Can I trust my husband?

Question

I recently heard from a friend that my husband thought some girl he played poker with was "hot" and that he might have a pic of her, I asked him in a non accusing way and he said no and got very mad. I didn't understand why he got so mad and then stayed mad. So I checked his cell phone and there it was in his outbox of his txt messages...being sent to HIS email. I don't understand, the pic is of a girl playing poker...taken by a cell phone and looks like she doesn't know her pic was taken. I don't understand why he would be taking or sending a pic of a girl from poker to his email. I don't care if you think someone is hot, that is normal, but to take and save her pic, that seems bad for a married man to do....not to mention a little creepy since it doesn't look like she is aware of her pic being taken.
Now I don't THINK he is cheating, but I don't trust him 100% anymore because its not like she is an unattainable woman. What should I do? He still has no idea that I have seen the pic

What should I do? If I confront him he will only accuse me of checking up on him.

actually slitlick.....I do everything you said and more so why not stop being bitter because you never get any and actually answer my question.

Answer 1

it cld b anything
just step back and observe his behaviour
1. Is he still behavin normally w/u?
2. R u still sleepin together?
3. R u still havin sex?
4. Is sex satisfactory? Has it changed?
5. Is he still comin home as usual or....

Id also b suspiscious in ur shoes

Answer 2

The first clue should have been when you confronted him. He got upset when you approached him about it.

However, in his defense, he may think she is "hot" and he does have a picture of her and perhaps messages from her but just because he sent the pics to his e-mail, doesn't constitute you being jealous. Perhaps he had a great time that night of playing poker. Maybe he wanted to look at the picture again to relive that moment of just having fun.

I like to play poker, either cash games or tournament and I meet some interesting people. Some real ******* and some nice people. I have played against really pretty women.

However, what does the text messages say? What is the subject matter of the messages? That would explain a lot.

He might just want to be friends with her.

Answer 3

Check the cell phone statement. Some carriers list the numbers to all incoming and outgoing calls, some list them under your account online. If you are an authorized user on the account, you can call the carrier and request an itemized list of calls, if you aren't, there are ways around that, too. Have a brother, or other male friend call and say he's your husband. Make sure he has all of the information they will ask him to verify his identity - passwords on the account, zip, social, anything they might ask. Yes, it's illegal, but I'd need to know if my husband was cheating. My ex did, and the first clue was the phone calls. I do hasten to add though, be sure you want to know the answer before investigating. What you find out could change everything. Also, even if there are a hundred calls on there between the two, it still isn't proof of an affair, just of a relationship. You will have to use your instincts, and listen to his explaination if that happens. Good luck.

Answer 4

First of all i would deleate the picture and then tell him i did so. i would also confront the girl if you can find out who she is and ask her a few choice questions. I am talking from experience not out my @$$. I've had this type of thing to happen as well. My husband was going to "work" and returning at 3 or 4 in the morning. Needless to say he was not wearing a wedding ring when i confronted him and his new girlfriend. I asked him a few questions her a few questions, when home and packed my belongings and left the next morning!! I have only seen him about two times in the last 10 years. he can't even look me in the eye when he sees me. Hope this helps!!! Have courage don't be scared there is always someone else out there that is willing to be only yours.

Answer 5

Have you ever read “why men lie and women cant read maps” ?
Interesting book, i can highly recomned it. I think that your husband does something maybe what you could call a typical boys thing. I dont know. It sounds overdramatised to me. Men are different. Women are too arent they?
I think it comes down to how confident are you in this relationship? How confident are you really, honestly?
Lets say okay our husband would have been cheated in a way.
What do ou think about ourself scanning his mobile phone?
Fighting fire with fire?
How confident are you?
If you would be really totally confident you would say something like oh well he is only mucking around so what he still is my man. However if he chooses to play harder than there is always the door as you deserve a stable and trusting relationship.
You should live toghether because you both really really want to, not because youa re married.

Answer 6

Your question was should I trust my husband. It is obvious that you don't or you wouldn't need to ask the question. As for the picture of the girl playing poker tell him that you have seen it. Why have to liars in the family. Ask him why he did it. Could have been an innocent joke. Also ask yourself what does your "friend" have to gain by telling you these things. If your husband thought some other woman was hot who cares. He came home to you that night didn't he. Are you going to sit here on the computer and tell millions of people that not once have you thought another guy was hot? We are all human. Like I always say... Its not where you get your appetite it is where you go to eat. As long as his appetite is being taken care of at home he has no reason to go anywhere else,

Answer 7

Dont confront him, dont speak to him until you arent angry. You have to ask not accuse, it will make it easier if you set the tone and atmosphere for a talk and not set it up for a argument what good would that do? plus you wont get your answer. I wont be a hipocrit i wouldnt like a picture of some chic on my hubby's phone, but maybe he wanted to show it to one of the guys then didnt erase it? but me and my hubby been together so long we say it out in the open"so and so or stranger is pretty or handsome or attractive" we dont argue cause theres trust.

Answer 8

I would ask him about the pic on his cell phone. I had the same issue with my husband and let me tell you, it's better to ask and let him get mad, then to drive yourself crazy wondering about it. It's not going to be easy because he's going to get all self-righteous about you going through his cell phone, but.....he's your husband and he is doing something that is upsetting you, you deserve to know what is going on. If he wants to look at a pretty girl, that is fine, but there should be no reason to hide it. So, find the best way for you to ask him and good luck.

Answer 9

You are right not to trust him now. He is out looking, if he is not actually doing wrong, and they amount to the same thing. What you ought to do is send that picture to your own cell, and then when he is at work send it back to him with the message, "Want to talk about her?" That will get his attention. And if he gets mad, tell him not to bother to come home because his keys no longer fit in the locks!

Answer 10

I wish women can one day understand the battle faced by men when it comes to relationships. The fact that he married you does not mean that he won't admire other women out there. Women need to live with the fact that there are other women out there more gorgeous than them but men are married to their wives because they were looking for companionship not their beauty. Your man made a comment about the beauty of the lady not her human behaviour, not her caring nature, not loving her for that matter. And trust me after that comment he still made conclusion that you are the best woman he has ever married. It makes him angry yes because he is aware that whoever told you that might have told you more that you did not share with him. And honey please stay away from your husband's phone. You will one day bounce against your high school sweetheart and exchange phones and I wonder how your husband will receive that. Your man loves you period and give him that 100% again untill such time you will get him busy with another woman.

Answer 11

If you look for something bad, chances are you will find it. He already knows that you are suspicious so It won't matter if you confront him about snooping. When you lose trust in a marriage you have to do whatever you have to to get to the bottomof the issue. Confront him, get it on the table, try to come to a resolution. IF you wait then you will only upset yourself even more. He needs to know that the trust has been broken and that you need to know the circumstances.