How do I make the wife leave? I am the OW. She is playing like everything is wonderful.?

Question

I moved here from out of state to be with him. He wanted me to be here instead of there. Once I got here I found out he is still married and has a child with her. He works all the time and so the house is practically hers, so she is not leaving. But how do I make her get rid of him. She has known about me for almost a year. She is still playing "Miss Betty Homemaker" while he and I are seeing each other every day and the kids are also aware of the situation, four kids, two his and two mine. How do I get her to make him move out?

Okay maybe I am an idiot and all seems that way but I have invested a lot into this and do not want to lose time and energy. I am not able to make make myself let him go, ALERT I am a woman. I guess so is she but has has already stated that she does not want him and she is only doing this to piss him off. And of course he is trying to get the house. I am asking because I need an answer not because I am not aware of what it looks like or is from someone on the outside. I am sure a reality check is not what I am looking for at this point.

Answer 1

Sorry Hon! No one here can help you with that. When you are willing to accept the reality of the situation then others can help you. No one else can make you accept reality. Only you can help yourself with this one.

Answer 2

I would hope that you will soon decide that you deserve much better than a man that is obviously playing you like this.. and I wouldn't doubt he is playing his wife as well.

He works all the time? I seriously doubt it.. Can you honestly say that with his wife and now you, the mistress, he isn't cuckolding both of you with a third woman?

And how do you know that if you got her to either leave him or kick him out that he would be any better to you?

Just imagine.. ten years down the road.. you are married to your hunky-roo, and one fine day after you have been 'Betty Homemaker' for several years some young chick shows up and SHE's the other woman, and you are now in the unfortunate place you now have his current wife.

You deserve better and so does his wife! (And the damage that is being done to those children I hate to even imagine.)

Answer 3

So you are looking for a way for the wife to "get rid of him".
If he is so into you, why are you and him waiting for her to kick him out?
Why is he not leaving?
If you were that important to him, would who's house it was really matter? Wouldn't he just cut ties with the woman and come to you?
Look at your question. You don't lay any of the problem on him at all. It's all the wife's fault. She won't "get rid of him".
YOU move from out of state to be there with him, and didn't learn about him still being married until you got there.
The house is practically her's so she is not leaving.
WHAT ABOUT HIM?
If he is so anxious to get away from her to be with you, why didn't HE move out of state to be with you?
If the house is practically her's, why isn't he moving out and letting her have it?
Why didn't he tell you he was still married and had a family until AFTER you moved close to him?
Why is he seeing you every day, but still going home to "Miss Betty Homemaker" afterward?
The wife isn't the problem my dear.
HE IS!!!
You are being used, stop letting that happen and make him answer some hard questions.

Answer 4

This is really funny...You moved to be with a married man....the wife knows about you, and knows that you are seeing each other. Girl, don't you realize that this woman is getting all the information she needs to force him out, pay big child support & alimony and then depending on the state in which you live....she may also be able to sue you for aleination of affection.

So in other words you move to another state to be with a man who is going to be absoutly broke, and will still have to provide heavily for his family....he will have no money left over for you. More than likely you are just a toy for him, because he does not want to be broke, and yes....with the pictures that she probably already has of the 2 of you......teh judge will make sure that he issues the hughest amount of child support, alimony.....and god only knows what will happen to you. Is this man worth you having to give up a large chunck of change to......you would rather give up money that your children need....just so you can be with a man who will not be able to support you or your children. Trust me ..... she will not leave him with a dime extra....she is a smart woman. I am sure that your children will be proud of their mommy...messing around and breaking up a marriage. This always benefits the children....nothing like the embarressment they will have to go through when the crap hits the fan, and their class mates starts talking about what type of mother they have......what a way to show just how much you love those kids.

Answer 5

Well, hate to bust your bubble, but, usually, they won't leave their wife - regardless of how long it's been since they put out, how many nights they've slept in separate rooms, how long their relationship has been over, or how fed up with the other they are, etc It's like this big ego thing for men to be married and be able to get, keep and control another woman on the side. It's like a prize to them or something....lets them know they still have it. I have been there on your end, I'm not bragging, but it happened. I didn't relocate to be closer or anything but yeah, for a while, one believes that he'll do what he says, etc but in the reality, it's just an act.....say what makes you happy/what you want to hear. And while I do understand the effort, and emotions you've put into this, either give him an ultimatum adn uphold it or cut yor losses. You deserve to be happy as well and you cannot possible be happy in this situation.

Answer 6

Wow, this is crazy!! I guess if everyone is okay with it, then...well, whatever!

I can't believe that you are doing this. If he is still married and you are trying to make the wife leave, then what does that say about the situation.

First, may I point out that if he wants you there, then HE needs to get a divorce and get that all settled. Secondly, what makes you think that if he will leave his wife for you, that later on he won't leave you for another woman? Although supposedly everyone knows about it, he is blatantly cheating. I will not be the least bit surprised if he cheats on you!! (Maybe he is already...hmmmm...)

Anyway, as far as I can see, there is no way for you to "make the wife leave". That is his responsibility. If he cannot find a way to do that, then he obviously isn't that much into you if he wants to live with her and be with you.

This sounds like a friggin' mess to me. Sure glad I am not dumb enough to get involved into a situation like that.

Good luck getting that all straightened out...oh yeah, and good luck keeping him for very long after that!!

Answer 7

OMG I really can't believe tha you are stupid enough to ask this question. He is never gonna leave her and she knows that. I really can't think of a good reason that any woman with a shred of self respect would put themselves in the position that you put ypurself in. And to make it worse I can't believe your kids know!!!!!!! For the sake of your kids.....not that you deserve it because you are a homewrecking ho.....I really hope that your kids are very young because if they are over the age of 10 you will have to live with the fact that your kids will resent you for ruining there life. And then they will see you as the wh*%e that you are. Not to mention the fact that his kids probably hate you for trying to wreck their home. Leave find a man of your own. His wife doesn't need to leave you have no rights. You got what you deserve!!!! Women like you give all women a bad name..HO.

Answer 8

seriouly you are really asking this question. Um hello,, if he really wanted to leave her don't you think he would. He is just using you! Maybe the reason she is trying to keep her husband is because oh wait.... DUH he is her husband not yours. And he is sending mixed signals that he still wants to be in the marriage by staying there. Shoot girl you don't know if he is telling her he still loves her and wants to be with her do you? That may be why in the hell she is still trying. she is his wife and i bet you he is playing both of her like there is no tomorrow. Why don't you move back to where ever you came from and let him either leave his wife for real or work things out with her.

Answer 9

If she is ignoring the situation.. in the crude reality... She isn't gonna give you the satisfaction of leaving him soo you can be with him. Plus he is seeing you yet he isn't leaving her either.. So in stead of trying to get rid of her. You should get rid of the married man. Can't you see your being used? Geez... I don't understand women who date married men. If they lied to you about being married. Obviously they aren't that good to begin with. Also if they are doing it to there wife, what makes you so sure he won't do it to you when you both get together...

Re collect your morals and seriously think about what your doing. And what he is doing to you. Being in the middle of a marriage is not good, actually quite disturbing. Sorry but the truth hurts.

Answer 10

Get a life and a man of you own the man isnt going to leave his wife for you if he wanted to he would have its to bad you were foolish enough to pack up your kids and move to wherever for such a ploy.not to mention your shacked up with a married man (im sure your kids will have wonderful things to say about you) stop listening to the bull **** this man is feeding you and get it together dont let other people make life choices for you and your children.you must be a lonely women with low self esteem .to have such little self worth.move on there's better men out there.besides what kind of future will you have with a man who's done this to his wife surely he loved her at one point to. this will only happen to you let her have him and be her problem. hopefully she'll wake up to one day.always remember( WHAT COMES AROUND GOES AROUND)