Guys Please: Why does he always think I have someone else?

Question

I am a very faithful girlfriend to my live in boyfriend and he always jokingly accuses me of cheating. I just sent him a text saying "I wish we were home alone, I am not sure what had gotten into me lately" and he said "Whatever, I know you have another man" ??????? At home when my cell phone rings he says "Booty call?" or something like that...we joke around about it but you know how there is always truth in stuff like that. is he just insecure ? Why doesn't he just enjoy when I am flirting with him instead of back handed comments? Again, I am very faithful and have never cheated or given him a reason to think that I have...

Thank you for all of your answers! i have considered the "he is cheating" theory...and its possible... but not probable. He does get jealous now and then and we argue about it once a week or something but its getting better. He is a great guy but the way he turns my advances towards him into me being with someone else is just absurd. He does always ask "why are YOU with me?" And tells me he does notdeserve me...etc... geez... We all need to grow up. :)

Thank you for your comments

*****He has been cheated on previously...

Answer 1

He probably was cheated on in the past and now he is worried his current girlfriend might do the same. Just keep reinforcing to him that you are faithful and he should come around.

Answer 2

I understand where you are coming from on this. I had a boyfriend who did the same thing. There are a few ways to deal with this:
1. He is extremely insecure. In order to deal with this, you have to show him that he is your one and only. Do things like holding his hand in public so he knows you don't care if people see you together. If you have friends that are guys that he could be jealous of make sure he meets them so he knows that they know he is your boyfriend.
2. He could be cheating. You obviously know him so if you know this is not true you can skip this. But I've had an experience with a guy who was really insecure like that and it turns out he was cheating on me and was just feeling guilty! Once again, you know your man so if this is not feasable than don't worry about it.
3. Just talk to him. Let him know that it bothers you when he jokes around like that. Tell him that he is your one and only and if he can't trust you in that than obviously something is wrong.

Answer 3

From a guy's perspective, he has insecurity issues. A lot of reasons would explain his behavior. For example, if you're really beautiful and he's below average, he may feel inadequate in your presence. Maybe he sees good looking guys checking you out, and feels like he can't compete. Maybe (and this is a long shot) he's cheating on you, and by accusing you of the same thing, it makes lessens his own guilt. Like I said, it's a long shot, but it happens. I'd watch the joking thing. I tend to be sarcastic too, and I don't believe there's an ounce of truth in every joke, but sometimes jokes can be damaging even when they aren't intended to be. If he insists on bringing this stuff up, you need to start confronting him every time in a rational manner to make him understand that you aren't doing these things, and try to make him look at himself and analyze why he thinks this way. The real problem is him.

Answer 4

Hun i know how u feel. my boyfriend was like that he is insecure, an feels he is not good enough 4 u. but its horrible to be accused all the time an the more u try an defend yourself the more he will do it. he will grind u down in time there is also the other saying that a partner who accuses u is doing it them selves it eases there guilt. talk to him tell him he either stops the comments an trusts u or u don't think u can be with him, if it Carry's on time to have a serious think about weather u can put up with it.

Answer 5

I'm not a dude but.....It could be A) he's very insecure or B) He's the one cheating. Sometimes we live with so much guilt inside that we take it out on the other person. Like reverse Psychology. It might come to a point where you do say your cheating just to get him to shut up. Try talking to him and see why he's always thinking like that. Or he could just be very jelous. Talk to him and get is P.O.V.(← point of view.)

Answer 6

He is insecure. You need to quit joking about it with him. That is saying it is ok to say those things to you. When he does say that tell him you don't appreciate his insecurity and lack of trust and the back handed comments are hurting your feeling. Then reaffirm to him that you are a faithful, loving ,girlfriend who adores him and only him. If he continues it then he needs to work out why he is insecure about you.

Answer 7

That might be his own guilt, you might want to snoop a bit to see if he has any strange text messages or new number..or a pattern of his behaviour has changed. If not then sit down with him not in an emotional confrontation but in a restaurant or over coffee and don't ask just tell him that you are not going to entertain those comments anymore...and be done with the conversation...

Answer 8

He is just insecure and is fishing for information that he doesn't want to hear. Sit down with him and tell him in absolute terms that you do not and will not cheat on him and that youwant him to stop the garbage before he damages your relationship.

Answer 9

Sounds like he's massively insecure. That's his problem, not yours. I'm sorry that he was cheated on in the past, but YOU didn't do it. He needs to work through his issues.

Answer 10

God your lucky you didnt marry the guy yet ! I say hes close to being obsessed ! I would move on to someone that would love and trust me . That is if your not guilty of doing things behind his back . I hope your telling truth .