Seious question - in a dilemma?

Question

Long story short. I was divorced in Jan. As part of the divorce I wanted to sell and get my 50% and so that we could move on our separate ways. He convinced me not to, that he wanted our 2 girls to live in the house they have known and that he would pay 50% of mortgage plus child support. We would sell the house in 9 yrs when my little one turns 18... I said ok. I was reluctant, but because I would have exclusive use of the house I said ok. All this is in the divorice decree. Now, he "changed" his mind, he wants to sell the house. Now I don't want to, I'm comfortable. He's taking me to court to change the decree. I'm thinking of justing giving in, other than my girls I don't want anymore connections with him. And I don't want to pay for another lawyer but at the same time dont want to give into him because I know it's a control issue. I really don't want to move, I love my house.

Should I just give up and sell???

I can't afford to buy him out. Mortage is too high

Answer 1

Since you did not answer my email questions, there is not much anyone can do to help you at this point.

There is a reason I asked the questions I did and it could mean the difference between having to go to court and disposing of the matter expeditiously.

EDITED BASED ON NEW INFORMATION:
The modification of equitable distribution is governed by R. 4:50-1(f). Any relief from a divorce judgment pursuant to R. 4:50-1(f) requires proof of exceptional and compelling circumstances. Ordinarily, to establish the right to such relief, it must be shown that the enforcement of the terms of equitable distribution would be unjust, oppressive, and/or inequitable.

An application to reopen a divorce case is often presented by a showing of fraud, misconduct, or mistaken negotiations, or by showing a fundamental inequity or unfairness in the divorce agreement.

It must be emphasized that it is very difficult to prevail in any motion to reopen a divorce case. A person cannot simply claim a mistake or allege that the divorce agreement was unfair. There must be hard proof that the divorce agreement was based on fraud, deceit, or a major mistake.

An applicant has a heavy burden in convincing a court to reopen a divorce case. The family courts have a predisposition to enforce any divorce agreement. However, there is the countervailing doctrine that all divorce agreements must be just and equitable.

In most applications to reopen, the court will also perform a Crews analysis. Basically, the court will determine the parties’ standard of living enjoyed during the marriage, and compare it to their current standard of living. In the seminal case of Crews v. Crews, 164 N.J. 11 (2000), the New Jersey Supreme Court held that in all divorce cases, the court must make an assessment on the record of the standard of living that the parties enjoyed when they were married.

In my experience, if the marriage is a long-term marriage, then the courts will certainly give this factor strong weight in any application to reopen a case. The court will try to assess if both parties have been able to maintain a reasonable standard of living after the divorce.

It is possible to modify a property settlement agreement when the modification does not materially alter a major term of the agreement. In many cases, the lawyers and the parties simply do not cover every aspect of the divorce. The cases are rushed.

Moreover, many parties simply do not think as clearly during the divorce process. Consequently, many important details are missed or overlooked. A person can file a motion to reopen the divorce case to modify and supplement the terms of the property settlement agreement.
It is also possible for a person to reopen a divorce case to request a clarification of some of the terms of the property settlement agreement.

Many property settlement agreements are poorly drafted, and are very confusing to interpret. After a divorce, many couples are very bitter, and it is often impossible for them to reach any type of agreement on issues that arise. It is always important to stress that obtaining the divorce is only one half of the battle. In many of my cases, the post-judgment aspects of the divorce are more hotly contested than the divorce was.

If a property settlement agreement is confusing and if it does give guidance as to the equitable distribution of marital assets or the payment of marital debts, then a person can file a motion with the family court to reopen the case. The motion can request a reformation of the divorce agreement.

A reformation of the divorce agreement is not a modification of the divorce judgment. Instead it is merely recognition by the court that the property settlement agreement was not totally complete, and that it failed to accurately express all of the terms of the divorce settlement.

Now, after all of that, and based solely on the mertis as presented in your post, I doubt seriously if the court will move your ex's petition to reopen to the pre-trial hearing phase, essentially denying it before trial.

Therefore, to insure your expected and hoped-for results, your response to any such summons received in response to your ex's petition will be:

Defendent denies Plaintiff's allegations and;

Furthermore, Defendent prays the court immediately dismiss Plaintiff's action on the grounds that Plaintiff has not stated a cause of action for which recovery under law is permitted.

Answer 2

No, this was his initial decision and I would hope your attorney stresses that point to the judge. It is in your decree, you agreed it was the best interest for your children and yes I agree it is a major control issue. My ex did the same thing with me. Not sure what state you live in but we had the same judge each time he tried to take me back to court and the judge saw thru this as well. I imagine he is looking to buy something for himself and the double mortgage is hurting his credit...thats his problem...stick to your guns and good luck!

Answer 3

you have a divorce decree that says you get to keep the house. If you dont want to move, you have a pretty strong case to keep it.

Is it worth your time and money to fight him in court? thats up to you. But most judges will look at the divorce decree and throw out his case.

Answer 4

If it's in the divorce decree, then it's pretty much cast in stone. I'm sure a judge would agree with you, should it go back to court.

Answer 5

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Answer 6

UNless you get yourself another lawyer or the same one who handled your divorce he may have a chance of turning the tables on you...Your divorce attorney may be able to stop him from doing this, sounds like he just doesn't want to pay the mortgage anymore...Foot the bill for the lawyer...

Answer 7

So even after divorce he can control you. Get a spine and don't let this creep pull this crap. He made a deal for your daughters sakes and now he wants to renege. Make him explain to a Judge why his girls aren't important any more.

Answer 8

No, let him take you back to court and look like an A$$ in front of the judge. they may still make you sell, but you get the satisfaction of knowing he wasted money on taking you back to court!

Answer 9

Fight for what you want. Since it's in the original decree, the burden of presenting proof for why it should be revised will fall on your ex. It should be a fairly easy win for your lawyer.

Answer 10

It is up to you. You should remind him that he should be concerned with his children first, and not do something to have control over you or for spite. Especially if it hurts the children.