Abortion...?

Question

I had an abortion about a year ago. I thought it was the right thing to do. But I find myself constantly thinking about it and wondering what it might be like to have the baby now.

Do these feelings ever go away? Or will I feel regret for the rest of my life?

Just to clafiry - I had the abortion because my specialist suggested it would be best for me and the baby due to a high dosage of medication I was taking at the time (and still am)....

Answer 1

The feelings may never go away if you do not deal with them all now. I strongly suggest counseling. You have to forgive yourself. If God can forgive us for anything we should allow that same forgiveness on ourselves.
Try this site for support http://afterabortion.com/
You made the only decision you thought you could at the time and are experiencing regret and guilt which is perfectly normal.
I had an abortion 12 years ago and I often find myself thinking of what my life would be like with a 12 year old. I also see children that are that age and get sad sometimes. I have however learned to forgive myself.
I am not preaching anti abortion but I do think people who have abortions should be made more aware of the emotional after effects. You can email me if you need to talk more about this.

Answer 2

They may not go away because you may always be curious as to what things would have been like if you had the baby instead. I think you should talk to a counsler or therapist or even your doctor. They could probably help.

But really if you think about it, you probably had the abortion for a reason right? Maybe you couldn't afford it? Maybe you were not fit to be a mother? Maybe you were even too young to be a mother. I don't know your reason why you did it but you say you thought it was the right thing to do so obviously you had some sort of reason.

Try not to dwell on it too much. Your decision cannot be changed. When I was younger I would have gotten an abortion in a second if I had ever gotten pregnant. But now that I'm in my 20's I wouldn't. Theres 2 reasons why I do think abortions are right in different situations... 1. Rape. 2. If the world the child is being brought into is not suitable. Like I said.. maybe you couldn't afford it.. I know alot of girls who've had kids and are on welfare and really shouldn't of had them because now those poor kids are going to struggle their whole lives and their mother is always going to be scraping for money to give them even 1 meal a day. Which I don't think is right. Like these kids will never have a decent chance and any kind of education.

I hope you feel better. It was probably the right thing to do at the time. *Hugs*

Answer 3

1st of all...be prepared for angry answers about this in the pregnancy section.

2nd of all...I don't think they'll ever go away. Statistics have proven that women who have abortions regret it and have a very hard time dealing with it. It's a devestating choice to have made, and the "what if's" will most likely always be there. Your baby was a part of YOU, and an abortion doesn't change that. You might need to find a support group or something to help you through this.

Answer 4

I do not know from personal experience, but I am sure as time goes by you will start to feel better about your decision.
Every time you feel bad about it, just remember that it was the right decision for you at that time.
I believe everything happens for a reason, so I am sure there was a great reason why you had an abortion and the day will come when you have a child to love and care for and will no longer think about this.

Answer 5

I'm not a religious person, but I've seen lots of women struggling as you are now that were helped by spiritual counseling. (My friend is one) My best suggestion is find a minister whom you can trust to confide your cares. They know how to deal with such experiences and have had lots of experiences helping women be set free from the haunts of the past (such as this matter)

My concern is that if you ignore spiritual help, depression will overcome you instead of you overcoming it.

Good luck! There's a lot more in life!

Answer 6

memories of painful or traumatic experiences may never go away, but with the right counseling, from the right counselor, the sting of the memories can be eliminated, the perspective on those memories can change. I personally know of quite a few people that that have gone that route (of getting the right counseling) and yes, the sting does go away.

I do hope you find the right one to help you through this.

Answer 7

I dont think its something anyone will ever be sure whether they did the right or wrong thing on. If you're in a bad place in your life, you'll probably blame that on the abortion. If you're in a good place, you'll probably still have regrets, that you could have raised the child. Its time to focus on the present and the future. That you now have choices on.

Answer 8

You should talk to a counsellor about this.
You made a big choice and its natural to wonder what ifs, but at the end of the day you did it, for whatever reason was right at the time and you cant take it back.
I doubt that the feelikngs will ever go away, but they will be easier to deal with as time goes on.
Best of Luck

Answer 9

When I found out I was pregnant with the child Im carrying now, abortion was the 1st thing that popped into my mind. I have 3 other children, & I didnt want to take away from them, & I was afraid I couldnt support another. I decided against it, thank god, i didnt want it haunting me, & i didnt want to regret it. I believe its probably something that will stay with you forever...

Answer 10

An abortion for whatever reason is a difficult decision and you never forget it. You just have to learn to deal with it and know that it was the best thing for you to do at the time.