Hey everyone i jut recently moved in wit my great bf, he wants to be a family but some of my other family say i am wrong for leaving my aunt after her husband passed a month ago, do u think i am?
i loved him and love her too, but y do i have to put my life on hold??
i have been here for her and its not like i completely moved out i just spent 2 damnnn nites out and they trippin.
me and my bf want to get our relationship on track and work out all the kinks b4 the baby ocmes in november, am i wrong for this?
i am not the only one with my aunt there are like 8 other people in this building y does everything seem to be put on me?
2007-06-05 07:36:37 · 20 answers · asked by babiilove101 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
No we me and my bf are not in the same building but we stay like 40 blocks away whick is like 15, 20 mins from my aunt. i havent completely left all my shyt is still here, i spend more time with her then the bf. i stay the night with her, we go out and everything but they act like its not enough
2007-06-05 07:57:36 · update #1
No, you are not wrong. There is one thing I can't stand and that is when family assumes you have no life. That sounds like the case here. You are obviously old enough to be a mom and be out on your own, so it's YOU time now. You are not responsible to stay for anyone. It's time for you to move on with YOUR life and people need to understand and respect that. It's okay to sympathize with your Aunt for her loss, but it is selfish for people to ask you to put your life on hold. Your Aunt has lived her life and you should be able to do the same.
2007-06-05 07:40:02 · answer #1 · answered by jetskichick25 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I agree. You shouldn't have to put your own life on hold when someone else is in need. You should of course, do both. But if your other family members who are criticizing you for moving out when you have helped your aunt out most of the time, when they don't, then they have no right. They should all be thankful for the time you did put in for her instead of the time your not putting in, which would be two nights. I think you need to talk to them and ask them why they're not there for your Aunt, when you can't be. But if they still don't understand that you need time for your relationship, then all you can do is ignore the criticism and move on with your life, trying to help out your family along the way. If you feel your being pushed into a position that you dont feel comfortable in, then tell them. The worst they can do is disagree and....criticize more. But like I said, brush it off and move on. And keep in mind, the timing of it all isn't your fault, so you shouldn't have to take the blame for it. Good luck.
2007-06-05 14:53:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im a bit confused... are you living in the same building just a different apartment??? If you are then I dont even see where the argument started from. Your aunt is a bit sad right now, and although you dont need to put your life on hold, you need to be aware of her needs. I know you want to work things out with your boy friend, and make everything good for the baby (congrats. by the way!!) Instead of moving out and completely leaving your aunt out, see if you can do lunch or dinner with her a few days a week. Catch up with her, and disguss her feelings. Explain to her that you are doing this for the baby not to hurt her and that she is very important to you. By makeing the time for your aunt, she will come around and see that you do care and try to help her as much as you can. If your boyfriend is being a bit inconsiderate about this situation, then tell him that family needs to be first, and although he is family to you, he needs to be family to your whole family not just you and your baby. His understanding will help make this whole process easier. Good luck hun, Im sorry for your loss... Im happy for the new addition to your family and I hope this all works out in the end for you.
2007-06-05 14:44:53 · answer #3 · answered by shadowsthathunt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have not done anything wrong to leave to your aunt by herself. As long as you visit her as often as you can before the baby comes in November. As for your family they should take the time to visit her as well. Some of your relatives should volunteer to see if your aunt needs chores done around her home.
If she needs to go to the grocery store or pay bills. Then another thing once the baby the comes you and boyfriend will be very busy. Then another thing your family has put too many responsiblities on you. It is time for some of them to take some of load from you.
Being pregnant and stressed out is a bad combination. I have been down that road. Take it easy.
2007-06-05 14:56:55 · answer #4 · answered by grandma23choppas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok I'm sorry your uncle passed away And i'm sure it is hard for your aunt and your a good person for helping her out and being there for her. No i dont think your a bad person for needing to straighten your things out as well Especially if you have a little one on the way!
You can still be there for your aunt and I comment you on it. But personally no i do not think it is wrong with you to work on your life in the meantime
Good luck to you
2007-06-05 14:42:04 · answer #5 · answered by cee_jae22 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to be like on-call for your Aunt, but you don't have to be with her every second. You need to be with your boyfriend too if you are having a baby in November. Your Aunt has plenty of people and have you talked to her about this. She is the only one that should have an opinion about this.
2007-06-05 14:42:47 · answer #6 · answered by Trinidy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is put on you because if they get you to do it then they don't have too. Life moves forward and goes on. Your #1 responsibility is to your child and then you and then your boyfriend in that order.
You need to talk to your Aunt your self and tell her that you are still there for her but you need to get things ready for your baby. Maybe you could ask her for some advice and/or help. Taking her mind off of herself is a very good thing to do for her and you very well may need the help when this baby comes. If you do, ask for it, don't try to be superwoman.
Good luck!
2007-06-05 14:42:03 · answer #7 · answered by New England Babe 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So just so I understand...
You and your boyfriend are expecting a baby in November, and you recently moved out of your Aunt's place and in with him.
First, how old are you? Your family may be more concerned that you are too young.
Otherwise, unless you're really young, I would say that you need to live your life. Your family can't expect you to replace your uncle in your aunt's life.
2007-06-05 14:40:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not wrong. Your baby needs to be around it's father. Plus you'll want to be around the man that you love especial since you're pregnant.
You can be there for your aunt without living there.
In the long run it's better for you and your baby if you are a family with your boyfriend.
2007-06-05 14:42:46 · answer #9 · answered by gavinsmommy2306 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being pregnant, you are the last person they should be leaning on for help. Your priorities right now are you and your baby. You do not need extra stress of caring for someone else if there are others who can do it also. What does your aunt want/need? You should talk to her and let her know you are there for her but you need to prepare for the baby's arrival which includes working on your relationship with your bf.
2007-06-05 14:42:47 · answer #10 · answered by dkwkbmn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋