your own family and you will never be alone again.....You will have your own little family It is going to take time till you can get over the tragedy of your husbands death, but there will come a time where you will want to move on with your life.
This is such a terrible time for you and I think you need to talk to a grief counsellor.....you need it. You need to have someone you can talk to. If you are really feeling all alone and you are still confused, please feel free to email me, I will be happy to talk with you. You are not alone....You are carrying a part of your husband inside of you. But like I said, only you can make the decision....its your life, its your body.
Whatever you decide....I wish you well......take care.
2007-06-05 16:27:21 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so, so sorry. What a tragedy. I know I can't possibly understand what you are going through, but I empathize. I would absolutely keep the baby. While you are going through the stages of grief, you will have a focus, a reason for being. She/he will help you get through your sorrow. Think of all the wonderful memories of your husband you can share with her. Think of what your husband would want - I bet if he were still here he would adore the baby already, and wouldn't dream of wanting you to abort it. Follow your heart. She will offer much solice during this lonely time. It will get better. Join a support group. Move in with a friend or relative. Surround yourself with people who love and care for you deeply. Including your baby. I wish you all the best.
2007-06-05 23:27:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you think of aborting. If you lost your husband this baby is all you have left of him. Also you are not alone you will have a baby soon. Then there is two. This baby deserves a chance. What about your family? Do you have friends that could help you through this time? If you need support there are groups that you could join to get support through this difficult time. Things will look better but it will take time. Just give the baby a chance and you will see there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Good Luck
2007-06-05 23:24:44 · answer #3 · answered by smile4u 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You are never alone, there are lots of caring people in this world, your mentors, friends, orphanage's sisters or any social communities that can help you. Do not think you are alone ya.
Sorry about your husband demise, the baby is alife, abortion is not a wise thing to do, just like killing your own ones. Be brave and live with the spirit of a true mother, if you ever fall in love with another man, he will admired your strength in life and take good care of you.
At your present fragile stage, lots of people can take advantage of you, becareful. Give your child a good educated life, he/she will contribute the good to the society.
Nobody is at fault here, it's part of life that we need to struggle thru, but in years to come, you will flash back and smile at what you did today. As you seed, it shall sow.
2007-06-05 23:34:18 · answer #4 · answered by butterfly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's up to you if you want to keep it or not. Your husband died, the baby is what he have left for you. If you love your husband and you want to keep the baby, you should cause you can't bring him back to life. But the baby is you and your husband's creation and you are not alone. You still have the baby. If you're planning to see someone else in the future because you're still young and don't want any burden then you should have the abortion. The baby's life is in your hands, make a wise decision.
2007-06-05 23:26:46 · answer #5 · answered by Vicky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry that you are going through all this but consider this: you may feel even more alone and guilty if you lost the baby.
I have a baby and while I was also not sure whether to keep it or not, I feel that he has brought a lot of joy in my life. More than any man will bring. Do give your baby a chance for life, you may feel that he is a source of comfort and joy for you in the years to come.
2007-06-06 02:36:35 · answer #6 · answered by peaceful 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An abortion now would clear the way for you to get on with your life but would you regret destroying you and your husbands child ?
Consider adoption , you would at least know the child has a good home and it may be possible for you to have some reports on its life .
Having no family on either side makes it very difficult for you.
You need to determine what insurance, social security or welfare benefits that might be available to you.
You are going to need to find a job if you dont have one , or try to get funding to attend a year or two of college .
good luck
2007-06-05 23:37:10 · answer #7 · answered by mark 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am soooo sorry for this loss. Wow, I can't imagine what you must be feeling.
But right now you are probably still grieving and you need to get around some friends who can help you do this.
The baby could be a great. You wont be alone any more and it will be a reminder of a wonderful time with your husband.
Again, I am so sorry for your loss. Hang in there.
God's speed
2007-06-05 23:22:56 · answer #8 · answered by wa8n4her 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry for your loss, my heart goes out to you. You should do what is best for you. I an way it would be nice to have your baby, a way to keep a part of your husband around forever but from what it sounds, you will be bring him/her up by yourself. Think long and hard and don't do anything you may regret as you won't be able to turn back time if you do abort.
Best of luck x
2007-06-05 23:25:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This would be the best thing for you since your dealing with his death. This the the child you two had together. The child with be part of him and if you abort it you will always live with guilt. Once the baby is born and you see you can't care for it ask family to help you or either find he or she a good loving home to a couple who wants a child but can't have one. Believe me when my husband died I was thankful we had children, this was something that still connected us together.
2007-06-05 23:31:45 · answer #10 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋