Lately it seems that my husband never has anything nice to say about anyone or anything. He's been stressed but he's doing very little to help himself get through it or find an outlet. I'm at my wits end on how to deal with him and I'm tired of being brought down by his negative attitude. I'm being patient and as understanding as possible but I'm at the pint of wanting to just tell him to get the F*ck over it!! Anyone else have to deal with a partner who started acting this way? How did you deal?
2007-06-05 08:43:20 · 17 answers · asked by Shelley L 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Um, okay... the sex life is fine. I'd love to do it more, but it's hard to get turned on when my husband is being cranky. Sorry, but that doesn't do it for me.
2007-06-05 08:52:13 · update #1
Maybe take a deep breath and give yourself a pep talk about the good things about your husband and the fact that he usually is not so negative. Then have a sit down talk with him. Sometimes people just need to vent and don't understand that it brings down those around them. Ask him if the two of you can think of some ways to reduce the stress level. Come with a suggestion or two (a massage, an ice cream cone even!) and just listen to what he has to say. If he refuses to talk, suggest he speak to a professional with or without you. If he still can't get past it, you should think about your alternatives. Don't give up though until you have to.
Good luck!
2007-06-05 08:49:10 · answer #1 · answered by Alexa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first thing we will need is to find out is what is stressing him out? Guys, generally don't g telling everyone what is troubling them, like many women do. We like to be left the heck alone while we try to sort our problems out on our own.
The hateful overtone he's using may be his way to get people to back off. Including the ones he loves.
Even though you think your trying to help him, and I'm sure your intentions are in the right place. It may be best to step back a little. By asking him whats wrong repeatedly, can sometimes be take by us guys as nagging.
Its kinda like this. Women say "whats wrong" Guys hear What the hel*s your problem. Women say can you take out the trash, Guys hear, you don't do shi& around here to help.
Just a couple.
I'm not Dr. Kyle, but just take a step back, give him some room, and don't let his attitude affect how you feel. It's also best to try and talk at suppertime, at the kitchen table with the radio, and tv OFF. Focus on each other, not on a spacific issue. At this time you can let him know you love him, that it troubles you that he's being this way, "even if he doesn't realize it. That your his wife and would like to help him, if he'd let you. If this works and he opens up to you, and you give him some advice, don't be made if he don't take it. It's just the way we are.
2007-06-05 08:58:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes people who are under stress take it out on all those around them.
When under true stress it's hard to enjoy life in any capacity.
IF it's financial stress he's feeling.... maybe you can help by getting a job or a 2nd job or asking for a raise.
That would help you and he (as a family).
You need to step up and HELP him in any way you can in order to alleviate the stresses he's under.
That's part of your commitment in marriage.
2007-06-05 11:57:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Patience, and stop freaking on him, you want him calm, be calm.
What happens when you stress? Do you want someone calm or someone to freak right beside you? You already said he's stressed, so do to him what you want him to do to you. Dont expect an overnight miracle either. Be persistent, but not a nag. Yeah it sucks that you have to be the one in control but what the heck, better him feeling out of control than you right? Help him and it will start to show...Good Luck
2007-06-05 08:55:32 · answer #4 · answered by avengress 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A couple of things;
Offer to help him find some coping skills. Suggest an activity together such as hiking. Exercise improves mood!
Tell him that his negative attitude is wearing on you, and that it is affecting you. Then focus on doing your own activities until he starts feeling left out and decides to get over it.
2007-06-05 08:47:41 · answer #5 · answered by Gen•X•er (I love zombies!) 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I have one like that. It is horrible. The best thing to do is leave. They make things sound like everything is your fault, nothing decent to say. I know the story. I am not able to leave right now but I will in Sep. or Oct. because there is no dealing with him. I think they have a problem they don't know how to work out. They aren't realizing what they r doing. If they are they don't care.
2007-06-05 08:50:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yeah my parents retire this past November. Now all they do is complain. Nothing ever is right for them, They are so negative.
I have this fantasy the involves them,duct tape and the basement.
2007-06-05 08:50:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that you don't like his negativity because its driving you nuts. Be honest with him.
My gf gets cranky and does the same thing. I let her vent to me about whatever is upsetting her and afterwords ask her not to bring it up anymore.
2007-06-05 08:49:01 · answer #8 · answered by Mongo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my boyfriend acted this was i sat down with him and told him that this has to stop or i will leave because i cant handle it. At first he said that he doesn't care if i leave so i did, a couple of days later we were back together.
You need to talk to him and tell him how you fell if that doesn't work then leave him and come back when he want to act normal.
2007-06-05 08:51:04 · answer #9 · answered by BabyGurl 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
the same as you until one night i had too much and i told him to grow the f*ck up and start acting like a man that i had problems too
2007-06-05 08:50:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋