I'm only 23 weeks along, but my hubby has started worrying that he won't be able to bond with our son when he arives. He is worried that all he will do is cry for me when he holds him. How do I aliviate his fears and How does he bond with our new baby?
2007-06-05 07:24:13 · 16 answers · asked by ayla_2114 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Bond by doing. If he takes an active role in parenting he wont have anything to worry about unless you are gestapo woman and dont allow him to do anything because he might do it differently than you. The easiest way to alleviate his fear? Give him a baby chore list....works everytime.
2007-06-05 07:40:39 · answer #1 · answered by coolhandven 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He should hold the baby while both of them are topless as much as possible, particularly the first 6 weeks. He should help burp and amuse the baby. And should make eye contact with the baby from 10-12 inches away the same as happens during breastfeeding.
There is no reason to bottle feed for Dad do bond, much of breastfeeding bonding is from the skin to skin contact, and the optimal distance to mom's face. Neither of which is necessarily accomplished via bottle feeds.
Also have him talk to your belly now to get baby used to his voice ;-) I don't know how much it will work, but it might make him feel better.
If he is involved the baby will not cry for mommy, well not all the time.
Take care of yourself and him. It's a big change
2007-06-05 07:37:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Truthfully, he probably will cry for you alot... not in the very begining (because he won't know the difference!) what once he starts being aware, he will want mama!
It passes though, and soon enough he won't want anything to do with you when daddy gets home from work.
But, to answer your question, daddy can give baths. This was great for my husband for about 3 weeks, and then he got bored and i ended up giving baths again.
Co-sleeping has also been great bonding for my son and husband. They get to cuddle for 8 hours, it's really a great bonding experience for the whole family :)
Other than that... sometimes you just have to hand the baby over and go take a nice long bath. You will be terrified at first, as will your husband. But, he will get over it and figure out his own ways of comforting and calming your child.
Also, daddy is ussually the first to really "play" with baby. My husband had a goal to get our son to laugh and was constantly doing all sorts of silly things. He ended up laughing for the first time in the car-at nothing.. oh well!
2007-06-05 07:36:59 · answer #3 · answered by Mommy to David 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
have your husband be an active participant along with you as soon as the baby is born. he can do absolutely everything that you can do except breastfeed. the baby will get to know him just as easily and as likely as he gets to know you so there is no reason for him to think that the baby will immediately start wanting you. in the beginning, when you are still recovering from childbirth it is a really good time for your husband to take the lead and let you sleep and take it easy as much as possible. let him initiate diaper chnages, and do diaper changes, let him burp the baby, let him feed the baby as much as you do if it is bottle fed. try not to take over or take the lead and just let him do it and he will know how and what to do right from the start just as well as you do. have him read some books on baby care and that way he can have a better idea of what to expect. don't let him sit on the side lines and let you do all the work and get all the bonding time in. it does get easier for him to not participate as much if he hasn't does it all along. make sure he is taking care of the baby right from the start!!! living with the baby and taking care of the baby is how bonding occurs. be sure to not have him wait until the baby is older, as an excuse. it doesn't work that way!!!
2007-06-05 07:39:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband had never even held a baby before I gave birth to our now 2 month old daughter. He was terrified, but he slid right into his role as daddy. He would get scared when she would cry and call for me to come and get her but that stage only lasted a couple of weeks. He is working his way up to number one dad now. I have even returned to work and he looks after her when I'm away if I don't take her with me.
I don't think either of you should have a thing to worry about. The second you see your son for the first time things really do just fall into place. So stop worrying and enjoy this awesome experience!!!!!!
2007-06-05 07:34:01 · answer #5 · answered by peanut 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let the father help like changing diapers,if bottle feed let him feed the baby,let him hold him whenever and as often as the father wants,let the father put him to bed at night,let the father give the baby the bath,when the father is holding the baby and the baby starts to cry don't rush over to calm the baby let the father do it,let the father spend time alone with the baby.
2007-06-05 09:20:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
let him be an equal partner from the start throw him right in don't correct him when he does it different then you as soon as the baby is born include him have him changing diapers,outfits and when you get home as soon as you can leave the two boys alone for the day-they can get to know each o0ther in a different way i work sat.'s only and ev ery sat. is daddy and son day(our son's 6 mo.)it's easier for a man to learn without mommy around hovering making sure he's doing right -every sat. i leave for work and come home they seem closer they have their own thing going and daddy is soo proud -tell your husband not to worry my husband was the same way but when you see your baby son you bond right away and alot of people say its easier for a guy to have a son because he doesn't feel so weird about changes and girl stuff..congrats!
2007-06-05 07:30:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A child will naturally bond with any caregiver that give them attention. Even the basics, cuddling, kisses, feeding, changing, etc.
Society acts as if children need more than we have to offer, when all they really need and crave are the basics of life. All be it consuming, it is still just basic needs....food, clothing, love, etc. Anyone can give that if they choose to do so.
Not to mention children will go through stages where the may prefer the comfort of one parent over the other, but as sure as the tides shift, that child will change their mind quickly...thats not unusual.
2007-06-05 07:32:00 · answer #8 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All of his fears will go away when the baby gets here. He has to hold the baby right away. A lot of men, including my husband, are awkward with newborns. He had a lot more fun with our babies once the interacted with him. He should just hold the baby and talk to him as much as he can. Sometimes daddy will be able to comfort baby better them mommy because he may cradle him differently and he just wanted a change of scenary.
2007-06-05 07:37:17 · answer #9 · answered by dkwkbmn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will bond with the baby. I was just talking to my husband about the same issue. Our daughter is 4 years old and our son is 4 weeks old. I am amazed that my husband has a similar bond with our children with out having the 9 months to feel their every movement. My son cries more when have him than when my husband has him. My husband can get him to sleep so easily in his arms...I have to put him down for him to fall asleep.
One thing we do is my husband does all the baths for our son...that is his time with our son. He gets final say on all clothes we got for our son, and I pump breast milk for my husband to feed my son (through a syringe at first...as the nurses when you baby arrives)...he will bond with your son just fine.
2007-06-05 07:36:55 · answer #10 · answered by thesunshineking 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋