I am 24 years old and my husband passed away 4 months ago. I was with him since I was in highschool and we have a 4 year old together. Before he passed away we were having problems and were seperated. I loved him very much and I miss him very much we just had problems. I feel so wrong thinking about dating again. Help.
2007-06-05 08:14:47 · 23 answers · asked by Sheree 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am sorry for your loss....No matter what the situation is losing the father of your child/or children or your spouse is always difficult....I think you defintley need the time to heal and to grow from this tragedy...You may still have unresolve feelings that may never be solved but, in your own ways and time you will be able to deal with them...You will know when it's time for you to move on...There's nothing wrong with thinking about dating...Your human and life is too short to be alone...Your daughter still needs a male role model in her life and there's no reason why you can't still have a family with someone else...You shouldn't feel guilty but, in fact embrace the opportunity when god put one in your path....I wish you all the luck***
2007-06-05 08:37:31 · answer #1 · answered by Yvette D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any time one has had a major change in life such as divorce or death, one should give oneself a minimum of a year before making any changes. Suzy Orman, the financial analyst, also agrees and says that is because one is too vulnerable to make rational decisions.
Also, you went from your parents' house straight into marriage with your husband. You are only 24 and not a fully formed human being yet. You need to spend at least two years by yourself, and supporting yourself, without any man involved. You need to grow as a person and now you have the opportunity. When you can support yourself and your child and ENJOY simply being and having the lifestyle you have created, then you can think about dating. Right now you need time for yourself and your child. And don't start dating and jump into a relationship with a guy simply out of financial temptation as many, many women do.
2007-06-05 09:19:47 · answer #2 · answered by D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's right to start dating again when you're ready. No one else can tell you when the right time is. It's up to you. Like you said, you were having problems before he passed away. A part of you had already started letting him go long before you actually had to. Life is too short to spend it feeling like you owe a debt to your deceased husband. You don't. Move on and enjoy life while you have it. If your husband were here, I'm sure he would tell you the same thing.
I'm sorry for your and your child's loss.
2007-06-05 08:21:41 · answer #3 · answered by Mel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to adjust to being a single mother that recently lost someone she loved.
Get involved in activities with your child, meet other single and married mothers at schools, pre-schools, churches etc.
Wait at least 1 year before you start dating. Flirt if it helps but don't get involved even for a 1 nite stand. You will be much better off and only you will know when its time to start dating again.
2007-06-05 09:08:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait a year. Not because it's right in society's eyes, but because you'll need some time to sort through your feelings before getting involved with someone else.
In the meantime, go out with friends, volunteer at your child's preschool, go to school. Do things that will make your child's future better, and the dating thing will resolve itself.
2007-06-05 08:22:13 · answer #5 · answered by Dena 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to go through the grieving process first.... for some it may take only a few months, for others maybe a year. If any longer get some counseling. But don't be in a hurry. If you don't feel like dating, then you're not over/through it yet. No hurry.
2007-06-05 08:28:59 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it would be wrong to think about dating again as long as you feel you are up to it. It's just been 4 months. You may need a little more time to just process it and deal with those feelings.
2007-06-05 08:20:17 · answer #7 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My condolences to you. Your very emotional and vulnerable. Right now you might not be able to distinguish feelings that you are having and will leach on to anyone.... If going out helps you to get on or get past what your going through, go out. You should be around others and if someone is showing you attention at the time when you need it, then befriend that person. Be careful and good luck in the future.
2007-06-05 08:23:03 · answer #8 · answered by Lil_MissVal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry to hear for your loss but 4 months if you are ready to date then date your vows where till death do us part im seperated from my husband and its been 3 months and i went out on a date watever makes you feel good hon you do what you think is right noone can answer that but you take care and gl to ya and your child jewels
2007-06-05 08:23:07 · answer #9 · answered by jewels 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are still young and at the age twenty four you have plenty of time to date, get married, get divorced and remarry again. Me personally I would take time to heal maybe start a career if you haven't already and try to focus on my child who needs me to be there and as time passes and you start to heel you can think about dating again.
2007-06-05 08:22:51 · answer #10 · answered by mrsknowitall 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋