My Parents?

Question

I lived with a guy for 13 years who was not nice to me. He did drugs and sometimes slapped me around. When I left him my parents were very angry at me. We are Spanish and this is something you don't do. I have met a very nice man who is good to me and my childern. But still my parents are urging me to return with my "husband". My whole family tends to agree with them. What do you think? I really love the guy I am with. But I love my family too. I really do not want to choose.

Answer 1

First of all the best thing you did is leave this loser. If a relationship becomes physical their is no love anymore. Second parents need to support their children unconditional. It is not their life you are living it is yours. You need to sit them down and explain this to them. As long as this new guys is ever thing the old one is not I say go for it. Time to be happy and move on. Just be smart about the new guy. Make sure everything is on the up and up. You have kids and this is the first thing that should come in your life. Be sure to let him know it and them. As for your parents if they can't understand that you are happy time to cut them out for awhile. Odds are they will come around. Don't make it easy on them. They need to earn your respect and trust back. Keep your head up and look forward to your future.

Answer 2

You mom never got slapped around by your boyfriend right?
Your parents will either come to accept this new good man or they won't, but if you stay you will be happy. No matter what the nationality normal parents want their children to be happy, that your parents care more for what it "looks" like than how you feel, should speak volumes to you.
Stay with your new man, you and your children are the most important thing, not some man you were never married to and the fear your parents have of losing you to a good man.
Not everyone can be counted on to have your best interests at heart apparently.

Answer 3

U have been through a lot of crap. U found a way out. And now u even think of living the same crap again? Your family is not a real one. Just the fact that the same blood runs through your veins doesn't mean they are your family. A family is supposed to support u whatever your choice is after consulting u for the best. They don't think of your happiness, but of their name's honour. Just because they can't think rationally doesn't mean u must do whatever they say. We live our lives for us and our own children. Of course making your family proud is important but only if it serves u as well. U found someone who loves u and treats u right. He even takes care of your children. Will u exchange him for a husband that slaps u and takes drugs? U have to think about your children too. U don't want them to grow up in such an environment. In addition, it is not your parents who will live with him but u. And u are the only person u should ask for permission. I hope everything turns out well for u and that u make the right decision which is not with your ex husband.

Answer 4

How come it took 13 years to figure you are unhappy ?

You will not like my answer. You are making excuses because you are in love with another man. Forget the excuses, just run to your love ---- follow your heart.

Will this new guy want you and the kids when and if you become free ? The picture changes when the free ride is over. Will this new guy stand by you, pay your bills, support your kids ? If so go for it. I don't think so, he will run and run fast.

I hope he is sincere, has money, and can fulfill your life.

Your family and friends see things in this situation that you don't. Take a chance a run the signals. They will get over it and then you will have it all, ex husband, kids, family, and lover.

Good luck on this one, I would like to see the progress on this train wreck.

Answer 5

Yea but you have to choose.

It's sad but sometimes your own family don't always have your best interest at heart. Some parents don't want their daughter to get divorced (even if the marriage is really bad & their daughter is suffering) because they're more concerned about their own reputation, ashamed, religion excuses, etc. Or sometimes if your husband has money or somewhat an important person in the community, your parents will always try to make you stay in the marriage & give you some bullshit guilty trip.

When this happens, they are putting themselves first than the happiness of their own daughter! I love my family but if they do that to me I will do what is best for me.

Answer 6

It's unfortunate your parents would rather you be with a drug abusing wifebeater. That being said, you, not your parents are in charge of your life. You must act like an adult and not their child. You are grown. Behave that way.
By not choosing, you will have already made the choice and that is being miserable. If you are happy, your children are happy, and you owe it to them to give them a happy home.
Take time to get to know this nice guy. If the relationship has the potential of becoming permanent, your parents (and extended family) will come around.

Answer 7

Well 1st of all u should not have to choose. The man u r with now is obviously the right choice, no woman should be slapped around for any reason.If i were your parent i would praise u for leaving him and throw ya a party, Good for u and i hope everything works out 4 u..... :) Stay where u r, u have a great man!!!

Answer 8

"Husband"? You are not married. Tell your mamita it was a sin to be living with the other guy and you are repenting now by living without him. Show her your new rosary beads or prayer book or Bible study schedule or santa...depending on her religion of choice) This should appease her sensibilidad latina (think you mean that you are Latina or Hispanic...not Spanish...like from Spain...but then again...). Beyond la familia I am sure you know that you do not deserve to be beaten up, so that is a non-issue, right? Who would go "back" to being treated like dirt by a crackhead?

Answer 9

You are a grown woman, and should be making decisions for yourself and your children that are healthy and safe. Your husband is NOT a safe answer for you and your children right now. Pretty soon he'll be slapping the kids around. Make sure you get a restraining order, and have supervised visitation for the children when they see him.

Don't DATE or be with anyone right now!!!!! Get your life together, and take care of your children until they have a stable home environment.

Your children should be put first right now, not your love life!!!!!

Answer 10

I know the spanish familys and when you go against what they say its hard for them to do for you, but family does not always know what is best. I say you follow your heart and if this man is good to you then you go with him as long as he treats you and your children right. And if they love him as much as you do then that is great. You never want to stay married to a man who hits you cause when children see this they tend to grow up and do the same thing,So answer this one Question and you will know what you should do. Do you want you son hitting on woman or do you want your daughter to be hit by a man? Cause if they see mommy getting hit they are going to think its ok for them to be hit or to hit.