little bird,
flying up in the sky,
above the water,
the tide rises,
as do the waves,
higher and higher,
towering over the beach,
chaos,
winds,
tragedies,
then calm,
quiet,
peace,
the little bird returns,
the nest gone,
little tears falling on the branch,
a sad, quiet calm,
only with passing time,
is there a new nest again.
2007-06-05 11:13:57 · 7 answers · asked by iANNA! 5 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Certainly, you have magnificent imagination, creative and memorable.
There is this rare talent of picking a small aspect of the marvels of nature and marvelously making it a thing of wonder and beauty. You remind me of Isabel Allende and the father of magical realism, Garcia Marquez. You have this natural gift with language making the words serve your purposes lucidly as in this instance:
the little bird returns,
the nest gone,
little tears falling on the branch,
a sad, quiet calm,
only with passing time,
is there a new nest again.
It is just an excellent twist and look at this powerful image:
"little tears falling on the branch"
And yet we know birds don't so weep and that you mean more, much more!!
That is what only Allende and very few others are capable of!
Write more, I enjoy reading your poems. Do you have a collection somewhere like poetry.com where I can read more!!
Thanks and congrats.
2007-06-11 23:15:59 · answer #1 · answered by ari-pup 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see a lot of imagery which allows the reader to be there in the poem with you. I feel like you could have added more emotion through personal attachment. I want to be able to know how you felt while writing this poem. Poetry is from the heart and it is supposed to express emotions. I really did like your poem though.
How this encourages you!
Erica
2007-06-05 18:37:31 · answer #2 · answered by ducky 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I liked it I felt like I could picture what was going on inside the poem and thats the kinds of poem I like to read poems you can picture when you close your eyes so in my on personal opinion it was excellent very mature and well handled I think you have a chance at poetry writing if you wanted too
2007-06-05 18:37:09 · answer #3 · answered by Cutie T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It was very emotional. As a poet I feel it is a very moving poem.
2007-06-05 18:51:07 · answer #4 · answered by gubbgoogoo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very good.
2007-06-12 14:23:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i like it. very pictury, i saw the image, but i didnt feel it as how you wrote it!
2007-06-05 18:26:59 · answer #6 · answered by LizZARD E 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I bet PETA would cry their hearts out over this one. ;)
2007-06-05 18:21:28 · answer #7 · answered by You Had Me At HellNo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋