question for people who are married or in a relationship?

Question

If your wife/husband or gf/bf did not have a job and could not pay his or her bills or anything else and you had to pay for everything and was trying to get something but it was taking for ever would you leave?

Answer 1

Trying to get something? Some meaningless, material thing? Is that more important to you than your significant other? Wisdom tells me that the 'thing' you're trying to "get" won't make you half as happy as your partner. You probably shouldn't even be in a serious relationship if you're comparing your relationship to 'things'. If you're married, it's for better, for worse. If not, leave if you want, as you are not obligated.

Answer 2

I believe a being married and living with a bf or gf is different. When your married there a showing of commitment by both to "grow old" together and bring up a family. I'm married and I am the one working of the two. She doesn't work by choice, which is fine with me either way. As long as enough money is made to cover all expenses then nothings wrong, but if let's say my income doesn't cover them, then yes she should work (I make more than enough though). In a gf/bf relationship, it's a relationship but there is no final commitment and I'm not just saying this because of a piece of paper. I think that in a relationship both should agree with what's permissable in the relationsgip and what's not. For example lets say you're the worker and the other isn't. If both of you agreed to carry the relationship this way, then it's fine. But lets say the none worker wants to spend like crazy and buy stuff without your consideration, then there's a problem. If that other person wants to spend like crazy, but you as the money maker know what's within the budget, then that other person needs to hear from you your expectations. My wife and I always take time to talk about our financial situation and what we can and cannot spend on. I can't go off buying crazy stuff or her spend like crazy on designer clothes, yet we both want a great vacation. The greater the vacation, the less we spend during the year on luxuries. Try and keep it simple and work out a budget. Keep all necessary bill funds in one account, making sure it can't be spent until it's time to pay the bills, and the rest in another account. Also try and give each other allowances to limit spending. Also if the other person has spending issues, keep them out of signing on the account and/or no credit cards. It's all for the good of running the household and keeping an open and healthy relationship.

Good luck $

Answer 3

When you are married, it is a partnership of more than just minds and hearts. It is a full partnership where good and bad times are shared. There is no 'my money' or 'their bills,' it should only be 'our money' and 'our bills.' A real relationship should be about compromise, we are different personalities. When one person 'wants' something, the needs of the family must come first, everything else is icing on the cake. If you can't deal with that concept, then you (meaning any person in general) are not in a true relationship.

The question you did not answer was why the person was not working. If it's simple 'laziness' (for lack of a better term) then the other needs to get off their butt and find something to help the family. If there are other reasons, then we get to the 'shared' aspect of a family dynamic. Somebody in this equation may need to stop being selfish and look at the big picture.

Answer 4

I am not currently working, but I receive child support from my father, and it is just enough for me to pay my own bills. My boyfriend won't let me help pay any of the other bills: rent, electric, water, etc. I was working and lost my job. We have two kids and child care is more than I could afford if I got a job. I'm taking classes to get a job from home so I can work and take care of the kids. I do all the housework and cook most of the time, I also run all the errands.

Answer 5

No. I have lived with my significant other for 4 years now, we are engaged. He has worked 14 months ( 2 different jobs and not back to back, 2 years between jobs) in the time we have been together. He did draw unemployment 6 months in the 2 years between jobs. Everything new we have I bought, my paycheck went for nessecities. I make decent money and when I wanted a new car I stopped all the "new" things until I had enough to put down on the car. He complained about my hording money or being a tight-wad but in the end I got a car. I love him, he is a good man and besides his unwillingness to maintain a job he is all I want. You have to decide if your relationship is worth sticking with or leaving, everyone is different

Answer 6

Ok, first he would have to have a very good reason why he wasn't working, and is he trying his hardest to find something quick. He might have to take a job that he doesn't want in the meantime, just so he can at least pay his own bills, so the burden of everything is not on you. Financial problems is one of the number one reasons couples break up. Now, put yourself in his shoe for one second, if he had to pay for everything and you were trying to find a job and it was taking longer than anticipated, would you want him to leave you? You have to think about that also. And like I mentioned before, maybe you have to suggest to him that he might have to just take a job that he doesn't necessarily want, just so that he can ease up some of your burden and frustration. Communication is key!

Answer 7

My husband works as a computer contractor. As a result he is often times unemployed. I wouldn't leave him because of it though. I knew when I married him that that was the way things would be. And even if I didn't know in advance, I still wouldn't leave him now. When you love someone, as long as they try to find work, that should be all that matters. Also, some job fields don't usually have a lot of openings. It's hard to find work these days. And even if you have a lot of experience most places want degrees to back it up. It's one thing if your partner doesn't work because they don't feel like it. Kick that person to the curb. But someone who tries to find work, they deserve your love and support.

Answer 8

no. just tell the other person that they are putting money aside for it. Then gently start discussing job opportunities with the other person, for instance, while in a store say, "Did you know they're hiring here?"
And first of all, a bf/gf with no job having the other person pay all the bills is a moocher! When dating, everything is either dutch or split, no one person should pay for it all. Regardless.

Answer 9

A person would only leave in that situation if they valued the thing they were trying to get more than their spouse, which would make them a complete loser (to put it nicely)!
In my marriage, there is no "his and her" bills. They're OUR bills. And if my wife can't work, then we tighten the belt to pay what we are responsible for, and don't worry about buying something we don't absolutely NEED.
I imagine this is a hypothetical question, but if it's not, then get your priorities straight.

Answer 10

Money doesnt = relationship--however when one is draining with no intentions there needs to be a very big heart to heart visit,and if there is no change then if your just bf/gf time to find someone who is responsable or deal with there lack of judgement. If married different story,a/c if one isnt at least trying to hold up there end then it effects the entire family,and someone has to take the lead and make money changes.