my boyfriend has anger problems and yells at me everyday?

Question

we fight over the dumbest little things because everytime i try to talk to him and he starts yelling, how can i reduce the fighting without giving up my pride and letting him dominate me

Answer 1

Simple, find another boyfriend who treats you nice, because you cannot change who your with.

Answer 2

Try hiding a camcorder or even just a sound recorder so you can show him how he looks and/or sounds when he yells or throws a tantrum. Part of his issue is that he is unable to see things from your point of view. A camcorder can't dramatize, exaggerate or distort, all it can do is record an event. When you show him the tape of him throwing a big fit over some insignificant little thing he will see how his behaviors look to others, he won't be able to accuse you of stretching the truth and he may be shocked enough to want to address his anger issues.

Promising to not yell at you or to try to be a better parnter to you isn't enough no matter how sincere he is. He needs to develop a plan to change the behavior and for this he will need to seek a source of help and/or knowledge outside himself. Trying to change a behavior or habit by yourself with no guidance and no support is just about impossible.

When I began to seriously work on my own anger issues many years ago I began by going to my local public library and checking out a book by a man called Og Mandino (sorry, can't remember what it was called but any book by Og is a great place to start.) After that I read a book on Buddhism and learned how to meditate. What worked for me maynot work for your boyfriend. However, there are public libraries everywhere and you can bet your bottom they all have at least one book about anger management and a library card is usually either very cheap or free. It's a good place to get started.

As for you, you should never consider giving up your pride or letting someone dominate you. Write down how you feel about his anger and let him know that you deserve better and you will have better, with him or without him. Let him know that you need to see him make a sincere committment to helping himself to not be so angry all the time or you will be forced to make a life without him.

Answer 3

This is not normal and is not how love is suppose to work...

2 choices:

1. Get him help. get counseling for him through school or church for his anger. Tell him it is for your relationship.

2. Leave him my dear. He has anger problems...you said it yourself. This is not the kind of man you want to be your husband or the father of your children. And if you are not in it for the long run you are just wasting your time.

YOU can't reduce the fighting. It is a problem within him. One day you will look back on this and realize how stupid it was...when you are happily with another guy who respects and loves you. NO one should ever yell at you.

Ok. person #1.... violence is not the answer to violence.

Answer 4

The biggest thing here is; why the hell are you still here? You must be a glutant for punishment. You dont have to put up with this guy and his crap. You just need to move on and give up on this dude and find someone who will treat you like a princess and not a shoe. From what youre saying,it sounds like this guy is actually trying to push you out and doesnt have the conjones to tell you outright so hes taking the whimpy way out here. Heed the message and move on. Good luck

Answer 5

This question has nothing to do with marriage & divorce. Nonetheless, I have an answer for you--leave him. That's right, leave him !!! This is no way for him to treat you. If you can't even talk to someone without them yelling at you, what kind of relationship is this ? All domestic deaths once started with yelling, then name calling and cursing, then it advanced to physical violence, and finally ended in death.
This is a dealbreaker, something no woman should ever put up with from their partner. Have some self-respect, even if he doesn't respect you at all.

Answer 6

Well it's obvious that you love him or do enjoy being with him when he's not yelling. I have had this problem with ex-boyfriends and current husband at times. I now tell him "Don't talk to me in that tone" or "Don't talk to me like that". I was amazed at how powerful that was because you're telling someone that you value yourself enough to know that you won't allow someone to disrespect you physically, verbally, or otherwise. After you have told him not to talk to you like that, don't argue back, only speak to him when he is talking in a calmer tone. If he continues to unleash his anger problems on you, you are prone to self-esteem issues and low confidence in yourself. Silent treatment is very effective if done right and not just because you're angry. If he doesn't respond to "tabling" conversations when you both are angry and discussing them later when you've both cooled down or if he refuses to respect your requests if not being verbally abused with his yelling, then I will tell you to RUN like your life depends on it from these person. It is not your fault and you can't wait for him to change if he doesn't want to. Don't give him permission to disrespect you anymore. Battling for dominance is not a good idea for either of you and will break down your communication.

Answer 7

wreck up with him i've got been in my share of risky relationships and you do no longer desire to be there the longer you stick around the extra stable it is going to likely be so you might leave no it is easy to desire to sense down on themselves or their realtionship relationships are meant to thrill you and make you happy, you're each and each there to help one yet another, care, and all that needless to say that's no longer the type of realtionship you have so end this and seek for basically that take it from me once I say ppl not often exchange and if he's horrifying you at the instant and would not care he won't care anymore later, issues will basically worsen get out on an identical time as you could

Answer 8

Find a new boyfriend. My husband has these fits of rage because he has ADHD, but never yelled at me (he yells about many other things, if it weren't so upsetting it would be amusing) and that upsets me a lot anyways. I can't even imagine taking his screaming if it were directed by me. You don't deserve that. He sounds abusive. Tell him to get some therapy and dump his sorry butt.

Answer 9

Threaten to call the cops on him if he lays a finger on you. Then dump him and don't let him know where you've gone to!!

Girl, you DON'T need a sleazebag like that!!! Find someone who will love and revere you, ok!!!! There are plenty of good guys out there who are just too shy and quiet and long for a good woman who will love them!

Dump this jerk right away!!!

Answer 10

You will not win this one...the best way to cure this is to run, not walk, to the nearest exit....kiss him off your list, you do NOT need someone like this in your life, it will only get worse. Find someone new who is not an idiot, for that is what he acts like. He is hell bent on controlling you, not listening to you, having his own way about everything..this does NOT sound like a life I would want to live. NOW, you have options...later, your options will be greatly lessened...not a good idea. Good luck

Answer 11

My first thought is to dump him. Anger problems don't get better unless that person is willing to get counseling to resolve their issues. Anger issues lead to abuse and domination isn't a relationship. Find another boyfriend.