I was in hospital for kidney infection my fiance cried but after i told him i had kidney cancer he laughed?

Question

... and then told me i wasnt the girl for him and then left me. i told him i had cancer 1 month after the hospital when i learned about it from further testing. why would he cry at the hospital saying he was going to marry me as soon as i get out when i just had a kidney infection but when i was diagnosed with cancer he laughed, didnt care then just broke up with me for good? i thought he loved me?

he told me i wasnt a woman to him.

then he slammed the door in my face.

should i be depressed cuz not only do i have cancer but now im broken hearted and may die alone. he was the only one who visted me in hospital. i have no family and no friends. im so depressed.

Answer 1

you shouldn't be depressed. He was a stupid man. Try to be strong and patient. everything happens for a reason. You'll meet the right one soon.

Answer 2

I thinik that maybe he does not know how to handle it and this was his way of dealing with it. It does not excuse his rude behaviour. He is not equipped as many to deal with issues like this. I'm sorry that you are dealing with this by yourself and I would encourage you to seek others that are going through the same thing. In the past when I was younger I used to sometimes out of fear laugh(nervous) because it scares me when someone shared their personal trauma with me however I went into a holistic group with other woman and learnt how to deal with this. It might help if you call him and have a heart to heart with him or his family. He might be feeling like a goof right now when he digests his words.
Maybe its a good thing that his fear played out the way it did for you because you need someone with strength, dignity and support along with love, compassion and understanding. There are a lot of people out there in our circles that do not know how to handle that kind of pain and suffering. It could be that his emotions are that of a child and cannot process the dealing with loss, or not want to get his heart broken whatever reason it is, it is not about not caring about you. I in the past have said some words that I regret and when given the moment have asked for forgiveness and said I was sorry. I too suffer from a form of cancer and I know the inner pain and fear it brings, I cannot change that but I do make every moment count while I have it. I'm only human. I do look for alternative therapy, such as foods, herbs and vitamins. Try goji berries, a hand full a day will boost your immune system. Try positive affirmations and keep a good clear mind, when I go for my blood work every six months, the doctors are surprised that I'm so healthy and state that whatever I'm doing keep doing it. They say I'm more healthy than the average human being that does not have this affliction. YAHOO. All my blood cells, etc. are on a scale that is normal. So I would encourage you to seek good postive female friends, good food, change your thinking to positive and you will see that the right person will come along. I do have quiet time amongst my husband and twins, I find the time to be with myself and meditate, not long just enough time for me to regain my inner spirit and respect my thoughts. All the best and I will keep you in my thoughts. kat

p.s. I also started drinking green tea and holistic drinks, water and pure juices believe I'm living proof that it works...

Answer 3

I think he may be confused. He probably thinks you have cervix cancer. The common problem with this is most cervix cancers come from having an STD called HPV. The problem is some women with this cancer have to have hysterectomy's. Maybe he could not handle the idea of never being able to have kids with you. He seems a little strange anyway cause who laughs at someones misfortune. He may be dealing with the pain of you being hurt in his way. Maybe he thinks if you did not have him to deal with you can focus on getting well. People deal with trauma in different ways.You should not be depressed because you need to focus on getting well. Depression and stress can actually weaken your immune system and make it harder for you to fight those cancer cells. Maybe you should try sitting down and talking with him appeal to his humanity. Let him know that you need him to be by your side at least as your friend. Sit down and explain to him what and how your cancer is caused. Your focus should be you right now. You will be in my prayers and I hope you get well

Answer 4

That's awful. What a low-life the guy must be, as if you don't have enough to deal with. I can't even begin to understand why he acted like this. You just had the bad luck to fall for a 2 faced loser, lots of them about.
You need to concentrate on yourself, your treatment, getting well. Show him you don't need him in your life. I only have one kidney and have been in hospital with infections. They're bad enough to cope with, but being told you have cancer must have blew your world.
Don't waste your energy looking for answers, why he left. Be happy that you found out now, instead of a few years down the line, maybe with a couple of kids to look after too. I really wish you all the very best for a long and happy life. Stay positive, and remember, we might be strangers to you on this site, but we care, and we're here for you.xx

Answer 5

I'm sorry to hear you have Kidney Cancer, I am dealing with it also , I have less then 2/3 of a kidney left, and yes, it is something to be concerned about. My partial Nephrectomy was about 5 years ago , and I did have a recurrence and had a ablation, where they burnt the tumor out. hopefully , you have 2 kidneys, and it isn't in both of them. As to the boyfriend, if that was his true feeling, well, your better off with out him. And at this point you need to deal with the important thing and that is getting rid of the cancer , and getting on with your life.
Yes, there is a life , and for me at this point it's not much different then before surgery. Your the one that's important , God be with you .

Answer 6

i think that he is not ur true love... because if he really loves u, he will be with you when u r healthy or sick, happy or sad, or at any conditions... he said that he is going to marry u when u have kidney infection maybe because he knows that infection will cure n u will be back to normal again, but cancer is different, we dont know what will happened...
but atleast now u know that how much n strong his loved for u b4 this... its not pure... i think everybody deserved a pure love no matter who u r, where u r, n how u r now...

another thing... i think he doesnt deserved u... n i want to say good luck to u, i hope u will get well because some of the patient that have cancer b4, lives happily now... so if they can do it, why dont u... always stay positive n dont give up.....

Answer 7

Be glad he left now. However some people do not know how to react in moments such as those and shut people out by hurting them so they themselves do not hurt in the end. I remember when I found out a few of my friends had cancer I didnt know how to react but I sure didnt leave them. If he left you he didnt love you and maybe his "laugh" was more of a nervous laugh. I hate to be rude but I wouldnt marry someone I knew was going to die either. Cancer however isnt a death sentence I hope you get treatment and move on you deserve someone better then him.

Answer 8

I couldn't just sit around and do nothing like my doctors suggested.

They didn't want me to do anything or to take herbs or herbal remedies, but I had to try something - they just wanted me to do dialysis!

This program allowed me to take control of my health. I went from Stage 4 to Stage 3 kidney disease.

It was easy to do and my BUN, creatinine and anemia are all in better ranges.

Reversing Your Kidney Disease?

Answer 9

be glad he left now, before you got married. If you had married him , your life would have been horrible. He would have never considered your feelings or taken care of you. He is obviously inflexible and uncaring, you don;t want to end up with someone like that. Put your trust in god and read the bible, faith will help you cope. Don't loose hope that you will get better.

Answer 10

I'm so sorry What an ***, men have trouble at times dealing with serious stuff, Honey you are better off with out him, I know it isn't easy, being alone, but you will be ok and when your better don't give him the time of day, good luck

Answer 11

He's an asshole ( thank goodness that he left you and you saw his true character before you got married ... that in the middle of a '' storm '' he just leaves you ) , go find somebody else ( you deserve better )