How can I control my body language?

Question

I am beginning to feel that my body language and facial expressions are letting me down sometimes...I am a retail manager and there are times when i shouldn't look bored/angry/annoyed because customers and co-workers shouldn't have to see it!
I am aiming to be an area manager and even though there are people i don't necessarily like, i will still have to work with them and don't want my dislike to be obvious when i'm trying to do my job.
can anyone give me tips on "poker faces" and how to neutralise my body language?

Answer 1

you can't, as much as your shrink might want you to

Answer 2

im in retail 2 and i totally understand where ur coming from. i find that if u smile no matter wot, try 2 keep the customer on the same level as u and understand the situation from their point of view u never have 2 hide how angry u feel because u wont feel angry. maybe learning about body language will help but if u dont actually feel the way ur acting i think it would b hard 2 pull it off. but 2 b honest id say 2 b professional u would just get on with ur job and forget how much u dislike the people u work with. or get a new job maybe

Answer 3

the only problem with this is that even though you are notcing some of your body languages/facial expressions, there is still some that you are unaware of.

Everyone reacts to everything and in different ways.

You need to think mentally that you need to put a smile on, or sit up straight, and think about the advantages of doing these things. There only so much you can "fake" but if you're going to do it then you need to think of a way best suiting you that would make you smile at that Colleague or customer etc.

You obv like your job as you want to work up and progress in it so you just need to find the things in that job that keep you going and then think of them when your feeling abit low or when you really hate a Colleague!!!

Answer 4

Just remember why you're there. That it is part of the job. Don't take things personal. Once one looks at it from a personal point of view. One tends to get offended and that is what causes the reaction. Be it physical or verbal. Recently I had to attend a ceremony. Where someone I just can't stand was going to be there. I did see her there. And made no attempt at a confrontation. I did my best to remember why we both were there. Took the personal reasons I had for disliking her away. And it worked. I didn't even complain on my way home about seeing her.

Answer 5

As your body language is an involuntary action, the only way to control it is to change the way you think - there's no way you can simply isolate it as a purely 'physical' process. Not only will positive thinking lead to better body language; if it's your wish to become an area manager, you will need to change your thought processes in order to be successful. Not only will you be dealing with co-workers and members of the public, but the managers responsible to you will also be looking to you for guidance. As someone else has advised, try to smile, but make sure that the smile 'extends' to the eyes - if people can see it's false, that will only make the situation worse. Smiling lifts the face and actually makes us feel better. As you rightly imply, your co-workers look to you for support and any negative action on your part can lead to lowered morale. It's like playing a part on-stage, but in real life, and it's true that we all usually adapt ourselves according to the particular circumstances we find ourselves in. So, when the need arises, think of yourself as smiling, gracious and patient and that's how you'll come across. In time, this behaviour will become second nature to you. (Oh! what a paragon of virtue. lol!). You also mentioned boredom, so when you feel like that, try to think up new ideas to make the workplace a brighter place to be for you and your staff (boosts all 'round morale), or set yourself new tasks to do. Good luck.

Answer 6

I've gone through a bout of depression, and my facial expression has been a constant frown. It's gotten to a point where I have difficulty naturally smiling. Even when I think I've pulled my mouth into a smile, it still appears to be a frown. I've taken to practice-smiling in front of the mirror. I try different faces, like "warm, inviting", "eager", "excited", "surprised", even "prudent". For your area of business, I'd practice a "warm and inviting" smile, you want a relaxed look that makes people comfotable. If you need to hide frustrated faces, then I suggest using something to remind yourself. I wear a rubber band or hairband, or even tie a bracelet on my wrist, and when I overreact, i tug on the bracelet to calm down. Also things like clenching your toes in your shoes can work. If you're like me, and can only frown, pull your face into a light smile, which will appear pretty blank to others. Worsecasenario, remind yourself that you get off work in ___ hours,, and you can deal with it then. Have a great day!

Answer 7

Practice in the mirror. When people are being tought how to speak well in public/deliver speeches they use a mirror. Look at yourself saying/explaining something that you have to do often at work and you'll see whether or not you've got the right expression on your face then work with it until as your walking past a mirror you can spontaneously look at it and say what you have to say with an interested look on your face even when your thinking 'I HATE THIS PERSON/GO AWAY!' As for body language, dont fidget and stand up straight.

Answer 8

I take it none of the above are from a sales background. Invest in a Neuro Linguistic Programming course (NLP). This will teach you about body language and how to influence yours. You are correct in assuming that your body language will give away you inner feelings, but can you also read your colleagues? It may not seem fair to everyone, but body language plays a huge role in communication and being able to "speak" this language does put you at an advantage over the competition.

D.
X

Answer 9

Hey

Ok, well here's some of my advice:

1) if you feel your eyes are "glazing over" because of boredom or similar, try not to "tune out" and instead try to pay as much attention as you can

2) Try not to cross your arms too much when you're facing someone, as its' actually more of an unconscious way of "protecting yourself"

3) Don't lean on a wall and cross your legs, it can come across as being a little more "insolent" or "disinterested".

4) Try to make a reasonable amount of eye contact to show you're paying attention.

5) A smile every now and again always helps if you time it well.

6) other than that, do your best to look interested but not trying to hard. Talk to them, but don't override them, and don't let them talk over you. Most people enjoy hearing themselves rattle, but don't push it too far.

7) Really simple this one, but if you haven't quite payed attention to someone as much as you should have or don't understand (bit of a D'uh! one, but you would be surprised how often people fall for this), ask them to repeat themselves. Shows you are still interested, but you are being honest too.

Hope that helps

Someone else mentioned looking and practising in a mirror. That's a pretty good one actually, but try not to be too over-careful, as you can start to be a little false after a while.

Toodles

Answer 10

Like someone mentioned above, eat some chocolate. The pleasure derived from eating chocolate is more intense than a passionate kiss and lasts four times as long. Also, just remember to smile. If at the time you think about the situation and your body language, it might help you to remember to smile or whatever.

Answer 11

I have had that experience sometimes. I was always told by people when I was angry that my eyes told it. I have never seen it though. :P Anyway, after this experience, I thought up this way.
Maybe you could try it too.
First, if you feel angry a bit, you could try and think of something funny or something that might make you feel not angry. Mine was to think about my kitten.
Secondly, if you feel bored, you could think of something like
if you like eating, you could think about what sort of food you are going to eat. Mine was to well... Read, so I usually think about the books I wanted or was going to buy etc.
Thirdly, if you are annoyed by somebody or something, you might try and breath deeply slowly and quietly so the person in front of you doesn't see it.
I think the inside of your feelings should be cleaned, because I think that your feeling gets to you face faster then lightening that you can't stop it. So if you feel yourself getting one these feelings(angry,annoyed,etc.), you could try these. If it doesn't work, please don't mind, because all of us are different anyway. And I just had an idea:
Try face yoga, it sometimes works.