my bf tells me that before he met me he was very religious. He is muslim and they are not allowed to have pre-marital relationships. Now he says that our different backgrounds have been on his mind and his parents are very strict. He wanted to talk to me about it but only face to face and because of distance and my exams we couldn't do that just yet.
My exams finished but i have since discovered i have cancer. he knows but i don't feel is supporting me as i would like. He cried last night, but is very abrupt and brief with my now like he has been with all his religious issues.
Is it really religion or do u think something else is going on? I want to meet him but will he break relations with me because of his religious views?... what shall i do? i feel really hurt, and right now the person i want near me the most is him. Am i fighting an extra battle i don't need right now?.. is religion going to break us up?
2007-06-04 22:59:43 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
that's just it, he doesn't want to talk now. It seems like wanting to talk in person was an excuse... i feel he is running away from me... and it hurts that he would do this
2007-06-04 23:07:23 · update #1
I dont know but good luck I hope you can pull through all this.
xxx
2007-06-04 23:04:18 · answer #1 · answered by faerie_rachie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost, I wish you the best luck in the whole world. I will pray for you.
Your boyfriend is probably finding it very difficult to cope with what you are going through. He may feel helpless and unsure in how to support you, and therefore instead of facing the situation, he runs away from it.
Nonetheless, it is important to confront him with your feelings. Have him know that you need him and his support. And that you understand it is difficult for him, but through each other you can both fight, hand in hand, the battle full force. It is not about pursuing a pre-martial relationship, but about having someone you love by your side. If you feel he may break relations due to his religious belief, then this is something he would do at one point or another, so do not let it stop you.
But please keep in mind your health is top priority. If the situation between you and your boyfriend causes too much stress, then even though painful, letting it go may be in your best interest.
With the best of regards,
Tatsu.
2007-06-05 00:41:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Muslim culture is different then the normal american or even european culture. You will find different religious people willing to marry and even date, but muslims are seldom one's that will marry outside there religions unless the person is willing to convert. Also muslim tend to even more family oriented, and if you do not meet up to dad or grandparents standards then you are out. You do see younger muslims breaking tradition but it is mainly if parents are a little more liberal with their kids.
I am a christian and I will pray for you. I know the battle of cancer can be rough. I have seen many go through it. And over ten years ago I will through a problem with anemic disorder that had no cure. I know God can heal. I will be praying for you. I know it hurts to loose those around you when you are diagnoised with something. I think the worse response i got is someone taking ten steps away from me, because they did not know I was not contagious. You will see different people reactions and really find out who your true friends are because of your cancer. I pray God will help you through this.
2007-06-04 23:25:19 · answer #3 · answered by turtle30c 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have based a relationship,which you hope to pursue further on what is written behind a veil. The Internet allows people to pretend without being identified. It sounds like he is immature and is using his religious beliefs for a scapegoat. Religion, any religion, would not make a person non sympathetic to someone they know who has problem. Religion would make them more sympathetic to their friends situation and pain. He sounds very shallow. You feel hurt but also betrayed by his attitude. You are lucky to find this out now and not later with more invested into a relationship with this person..
Keep looking the person who is right for you will show up when you least expect it, so be prepared. Keep up the fight with your illness. I pray God will have mercy and healing for you.
2007-06-04 23:14:06 · answer #4 · answered by Nancy B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do think that religion plays a very important part in anyone's life. Maybe I can correct it a bit about pre-marital relationship. Islam forbid sex OR any lead-to-sex action before marriage. It's okay to just meet, go out for lunch or something like that, provided it is in the public, not in the dark, secluded area!
You see, it's going to be tough on you IF you are not a Muslim as parents can be very adamant with what they want! So think about it. Dont love blindly, enter with your eyes open, and be informed with Muslim rules and restriction, if you want to have any r/ship with this guy. Good luck.
2007-06-04 23:08:58 · answer #5 · answered by ni2penang 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, if this man does not want to talk to you he would of not talked to you at all right? so i suggest you deal with your proplems ,while he striaghten out his. I hope you'll be just fine i wish the best of luck. But he needs some time to deal with his issues & no i dont think it's his religious issues, but i can tell you one thing he was using that as an a issues for a while ....i can also tell he said this alot to you. But he doesnt mean to hurt you in any way some muslims families are very strict towards their sons and speacially daughters, cheer up his trying his best to keep in contact with you he just needs time to cool off for a while,so that his parents wouldnt get angry..And like i said do what you can to take care of your health. :)
2007-06-05 00:07:02 · answer #6 · answered by Dude.. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there is something else going on, that he is using religion as an excuse, and you are fighting an extra battle you don't need right now. Focus on getting better from the cancer for now, I don't see any future in this relationship, sorry to say.... Sorry to hear that you're ill, may you heal well and quickly......
2007-06-04 23:15:57 · answer #7 · answered by beatlefan 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear you have cancer (I will pray for you). It seems your boyfriend is going through a very difficult time too, his faith teaches him to be only with other muslims I expect, and he feels he must honour his beliefs. On the other hand, he will be feeling bad that he has already involved you, especially now he knows you are ill. I'm not sure this is a fight you can win. To be with you he would have to betray his God, and God comes first in faith. You may have to find your strength elsewhere, in friends and family, give them a chance to support you and help you through this time. Your boyfriend may decide he wants you, given time and no pressure, but really don't depend on it. Hope you recover soon and find what you need.
2007-06-05 01:59:06 · answer #8 · answered by good tree 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In other questions you have asked, you state you think he cheats on you. This guy is a bad Muslim. I am not sure if you slept with him or not. Maybe this was what he wanted from you and because you gave it to him just like that he is having no use of you. However, he is not a representative of what all Muslims men are. I told you before many Muslim men are dieing just to find a woman to marry that they can be happy with. Don't blame religion for problems in your life.
2007-06-04 23:35:12 · answer #9 · answered by je 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you ask me then yes, you are fighting a battle you do not need. You need all your strength and energy to fight this attack on your physical system. If he can not put his religious views aside and assist you in this your time of need then it does not help you any. You need all the love and attention you can get now. Surround yourself with people who make you laugh and smile. You do not need people who stress you out. Stress for you under these circumstances are not healthy. Believe in yourself and that you can overcome this. lance Armstrong was diagnosed with cancer and given 6 months to live. He disregarded this condemnation of his being and went on to win the tour de france a record amount of times. Do not let anyone condemn you
2007-06-04 23:12:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I'm so sorry to hear about your illness and truly wish you the very best.
As for your man, it sounds like it is religion that is holding him back. Perhaps he is also scared and frightened for your health and isn't very demonstrative? (In my humble experience, most men aren't very good at dealing with emotions. I know that's a generalisation and I apologise to those men that are in touch with their feelings.) Explain to him that you feel let down, need his support right now and don't feel he is offering you anything. Be honest honey. Tell him what you have written here. Good luck with him and your future xxxxxxxxxxxxx
2007-06-04 23:07:37 · answer #11 · answered by katieplatie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋