Should be break up or work it out?

Question

My fiance and I have been together 10 years. We are 26 yrs old.Yesturday atwork he waspulled intooffice by his co-workers who told him that they noticed he was hurt and that it is me. We argue a lot. It seems like we have nothing in common anymore. He likes to sit down and play xbox and I don't. I like a clean house and feel like a slave. I come home from work, and clean, and all weekend all i do is clean. I ask him to help, but most of the time i end up doing it cause say the sink is overflowing with dirty dishes. Well, now he is not sure if he is still in love with me and I told him that I would find an apartment for myself and he said that he does not want to give me up at the moment, he wants to think things through. I feel like we can't talk as my dadlives with us during the week.We haveboth pushed e/other away, but we both are still love each other, but don't know what to do. I think we need space, but we are not able to. we are both scared anddon't know what to do. we love e/o

Answer 1

IT SEEM LIKE YOU TWO NEED TO GET AWAY. MAYBE WITH YOUR DAD BEING THERE IT'S PUTTING MORE STRESS ON THE RELATIONSHIP. HE IS YOUR FATHER NOT YOUR CHILD AND IF YOU PLANNING TO HAVE A MARRIAGE WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE ONE WITH DADDY THERE? YOU GOT TO MAKE SURE THAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS SOLID BEFORE EXTRA THINGS COME ABOUT. LIKE YOUR FATHER OR OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS. THE FACT HE IS 26 HE IS NOT READY TO CARE FOR ANYONE LET ALONE HELP YOU WITH DAD. YOU TWO NEED TO GET AWAY TALK THINGS OUT AND IF YOU STILL CAN'T COME UP WITH A SOLUTION START LOOKING FOR AN APARTMENT AND MOVE ON. MAYBE WHEN HE GROWS UP THINGS WILL SEE MUCH CLEARER TO HIM AND HE WOULD LOOK MORE AT YOU AS A PARTNER AND NOT HIS MOTHER/ MAID. IT WILL HELP THAT MAYBE IF YOU BACK OFF WITH HELP CLEAN UP DO THIS AND DO THAT AND JUST DO WHAT YOU CAN. EVERY WOMAN IN AMERICA HAS A XBOX MAN. LEARN HOW TO MAKE HIM PUSH YOUR BUTTONS FOR A CHANGE. MAYBE WITH DAD THERE HE FEELS HE CAN'T DO THE THINGS HE USE TO DO. YOU GOT TO LOOK AT IT ON HIS SIDE TOO. MY FIRST THING I WOULD DO WILL GO AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND AND ENJOY LIFE AND TALK THINGS OUT. THEN MAKE YOUR DECISION STICK WITH IT. TRUST AND BELIEVE HE'LL STOP PLAYING THAT GAME AND HELP YOU AROUND THE HOUSE. SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO LET THEM KNOW YOU MEAN BUSINESS.

Answer 2

I second the counseling suggestion. To have time together to talk, go for a walk. If he's in front of the Xbox all the time, it could be that he's unwinding and he needs to compromise on the amount of time he spends on it, or he's addicted, or he's just 'checked out' of the relationship already.

Reading material to consider:
Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman
Relationship Rescue, Phil McGraw

Answer 3

Both of you- if you want to work it out- ought to give couples counseling a try. You have lots of stress on you and are trying to deal with it in your won ways. Does dad really need to live with you during the week? the two of you need some time together, doing something you both forgot- have fun. Good Luck.

Answer 4

If you both still love each other, then counseling will work. You resent his lack of help around the house, and probably of always having to ask him for it, as well. But, as long as there is love, there is hope, and counseling will help you get it all out in the open. Give it a try.

Answer 5

It doesn't sound like love. It sounds like 2 silly children who have used each other as little security blankets to avoid growing up, yet play house like married adults and fail miserably.

Answer 6

Your 26, don't stress out so much.
I would break up though.
You are holding each other back from maturing fully.

Answer 7

1) Dad gets his own place

2) Couseling to figure out what you need to do to be happy.

3) Be aware you may have to call it quits