We have been living with room mates since before our marriage. We moved with my job. Her and our mutual friend were home alone all day long. Me and her were having some problems and were going through counseling. While we were living under seperate roofs, she and him started kissing and things. Now I'm trying to forgive her and forget about the whole situation because I love her so much, but she has become increasingly irritable with me. What should i do? Am i doing something wrong?
2007-06-05 12:28:47 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't lose hope
2007-06-05 12:33:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are you addressing the issues in counseling? And why in the world would you marry someone that you have been living like roommates since before the marriage?
Rebuilding trust and healing the betrayal takes time even with counseling. You shouldn't have to supress your feelings by trying to 'forget'. In addition, the part about her becoming increasingly irritable with you - well, she's got nerve. My guess is that her heart isn't into saving the marriage. Bring it up at your next counseling session.
2007-06-05 19:43:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've only been married less than 6 months and you were already seperated? You need to sit down with your wife and talk about whether or not you really want to be married. This isn't normal. Yes, the first year is the most difficult, but you made a commitment to each other and if the trust has already been broken and you've already been seperated, it's time to think about whether or not you're willing to put forth anymore effort into this doomed marriage. If you do decide to stay together.. get rid of the roommate and find a cheaper place if you can't afford it with two incomes.
2007-06-05 19:34:33 · answer #3 · answered by 2Beagles 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is she becoming irritable with you because you bring it up? or is she just being irritable? if she is being just irritable that is a sign she may still be having an affair my friend. And if she is being irritable because you keep bringing it up maybe back off for a while and try to do something else so that it is not like salt in an open wound all the time. It is hard, but after an affair the spouse that is trying to get over the pain sometimes keeps it an open topic so to say and brings it up alot because it is always on our minds. This is unhealthy for both parties because it doesn't allow either one to heal and move on.
2007-06-05 19:39:08 · answer #4 · answered by wilfeistykitten2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to assess your relationship...you love her but does she love you? Is she willing to work hard to make it work, or is she just delaying the obvious? Communicate with her in a non-threatening way, meaning discuss her irritability, and ask her if she still feels the same way...at the end of the day knowing the honest truth of how she feels is the foundation for repairing the relationship or finding out early that the road is going to be a long one. Then you can decide if there is enough there to save or not....good luck!
2007-06-05 19:43:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do the math.
She cheated on you with 6 months.
Sad to say, but if you take her back she knows she can get away with it.
You just found out the sort of character she really is.
I would end it now.
Think about how you would be if she held out years and then took you for half then.
I say dump her now.
2007-06-05 19:39:23 · answer #6 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your wife is being selfish. You said you're participating in counseling, love her, and want to work on forgiving her. But it seems to me that she doesn't want the marriage to get fixed. I think you deserve better. There is no excuse for cheating so don't blame yourself for her actions.
2007-06-05 19:34:16 · answer #7 · answered by MyCat"Evan" 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be a man, get your nuts in place and kick her out! you deserve better. stop being a little boy and act like a real man. unless your self esteem is so low that you think you can't do better then just take it. If it was me, I will get this marriage nullified ASAP and don't look back. there is absolutely no excuse for cheating! Obviously she doesn't love you or has any respect for you. GET OUT!
2007-06-05 19:34:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) The friend must move out
2) You both need counseling
3) She has unresolved issues
2007-06-05 19:48:14 · answer #9 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that irritable = still cheating.
Sorry...
But, I think you need to move on.
2007-06-05 19:43:34 · answer #10 · answered by Allison 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hell to the no get another chick !move on man
2007-06-05 19:44:00 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋