What do you class as cheating???

Question

Im a married woman. Not a very happily married woman right now, for various reasons. But im starting to fancy other men. I sometimes feel guilty, but at other times it help to drift off into my own little fantasy world when things are tough at home.

Is this wrong of me to get the hots for other guys? Is this cheating, even if its only in my head?

Answer 1

I think about having sex with Justin Timberlake daily and I have a boyfriend...who cares as long as you aren't acting out the fantasies...not that I wouldn't if I had the opportunity....I'm so naughty!!

Answer 2

You may be "married" but you're not burried* It's fine to think and even look at other "hot guys" this is not Cheating* it's a normal thing * but if you cross that line when you're married and the looking starts going to the touching...then YES it would be cheating*~ But no......in your head it's not cheating* Sounds like tho you need to sit down and talk to your man and try to find out why you both are on the outs right now* try working through that...If you feel your relationship with your husband will never be that.....then time you neeed to figure out if you're willing to stay and put up with this from him, whatever it is...or if you're going to pack it in and leave..Up to you*~
Communication Trust and Honesty are the keys to a long healthy relationship..without those you have nothing* GoodLuck*

Answer 3

I wouldn't call that cheating, more like living in a fantasy. Having fantasies is normal, but if that's all you do anymore, meaning you have no attraction towards your husband, then it's not healthy. Why not try having a heart to heart with your husband to see if you can work out your differences, then maybe you can start to fantasize about what you are going to do with him instead. Nothing wrong with fantasizing about other people now again (just never act on them for obvious reasons), as long as it doesn't interfere with reality.

Answer 4

The fact is that no matter if you are happy in marriage or not, people are going to look at members of the opposite sex because it's human nature. I'm sure that someone is going to interject that looking is wrong and that it is sinful. Sorry, but a majority of the guys still look at other women and women still look at other men. Why do you think that Brad Pitt is so popular? How about Halle Berry? As long as you do not act upon those feelings, you should be fine. It's when you act upon those feelings that you get into trouble.

Answer 5

Yes, it is still a form of "cheating". It is said "As a man is in his heart, so is he." (This applies to woman as well)
Having a passing thought float through your head is not wrong, but to dwell on it or to fanatize about it is just as wrong as commiting the act. The only difference between the two is that only God knows what's going on in your head. But it can be just a matter of time before what happens in a persons mind becomes action.

I think what you should try to do is see if there is a way to revive your marriage. Check out the following:
http://www.fotfforums.org/fusetalk/forum/index.cfm?forumid=6

Hopefully this helps!

Answer 6

No it is not cheating. You are human and we all look including your husband. There is such a thing as emotional cheating, but you are not mentioning anyone person in particular. Cheating is is when it turns physical or emotional. Sometimes we need an outlet. I am not saying cheat ,but I know exactly how you feel. There is nothing wrong with having "friends" because you never know when you may need them. Besides you don't know what your husband is doing either. There are reasons for being unhappy in a marriage, I mean why is he acting funny. You never know.

Answer 7

I don't think I would say it's cheating. I think it's natural to have fantasies and thats exactly what they are. I don't think it's cheating until you act on them. Guys fantasize all the time so why not women. Theres nothing wrong with what your doing especially since you are so unhappy at home. Although you might consider marriage counseling, as a way to solve what ever is going on at home. Good Luck

Answer 8

it's not healthy for your relationship at all. At this point it's not cheating but if you continue to think the way you are you will end up cheating..
When things are bad at home it's the easiest time to find yourself thinking of others or wanting something different. If you really love your husband and want to work things out now would be the time. Do it before it's too late and you've done something you'll regret!

Answer 9

Here's the ACID TEST for that type of question:
1) Would your spouse consider it cheating?
2) Would you tell your spouse?

You may not want to hear this, but it IS actually being unfaithful to your spouse to lust after other men...the longer you entertain such thoughts, the more likely you are to fulfill them, and I'm sure there will be PLENTY of willing volunteers eager to help you break your wedding vows.
Talk to your spouse if you feel you can...talk to someone whom you trust, someone who you know will tell you THE TRUTH, even if it's not always what you want to hear.
You don't want to make a bad situation worse...having a BOYFRIEND and a husband tends to do that.
Hate to sound tough, but...

Answer 10

Does your husband ever look at porn? If he does, I'd hardly feel bad about my fantasies.
Chances are, when your husband is in the shower wanking, he's not thinking about you.
However, I disagree with it. I think if people are to stay in love with eachother, they should keep their thoughts clean as well as their actions. I know...I'm idealistic, and most (especially men) would say unrealistic, but at my age of over 40, I think our sexuality in regards to our devotion to someone should mature also, not continue on like a young single horny immature kid who would cheat in a heartbeat. Is it really all that different, what we imagine doing and what we do? Essentially, for our minds, it happened, didn't it, even if not in the flesh.

Answer 11

Its normal to be attracted to more than one person. Just don't act out on your feelings unless you get a divorce. Right now you are married so if you feel things are falling apart work to try to fix them. Communication is the best thing for a marriage.