My husband and I were separated for 1 month and I ended up sleeping with a mutual friend of ours a few days before getting back together with my husband. (I had sex 4 days between the 2 of them) Its now been a month and I just found out I am pregnant. I know if I tell my husband about this we will end up divorced if the kid is his or not....I love my husband and don't want to lose him and I don't believe in abortions either. Any advise would be helpful.
2007-06-05 06:53:43 · 12 answers · asked by Just me 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if your husband is willing to raise another mans baby then stay with him. But if he doesn't want to then thats the price you have to pay. You need to talk to both men asap. the longer you wait the worse its going to be. The best you can do right now is talk to both of them. its going to get ugly before it gets better. But they both have the right to know. You need to take responsibility for your actions and pay the price for your decisions. it sucks but i wish you the best of luck and I hope things turn out the best for you.
2007-06-05 07:12:57 · answer #1 · answered by EspysMom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should have an abortion, but I do think you should tell your husband either way because if you don't it will be hard to live with that secret for the rest of your life and if you do you never know he may be angry but love you enough to except it anyway, if he leaves you then at least you know that you suffered the consequences for your actions and he didn't. I mean could you imagine having this baby and he thinks it his and he holds and loves it and you deep down inside know when you look at the 2 of them that it isn't his. I don't know about you but I wouldn't feel too good about that, so my advice is first of all go to the doctor and find out far along you are and get on vitamins and stuff so you can be healthy and then just tell him that you love him and you are sorry and want to work things out, im sure he will be mad at first but he will either realize that he loves you enough to trust that you wont do it again or leave you and you will have to deal with it on your own and chances are if he leaves you, you were not meant to be together anyway remember things will get better for you. And just do what you know is right, don't make your husband suffer your consequences. Good Luck to you.
2007-06-05 07:38:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. If you don't believe in abortion then you will end up having this baby right? My suggestion then, would be to wait until the baby is born, and get a paternity test. I'm not certain if this is something you can manage without his knoweledge of it, but at least that way if you found out that it IS your husband's baby, there will be no need for unrest, and no need to hurt him for nothing. If it turns out the baby isnt his, then you can handle the issue from there.
Another thing you might try, is to talk to a doctor and find out what day they believe you may have conceived. Though the two encounters were close to each other, this may make it more clear for you.
2007-06-05 07:02:59 · answer #3 · answered by Loren J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd want to but another pair of shoes if I were in your shoes!!! Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive! Its because of "your" wants that has gotten you into this mess. From the outside looking in, this is all about you..."you don't want to loose him"," I know if I" all quotes from above. Take you out the picture and look at the better good of everyone involved. Your husband deserves to know while you guys were separated you slept with someone else and you got knocked up. Its unfair to him to allow him to take care of a kid that could possibly not be his. He should at least be aware that it is possible so he won't get attached and then boo-boo hits the fan when the truth is out. What if the baby needs marrow or blood, if your husband tries to give it and finds out the kids is not his, he will be destroyed...(just an example). You were woman enough to make your bed, be woman enough to lye in it...
2007-06-05 07:06:02 · answer #4 · answered by Lil_MissVal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Lord. That's a hard one. I think you shouldn't tell your husband until the baby is born. If it's his stay with him and never let him know about what happened with you and the friend. But if it's not his let it go. Raise your child and find someone else. I know its easier said than done though.
2007-06-05 06:58:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would do something you dont believe in. You need to make your own decision, as hard as it may be for you. You have 3 lives you need to consider. However, YOURS is the most important at the moment. Seek professional help so that you are able to make a decision that you are able to live with for the rest of your life. My heartfelt best wishes to you.
2007-06-05 06:57:57 · answer #6 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess you don't believe in birth control either. Deal with it now that you boxed yourself in. I would leave and divorce you too if it were I.
2007-06-05 07:48:07 · answer #7 · answered by seahorse 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell either of them & hope for the best. And by the way, ... that's why condoms are always a good idea.
2007-06-05 07:02:55 · answer #8 · answered by shellysd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope I'm never in your shoes (they're pretty stinky right now)
Keep your mouth shut and your legs closed.
Don't screw up your families lives because of your mistake.
2007-06-05 15:19:15 · answer #9 · answered by jonesk_92656 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's now or later. Secrets like that ALWAYS come out. If he loves you maybe it wont matter. much.
2007-06-05 07:01:24 · answer #10 · answered by Ray2play 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋