Am I expecting too much?

Question

We are newly married. Sex life is great for the last 7 months.
Issues are that she complains me about looking at girls.
also, she thinks I lie about small things...

when I am angry when she accuses me of things..she says I
do not love her..she says if I loved her I would never be that angry and look like complete stranger.

I believe relationship patience. she is only 22 and I am 28.
may be she is grown up and I am focusing on small issues more. May Be i am expecting too much perfection from her..

what do you guys think..I believe relationship grows by focusing on positiveness and work on weakness..

please share your thoughts and let me know how much
you came from your experience when you were newly married and how you learnt to work on it and grew stronger

Answer 1

Talk to her. Your marriage is new and she is still insecure with the commitment. Also lay off on looking at other girls and lying if you do those things. If you are not doing those things, then communicate without the confrontation. Trust and security in the relationship will build over time.

Answer 2

Communication is always a plus in any relationship. You have to be able to listen just as well as express your feelings, thoughts, and concerns verbally. Patience is also a key element in a relationship. I think she is just a little young minded. Looking is healthy ( i think, your not dead..your just married...lol) as long as you dont lust for that person or your looking doesnt lead to other things. I think you should respect the fact that you looking at other women ( while with her)makes her uncomfortable and she should respect the fact that it is her that you chose to be your wife and not someone else. She should know that you are the one that she wants and no one else, and from a womans perspective, your looking a other woman while the two of you are together may make her feel a little insecure.
Now the anger issue....
Being angry with someone is a sign that you do care for that person..if someone can make you mad, or get on your nerves then that means they have some kind of effect on you and have to ability to make you feel things. She should be glad that you get angry with her. Would she rather you not care what she did or what she said, in that case,im sure you guys wouldnt be married..It is what you do once the anger has subsided that determines the rest of the day, evening, situation..how you guys handle each other through the ups and downs can and will make or break the relationship.

Answer 3

Ah, the new marriage...all the insecurities, doubts and fears. Really, if you married this person, that means you have made a vow to spend the rest of your life together, you had better look for the positive, and learn to trust this person with everything you got. Accusing each other of not loving the other is because you have this ideal of what love should be, but seriously, the real thing is achieving peace with each other and having each others back no matter what. Stop the bickering between you and turn to conquer the world, together, backing each other up. Your fight is with the world and its views on marriage, and what is between you is love and support. There is no such thing as that perfect mate, or that perfect love. To many people want what the media or the thoughts of others tell us we must have to be happy. She (and you also) must grow up and realize whats more important. Make a practice of for every negative you find, you must search for two positives. Always make sure you have more positives than negatives. That helps quite a bit.

Answer 4

i completetly agree with you focus on the positiveness instead of th bad things. The thing is no one is perfect no matter how much they try and even then the perfection will start to annoy you. There is always something wrong nothing is ever perfect and that's what some people just can't understand. You married her which should mean you love her. You must have known all of this before you married her but you still did. Small thing like that are things that she can work on if you just sit down and explain this to her. I have been with my fiance for 2 years and we went through a similar thing but we sat down and spoke about it although things didn't change straight away it did after a while and now we understand eachother more and i feel that we have grown as one. i would carry on but iv got to get back to work.

Best of luck in the future.

Answer 5

People say being in love _ married is easy. That is so not true. Having a good happy marrige thats work and commitment on both parts. You should sit down and say honey tell me everything that i do that bothers you and in turn she should let you do the same thing . Then you need to talk about and try to solve you issues. My own first year of marriage was rough. You have so many things to adjust to. I wish you and your wife enough happiness to last a life time. Good luck working though your differances

Answer 6

Men suck in the area of viewing other women they all do it but it is degreating and makes us women feel as though you'd rather be with what you are checking out rather then us who is decent enough to be sitting right there with you! It hurts and it is very damaging, the more you do it the more you make her feel insecure and when that happens think of what that can lead to. You men that look and look while we can see and notice that you are looking is just down right disrespectful and makes us wonder well if you can't control your eyes what else can't yu control? Also it sometimes makes us feel like you want to hurt us perpously and that you know we can see what you're doing so you must be doing it to encourage the feelings it gives, the insecurity and the doubt you are the one putting all the negitivity out there and bringing it on but when she leaves your stupid *** you'll still wonder why and won't have a clue! Sometimes I wonder if my husband wants me to leave him, the more I ask him to not do something the more he does it, men are like little boys without a clue as to what women want and need and all they care about is the women playing the role of their mothers. Grow up and soon please you're playing with fire and these head games you play are not fun and I am sure she didn't marry you for the games you want to play!

Answer 7

You happened to marry a big immature kid. Her body is ready but her head is not ready to be married.

My daughter is 21 and even though she is well educated, I can tell (and am very happy selfishly) that she is not ready to be any body's wife. Thank God for that!!

A big kid (girl) means she has a rosy picture of everything must be expressed in terms of love. Take out the garbage with passion because you love me!! Wash the dishes because you love me. She wants to be the princess and you have to be the prince on the horse.

People learn about the real world more when they hold a regular job. Maybe you should make her work unless you have unwittingly promised to take care of her forever and ever.

Answer 8

Marriage is about communication. Not "just" communication, but "good" communication. Sex can be great, outstanding, but if there's so much confusion else where, what's the point?

It takes time for 2 people to come together and iron out all the wrinkles so to speak. Rome wasn't built in a day, and a great marriage won't be either. Work at it together. Talk things out.
Don't shout it out, but talk it out.

Oh and by the way, I'm with your wife on the other thing. Looking is one thing, but starring and being obvious, is just disrespectful to your wife.

If you want her to treat you like a king in the bedroom, treat her like a queen outside the bedroom. And that includes respect. In return you'll benefit from it, because she'll show respect back.

Sounds like you really love your wife and She loves you too.
Just Know speaking as a woman, that I want my husband to only admire me in a sexual way. And if I don't get that, It is hurtful. Women are emotional. We think with our emotions. There's no way of getting around that. Don't let your stare be to long. We like to feel secure in our relationships, especially with our spouses.

I hope I've helped you in some way.
best wishes and good luck to you and your wife.
It'll work out. Be patient and loving, and have clear communication and it'll all work out fine.

Answer 9

You are newly married (just 7 months, did you say?). Like everything new, a new relationship also goes through teething problems. All the differences that you are facing now (they are quite minor in my opinion) will be ironed out in time. Only, both of you must be willing to make a few adjustments and compromises to make your conjugal life happier.

Answer 10

You are expecting perfection from a woman? Did you just fall off a turnip truck, or what? You had better be a little more concerned about developing yourself into something more perfect for your wife. You are a weak, imperfect and error prone man but she will tolerate you. I have also noticed through years of marriage that if a wife is bitching about something then she is happy. If she is quiet then she is thinking and that is bad; never let them think; as it is usually about how they can make your life even more of a living hell than it already is.