how can I gain a healthy sense of self-worth and not need so much praise from other people?

Question

As an only child, overprotected and sheltered, my self-esteem came from my parents who gave me tons of external praise...I became dependant, now I need to give this to my self. How can I work on this everyday? What do I do to make own sense of healthy self worth? Thanks :)

I think now as an adult, since I was so dependant on my parents approval, I try to get my sense of worth from other people. I think this is why I take things soo personally and feel soo wonderful when they compliment me and take it too heart when they critisize me. Thanks again:)

Answer 1

by making the choice to see it in yourself. you are the answer every day when you wake up the first thing you need to do is thank god that you did and thank him for your day you start every day with the the knowledge that you are a good worthwhile person and choose to have a great day. the rest is all yours you decide that your day is good and make sure that it is . everything that happens to you today you have a choice to make it good or bad choose good. everything is your choice

Answer 2

What should have happened is that the praise that you received earlier in life should have been internalized and became some of your internal thought-speech - the internal talk you have with yourself.
You need to meditate so that you can hear this self talk. Usually I recommend people empty their mind, but in your case you should listen to your self-talk. Sit in a very comfortable position or chair. Take a couple of deep breathes. Concentrate on your breathing, which should be even and calm. If it is negative, dismiss the thought and concentrate on your breathing, which should be even and may become shallow. If you think of a good thought, think "That's a really good memory. I must think of it more often." and then dismiss it and concentrate on your breathing. Do that for 20-30 minutes a day.
If you can't do that, sit down when you have a moment and make a list of happy memories with your parents. Write down 10 things. Read it 10 times. Then put it away. The next time, try to think of 10 more things. Try to include compliments you received no matter who said them.
You can also get a book of exercises, Building Self-Esteem, on amazon.com or your local book store.
Peace. The Power is within you. Be good to yourself, be good to others. You will make it.

Answer 3

I kind of have that problem too. I look at myself in the mirror, and I think of the Bible verse that says "You are beautifully and wonderfully made" and then I think about certain things that I'm good at, and how I compliment the people I know because I may be good at something that they are not good at and then I may be able to help them. Once you think of things that way, how you contribute to life, it makes things seem a whole lot better! Hope everything turns out okay

Answer 4

disconnect from you parents as much as you can, and deal with things as they develop. As time goes by you will be able to handle it. It is a learning process just as you would learn tarot reading and eating with chopsticks. I can see that your parents gave you lots of candies, bad for your teeth but wont kill you :-)

Answer 5

challenge yourself in diff hobbies & pursuits

the sense of accomplishments (no matter how small or abstract) will add to your self-worth

it will also help you learn how to analyse & filter outside praise/criticism is worthwhile
(b/c along w/ur growing list of been-there-done-that will be your ability to guage what's worth listening to & how to handle all types of criticism)

Answer 6

respect yourself