I am in a confused situation. I have been with my boyfriend for 21 months, I have a 22 month son, my boyfriend is not the father of my child. My son is from a previous marriage. I met my boyfriend when my son was a month old. He is still talking to his x girlfriend and it's almost been 2 years now. He swears up and down that they are just friends. I believe him in away. But this guy is so protective of me, when we have a night out together he gets mad at me when I talk to my friends and have a good time. Once the night is over all he does is yell at me about ignoring him. We live together by the way. My boyfriend wants to get married and have kids one day. I don't know if I should ever get married again. I have had 2 failed army marriages. One right after the other, 2nd marriage I had my son, and x husband neglected my son. My boyfriend loves my son like he is his. This is why I don't know if I should stay or leave. what do you think I should do.
2007-06-05 02:53:57 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Also this guy did hit me twice, I gave him three chances if he loves my son or not. I do love my boyfriend alot, and I told him there is no excuse for what he did, I am a veteran and I don't take that kind of crap from nobody. last time happened about 5 months ago, hasn't happened since.
2007-06-05 02:56:52 · update #1
Leave!!! This isnt being protective, it is childish jealousy.
2007-06-05 02:57:31 · answer #1 · answered by eastcoastdebra 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My first marriage was like your relationship now. Honey the only thing I can tell you, is that you need to make sure that you take care of you and your child. You are not a punching bag. So regardless how many times a person says that they love you, hitting is never and option.........That's not God's plan for us anyway his plan is that we be happy and enjoy life. That we have a MAN that will do their part as a MAN. Do not second guess yourself. A women insight is always right. So if the first two didn't work. Don't just give up and settle for anything or anyone, take time to if out who you are and what you really want in your mate. Love issues are complicated but knowing who loves you in-spite of what we do is very simple. God loves you first. For his is love.
2007-06-05 10:15:00 · answer #2 · answered by cr82prs 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave him. You should never put up with any kind of abuse. You need to think about your son and what is best for him. Do you want your son to grow up and think that it is ok to hit women. That is not the way that you show someone that you love them and you don't want your son thinking that it is. I don't care if this guy loves your son or not. You deserve someone that is going to love you and wants you to be happy not get jealous when you are having fun with your friends. I can't even believe that you would stay with someone like that. Your son should be more important to you then any guy. That should be your #1 concern. It is your duty as a mother to protect him and give him the best life that you can. You both would be better off without this guy.
2007-06-05 10:12:24 · answer #3 · answered by Kelli in FL 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a little confused when you said - I don't take this crap from noone, yet you let him hit you twice? It sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do and so do you. You seem to be rebounding from one relationship to another. Before even considering any kind of long term commitment with anyone, you really need to figure out what you want out of life and what kind of role model you'd like to be to your son and choose a partner to compliment your goals. Don't settle for second best. I'm sorry, but you'd think after 2 failed marriages you would have learned by now - seriously, maybe you should consider counseling.
2007-06-05 10:09:59 · answer #4 · answered by Ms Mama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually when one is very jealous it is because they are guilty of doing something. When you go out and talk with your friends and he yells and becomes jealous WHY is he guilty of something or is he just insecure? As for the hitting you 2 times You sure take more than I would. If any man, love him or not, hit me one time he would be kicked to the curb faster than he could say he was sorry. As for loving your son well I question it especially if he is physically violent. Believe me it will only get worse over time. I use to be married to someone who was very jealous, only to find out the he was the one cheating, and he would yell at me all the time, then it progressed to physical violence, it is not worth it for any woman to have to be hit and yelled at. If he was secure in your relationship he would enjoy the fact that you are having fun with him and your friends, and he would never hit you no matter the situation. GET RID OF HIM!!!!!
2007-06-05 10:03:55 · answer #5 · answered by marianne d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he hit you, leave him now. It WILL just get worse! Believe me. Get out now while it is the easiest. You do not want a divorce, as it seems you have already had 2.
I think you should just stay single for awhile, let your son grow up a little bit and take your time finding someone. The right one is out there and it seems you might be rushing things with guys as you do not like being alone.
2007-06-05 10:00:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in a very similar situation. Two failed marriages for me and my BF still very close with his ex (drives me CRAZY!!!) He tells her every day in text messages that he is thinking of her and misses her. I feel like saying "Well go back to her then!" My BF is verbally abusive to me and my kids, mostly to my oldest. I am in the process of trying to get out of this toxic relationship, and it seems like you should do the same. Nobody deserves to be treated this way, being yelled at. You should know that there are better men out there (I know this very well), a man that will be good for YOU as well as for your son. Think of it this way, your child will grow up and leave home someday, and it will be just the two of you (you & your man). You want to be with someone who will treat you right because life is way too short! Good luck!
2007-06-05 10:02:42 · answer #7 · answered by Beach Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I definitely don't think you should marry this guy. He's possessive not protective, never confuse those two. Protective is a good thing that means he cares for you, he worries about you, why would he feel the need to protect you from your friends. Possessive is when he's angry because you want to hang out with your friends or wants to know your every move.
Also, if you ever feel the need to ask yourself if you should stay or leave, then the answer is probably to just leave.
2007-06-05 10:00:58 · answer #8 · answered by ulovett_hokie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It mostlyt depends on what you need a boyfriend for. Do you need the financial help? Are afraid to be alone? Do you think others will not like you?
There are plenty of guys out there and if you can fend for yourself then it probably would be good to do so for a while and enjoy getting to know pwople.
Many men are do as I say not as I do types. I sure think you have one of those and there will never be peace in that house.
If you do need help financialy and have no other way to get it then it is good to just keep quiet about everything and bide your time. Try to get yourself where you do not need him then kick his A... out the door.
2007-06-05 10:08:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u end your qeustion with your answer take no crap from nobody then y are u letting a guy intimidate u like he do. Bet u are a big woman in big world so y dont u make big desicions in you life and stick to it. U sound like a person with a strong personality so u will get over him all of us do if he it u twice what will make im not to do it again and u are insecure in the relationship so if u marry him u gona end up in a 3rd divorce is that what you want out of life?
2007-06-05 10:07:32 · answer #10 · answered by JANE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been with my boyfriend for two years. He is a wonderful caring man. I still chat with past boyfriends, but only to say hi and to fix them up with other women so they may become happy in other relationships. I am totally honest with him and he knows I would never cheat on him. He loves me having my friends and going out, as I love the same joys for him.
The situation you are in is not healthy. You deserve to have your own times separate from him. That way you can have the fun of missing him, and (as I do), show him how much when you get home. Please move on and get the man that you and your child deserve! Good luck
2007-06-05 10:04:33 · answer #11 · answered by mutualmuse2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋