25, single, and a virgin. What gives?

Question

I know you can't answer the question, but I'd really like to hear your comments.

Not an ugly girl, not religious, got lots of friends and a good family---I live a pretty happy life. But I've been on exactly one date (a guy, high school) and I've never had sex. I've done "everything but" with guys, and 7th-grade level make out sessions with girls.

I get, well, not f-buddies, err, not sure what you'd call them. I do this semi-regularly (one girl, 5-6 guys over college) but we never go farther---I'm never pressured to, I pick 'em well, but I know the option is there.

I know I'm attracted to women, but unsure of the extent---I had no issue with hooking up with a girl, but I haven't found anyone to explore that further. Most girls run screaming from a "confused" girl like me. :)

I like guys from a distance, but once they respond I get vaguely nauseated and a little bored. I get interested again when they leave.

Anyone else been down this road? Am I totally crazy? Thanks guys!

Thanks to everyone for their answers! I'm fine with not having been in love---I'm a realist, I'm willing to wait---but I would like to gain experience a bit first.

I'm afraid I'll end up in my first relationship with someone I really click with, and I'll have massively unrealistic expectations, as well as no past experience dealing with normal relationship problems. Not to mention having to learn all the "bedroom activities" (doesn't that sound swanky!) a lot later than most people.

I'm sure whoever I find will put up with it, but I'd prefer they not have to---I'd rather come into the eventual relationship with my own life lessons in a pocket. :)

Answer 1

25 and never been in love. Don't worry- it takes time to find and meet someone that you really like- especially if you have high standards.Sounds to me like you just haven't found the person that has really swept you off of your feet- whether that person is male or female.
I would maybe try sharing this info (that you are single, not necessarily the virgin part b/c that is no ones business) with some of your close friends so that people know that you are available- and then try and maintain an active social life doing the types of things you enjoy.

Answer 2

My daughter is bi, 24, a virgin(yes I'm sure) and has a whole lot less experience than you do. Again. not an ugly girl or religious. So yes there are more out there like you.
However it sounds like you have some issues with the messages you are sending out. Could you possibly be setting the tone of distance and that is what your partners are reading? Or perhaps you are picking people like yourself with little experience and who also are not sure what comes next. Sex is not an intuitive act, no matter what people say. There is always an initial awkwardness of not knowing what to do next and if you don't get past that, its the message that is picked up.

I would try open communication with your partners and talk about this. See what messages you are giving them and talk about how to get over that. Good luck.

Answer 3

21, single, and a virgin.
Unlike you, I have religeon and is why I am remaining a virgin until I'm married. A little irony: I wanna kiss a girl! Woah! I never have, and only want to once. But anyway, I'll comment on your question. You probably just never got horny enough to do it. Or, subconsciously, you know your worth and know that there has never been anyone who was worth your body, so you didnt give it to them. Good job on that, whatever the cause. I think that you should find your way to know God though. I know this question isn't about that but I'm concerned about undefined (religeously) people. As a Christian, I have to spread the gospel and the word, and You should find Christ and the closer you come with Him, the less you'll feel crazy.
Now, I feel quite possibly that you and I should kiss. Are you white, dark hair and dark eyes? I have a weird attraction that I am somewhat uncomfortable and at odds with. I hope you like my long *** drawn out response.

Answer 4

Hey dont feel bad im 19 male and i never had a girl friend or sex the only thing i ever did with a girl is kiss and fingered her

Answer 5

sounds like you have your head on straight. thats good. but, if i were you i wouldnt proclaim to be straight or gay until you have fallen in love, and until then you will not know what you are. you have to let it come naturally to you. if you fall for a girl then that just happens, if its a guy, well then it just is, you cant decide who you favor more until your heart is locked tight around this person, so tight you cant breath, then you will know where you want to be in life and with what gender. just be patient sweetheart, it will happen for you. just give it time.
good luck, when it happens, please give us an update... would really like to hear your happily ever after story!!

Answer 6

High-five to you girl, you've made the choice not to be any ones sex toy. You'll know when the time is right, but watch out for those that would "convince" you that you are ready.

Answer 7

No you don't sound crazy. I think you need to find what your ideal relationship is for you. Meaning what you want , what you expect, and what is expected from you. It's hard to start something without knowing where it's going right. Think about
what your wants and needs are and you might find the satisfaction your looking for.

Answer 8

easily! somebody with out historic previous is plenty much less complicated to start a courting with! i do no longer have faith in youthful marriage, i won't be able to see myself having young babies and if so it does no longer be for an extremely long term and girlfriends/boyfriends at a youthful age, regularly do no longer propose that plenty!

Answer 9

there is nothing wrong with being single and a virgin? it just has not come ur time...

Answer 10

All singles should be virgins. And no one should be gay. Wait till you're married... to a guy.