I am trying to help my older brother who is going through a terrible time. He has been married for 40 years, (has grown children and grandchildren) basically in a very unhappy marriage. However, his wife is the type that would never leave him and my brother is the type who will put up with anything in order to keep the peace. She is very manipulative and vindictive and it will be horrible when and if this divorce comes about. But, my brother has met somebody, and they love each other and have so much in common and so much enjoyment together. He is afraid to take the first step and tell his wife so he has been talking to me. What should he do first, talk to his kids, try a separation, talking to his wife first would be out of the question as she will just go ballistic. His main concern, I believe, is the fact that he feels he will be letting everybody down (his family, friends, etc) and that his wife, at first, will be unhappy. Any ideas on how this could be made less painful?
2007-06-05 09:43:41 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he wants to be happy, he need to get a divorce. No one will be let down, they just want him to be happy too. He needs to stop thinking that way.
No he should not tell the kids first, that will just alert the wife. Someone will tell her and then all hell will break lose. He needs to get his financial dealings in order, and then just pack a couple of bags and move out. Do not tell her in advance or at the time, just be gone. He can call her and meet her somewhere public to let her in on the details. Of course he should have already contacted a attorney and had the papers made up. Have her served the very next day and never look back again. Clean break as possible.
2007-06-05 09:52:58 · answer #1 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's already been having an affair. Tell him to get a lawyer, get the papers served and if she has anything to say she can say it through the divorce papers. His children will understand that he tolerated as much as he could. If his kids are grown, then they will learn to deal with it on their own. He needs to be happy too. Its not always about the people around you(kids, friends, family). I'm sure those people want him to be happy. Just tell him to leave, serve the papers, and move on. Anyone that looks down on him for it can go to hell. They will all just have to get over it. Especially since hes had a taste of happiness with someone else. kudos to him. tell him to stay happy.
2007-06-05 10:15:22 · answer #2 · answered by EspysMom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should have gotten out of the marriage before having an affair. Tell him to pack a bag, and put it in the car and tell her and then leave. Men need to stand up and be men, I do not know why they are afraid of what someone is going to do, when all they are going to really do is scream a lot.
Marriages fail, it is a fact of life, but noone can fix thier lives when they allow other people's thoughts and feelings run thier decisions.
2007-06-05 09:54:05 · answer #3 · answered by Ivy_Woman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do no longer think of sufficient human beings comprehend the seriousness of marriage and what it potential. a great form of the time human beings get a pretend experience of what it incredibly is going to possibly be like and while it incredibly is not the way they like it to be they throw there hands up and say forget approximately it. enable's settle for it marriage replaced into meant to be an entire life dedication (except adultery happens) between a guy & a woman in accordance to God. yet another element isn't everybody reads the Bible you ought to pass to Gods be conscious to make sure how a marriage could function. (the two husband & spouse) If everybody study and accompanied the Bible concern of marriage have faith me we would have very few if any divorces those days.
2017-01-10 14:45:30 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While I admire your wanting to help your brother, if I were you I'd let him do his own dirty work. If you help him along the way and things don't work out well....you'll be partially to blame for it blowing up in his face. He is the one who has to be a man and decide and do it on his own without being coerced or coached by anyone else. I know you mean well, but I would sit down and tell him just that...you want to help, but he needs to be the one to make the decision.
2007-06-05 09:53:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave some one else's marriage alone and worry about your own.
2007-06-05 09:49:00 · answer #6 · answered by Bones 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋