Can same-sex marriage help foster kids find "forever families"?

Question

This straight writer believes so.

http://contraception.about.com/b/a/000034.htm?nl=1

"I will tell you exactly what we will tell the children, especially the thousands of them who are currently in foster care because their parents did not use birth control, created a child that they didn’t want, and put the child in the care of the state – we can tell them, good news! There are now a whole new set of people who would be willing to take you home, love you, nurture and protect you, and give you the life that every citizen in the United States is ENTITLED to."

What do y'all think? My wife's already fostered, and we want to foster teens as a couple as soon as we have a bigger place.

Few teens can be more difficult than we were, and we just connect with them, even more than with cute little kids. And they need help the most and get the least. So, it seems to click. Now all we need is room in our house! :-)

Answer 1

I think loving adults of any gender or orientation, coupled or single, that can provide a safe, loving home should have the opportunity to do so.

I was adopted by a heterosexual couple who had NO business being parents. My childhood sucked (although I know others had things much worse) but it didn't matter to the authorities since I was with a "normal" family.

Ick.

Answer 2

I think it is wonderful that anyone would open their home to a child in need. My family was a foster family for troubled teens while I grew up, and although it was not always easy, it was always worth it. It would be a much better world if closed minded people would realize that times change, and the "traditional" family is acutally the minority now. I say any home with loving, caring, responsible adult(s) is a wonderful place for a child. Having a parent with an alternative lifestyle will not make a child gay. The only thing it will do is show them that no matter what, they are loved. In fact, it may even help children be more empathetic and caring if the parents help them understand that not everyone is the same, and to respect everyone. I wish there were more people willing to provide a loving safe environment for these children in need. It would be much better for them to be in a non-hetro family than in a group home, orphanage, or just circling around in the system that has no place for them to be. Thank you so much for providing a place for these kids, and good luck to you and your wife.

Answer 3

Foster teens are a difficult group of kids that need more patience and love and stability than kids from loving homes. Even teens from healthy families are REALLY difficult. My advice is to be strong as a couple, (whether gay or straight) support each other and discuss how you plan on rearing these kids together and go for it. And God bless you for making the world a better place for these kids!

Answer 4

Here is what I think. I question a lot in life including my own views but this is something that is clear as crystal in my head: A gay couple has as many possibilities as a straight couple does to give a child what he/she constitutionally deserves. It does not make any difference if you are gay or straight (in my mind). The quality of being a parent does not rely on your sexual orientation. I am straight and single. I cannot have kids and would like to eventually adopt a child. Of course, laws and regulations state that in order to do so, you must be married; in some cases, organizations ask that both parents be catholic. I am not even baptized. To me, adopting may become mission impossible. However, I feel in my heart that I too, although single and going to limbo world when I die, can give to a child what a "straight" couple supposedly gives...

With the rate of child abuse that is virulent in our society, it is about time we revise our ideas on what it means to be a good parent? What are the inherent things any child must receive? What is our responsibility as human beings in regards to our children? Instead, we persist on wasting time with bygone, unprogressive, bourgeois self-righteous thinking that determines our societal structures, defines what is good from bad, acceptable and not. Meanwhile, thousands and thousands of children in America are being abused, ignored, abandoned, and even killed.

When are we going to finally become smarter?

Answer 5

I have an 18 year old daughter, "Leilani", who happens to be a lesbian, (and I love her and support her with ALL my heart). I also have a 7 year old daughter who looked out her window and saw my oldest kissing her girlfriend. When she asked me why Lei was kissing her "friend" like that, I had to clarify the difference between "friends" and "girlfriends and boyfriends". I told her most people, when they feel it in their hearts, will kiss the opposite sex. But, sometimes, a girl (or boy) feels "different" inside and kisses another girl (or boy) because that's what their heart tells them to do. When you kiss someone like that, it means you love them very, very much, in a different way than you love a friend. I also told her that when she's older like her sister, she'll probably kiss someone, too. I emphasized "older", because I don't want her being a confused little girl and trying to kiss her friends like that. She seems to understand and it was only a matter of time before she realized what was going on. I'm glad she has her sister as the "example", because I think it's easier for anyone to understand and accept if it's a loved one that's gay or lesbian.

Answer 6

The only problem I see with this is what kind of reception such a foster kid would get from his peers. Everyone knows kids can really be mean to each other sometimes.

A lotta kids seem to be against gays and lesbians. This would give em a extra reason to rag on the foster kid. The foster kid who is already in a bad way just cuz he's a foster kid, really don't need that.

So, even tho I ain't got a problem with this plan...and really I think it's great...still, lookin from the kid end, it might not end up as good as it sounds.

Maybe in the future some, when people have got rid of their hangups on this subject, it might really work out tho.

Answer 7

Yes. I believe so. I believe children thrive in loving environments. If the love comes from 2 moms, 2 dads, 1 mom, 1 dad, 3 moms and a dad or 2 dads and a mom, it's all the same.
Children suffer in un-loving environments, and goodness knows there are plenty of those in the "traditional" setting.

Answer 8

Go for it!! Good for you!!

Foster parenting and even adoptive parenting takes a type of unconditional love that not enough people "get".

My parents were foster parents when I was in high school. My brother and I still keep in touch with a couple of our foster syblings...and they are still part of our family in our hearts.

Answer 9

As much as I disagree with homosexual adoptions, I would rather them 100% over abortions. I would vote for legalized homosexual marriage and adoptions in a heartbeat, if it meant making abortion illegal.

However, keep in mind that a homosexual couple has the same chance of getting a divorce than a heterosexual couple.

Answer 10

your right every child need to have an opportunity to see what life is realy about

good luck with every thing