I met my fiance two and half years ago. He is an overseas student in Australia and I am an Australian girl converted to Islam. After three months of knowing each other we got engaged and everything was perfect until he started abusing me so we spent some time apart. From the start 0f 2007 we starting seeing each other again and we were going to get engaged again. But now I just found out I am pregnant and he wants me to get an abortion but I don't want to do that as it is a sin (i know that getting pregnant in the first place is a sin, coz we had sex out of wedlock but still it is done). I want to keep the baby but now he is abusing me and telling me to f**k off and that I am ruining his life. Now he is leaving the country and never coming back because I want to keep the baby. I can't believe he is doing this after 2.5 years of knowing each other. I need some advice plz.
2007-06-05 04:40:08 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I do not want to be with him anymore, I was only considering getting back with him for a short time and silly me, I got pregnant. I'm not giving my baby away, I will have my mum to help, the only thing I'm worried about is that he will not pay child support! The agreement between Australia and Saudi Arabia for child support has not been established so I cannot make a case against him if he leaves and doesn't come back. He should take responsiblity!
2007-06-05 04:54:26 · update #1
I also worry about being alone for the rest of my life. I want to marry a muslim man coz I want my baby to be brought up muslim. But what muslim man wants to marry a non virgin with a baby!?
2007-06-05 05:02:37 · update #2
It seems you have already made up your mind not to have an abortion, so that leaves having the baby and either placing it for adoption or keeping it. There are many single mothers in the world who raise wonderful, happy children. You are certainly better off raising your child without a father than with one who abuses women. Being Muslim has nothing to do with it, as far as I am concerned. He's an ***. Let him go. You can still at least try to get him for child support in case he just says he is leaving the country and doesn't. But I would get a good lawyer just in case he tried to go for visitation or custody if you kept the child - there could be serious problems if he takes the child back to his home country without your permission.
2007-06-05 04:48:41 · answer #1 · answered by Take A Test! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Count yourself lucky, I am Australian and I know there is a lot of help in Australia for single mums. You do not need an abusive man in your life or your baby's. Stop worrying about the sin, it does not matter. What matters is your health and your baby's health.
Keep the baby and go and make an appointment to see A Family Planning Clinic. They have councellers to help you and set you up with assistance.
Also as he doesn't want the baby do not put his name on the Birth Certificate that way he will never get custody if he changes his mind in the future, he will also not be able to get a passport and take your child overseas.
Good luck
I don't know which state your in, but here is a link to a NSW Family Planning clinic. Look for other states on the internet.
2007-06-05 04:48:55 · answer #2 · answered by REBECCA 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow! This is a terrible situation, but the only thing more terrible would have been if he stayed in the country. If he abuses you, he will abuse your child. Your life would have been reduced to an after-school special, and I'm sure you don't want that. I don't know how old you are, but you have 3 choices as the child is concerned: have the baby and accept the fact you will be the only one to raise it, adopt the baby out to a family who wants to raise the child, or have an abortion and learn from the situation. I am not about to give moral advice because that's your own deal to figure out (rest assured, there are plenty of people who are going to preach about morals to you). Just understand, each option has pros and cons, and each one will be difficult for you. It's not all negative, because each scenario has their own benefit too. I genuinely feel for you, and I wish you lots of luck.
2007-06-05 05:00:05 · answer #3 · answered by big k 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should not be so surprised that he is treating you and your unborn child in this way.
You admitted he abused you while you were dating. This was a RED FLAG that you ignored and now you are seeing the consequences. It's very clear that you deliberately chose to have sex with an abuser, and become engaged to him.
Now everything is falling apart and you are acting surprised. But deep down you know that your sins really do have bad consequences, which is why God commands us to do what is right. One thing you must do if you haven't already is to get down on your knees and ask forgiveness from God. Then ask Him to help give you the strength to carry on.
Be thankful that your fiance is leaving the country! Since your baby will not have a father to care for it, please consider adoption so that a loving and stable and financial secure family can hav the child they have been praying for.
2007-06-05 04:46:07 · answer #4 · answered by Veritas 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
A'Salaam A'Laikum...........the best thing you can do is make dua and pray for guidance in this situation. If what you are saying about his behaviour, you are better off without him. Trust in Allah, and he will provide for you. Just don't loose faith. I also am a convert, and Islam is the right path. Unfortunately, you just found a bad apple. Stay strong in Islam, and stay active in the Muslim community around you and the right thing will happen.
Don't discount all Muslim men. There are many who will marry a lady with a child. Not all Muslim men are jackasses. But unfortunately, stay away or be very very careful about Muslim men from Saudi and else where in the Arab world. It is sad to say, but I have known many convert women who have problems with their Arab husbands. Look towards the Pakistani, Indian, Malaysian, and Indonesian communities. You will find their men to be much less harsh.
2007-06-05 04:57:16 · answer #5 · answered by Sadiqua 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You need to get out of the relationship no matter what! You have to wrry about your safety and that of your baby. I know it is painful, but with the support of friends and family you will be able to get through this difficult time. I am so sorry that you have been put into this situation...but remember that your baby is the most precious gift and that you need to stay safe. Good luck with everything... I truly hope that that asshole will not bother you anymore.
2007-06-05 04:48:28 · answer #6 · answered by Sarah 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to get through this for your health and your baby. Yes u want you baby to grow up in a muslim home, but do you really need someone of that nature to teach your child ANYTHING in this world, a person who cannot take reasponsibility for his own doing??? You are muslim, u cn teach him/her the same thing. You live in a world with alot of appreciative peeople, you'll find someone one day....you dont need and irresponsible, abusive person in your life. not now, not ever....
2007-06-05 08:27:32 · answer #7 · answered by vee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him go. If he is abusive, why in the world would you even take him back, let alone get engaged again?? Keep the baby if you want to, and leave the guy.
2007-06-05 04:48:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him go. It's not worth your safety or the safety of your unborn child to try and keep him. As you have (hopefully) learned, abusers do not change. He will continue to abuse you and possibly abuse your child as well. I do not know anything about programs available to you in your area, but you should definately look into them. He's a horrible person and will suffer, either in this life or the next. Best of luck to you.
2007-06-05 04:45:19 · answer #9 · answered by duckygrl21 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why on earth would you want an abusive man around you and your baby?? He obviously has some anger issues, which are only going to get worse with time. You two are better off without him.
Good luck!
2007-06-05 04:44:43 · answer #10 · answered by Chewie 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋