>THE PENIS WANTS A RAISE
>
>
>I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
>reasons:
> >
> >1-------- I do physical labor.
> >
> >2.------- I work at great depths.
> >
> >3.------- I plunge head first into everything I do.
> >
> >4.------- I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
> >
> >5.--------I work in a damp environment.
> >
> >6. -------I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.
> >
> >7.------- I work in high temperatures.
> >
> >8. -------My work exposes me to diseases.
> >
> >Reply:
> >
> >Dear Penis,
> >
> >After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
> >raised,
> >the management denies your request for the following reasons:
> >
> >1. ------You do not work 8 hours straight.
> >
> >2. ------You WORK IN SHORT SPURTS AND fall asleep after EACH brief work
>
> >period.
> >
> >3. ------You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
> >
> >4. ------You do not stay in your designated area, and are often seen
> >visiting other locations.
> >
> >5. ------You do not take initiative -- you need to be pressured and
> >stimulated in order to start working.
> >
> >6. ------You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
> >
> >7. ------You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
>
> >wearing the correct protective clothing.
> >
> >8. ------You will retire LONG before you are 65.
> >
> >9. ------You are unable to work double shifts.
> >
> >10. ------You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have
>
> >completed the assigned task.
> >
> >11. ------And if that were not all, you have constantly been seen
> >entering
> >and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.
> >
> >Sincerely, The Management
> >
> >
> >Five reasons not to be a penis:
> >
> >1. ------You're bald your whole life.
> >2. ------You have a hole in your head.
> >3. ------Your neighbors are nuts.
> >4. ------The guy behind you is an asshole and...
> >5. ------Every time you get excited, you throw up and then faint
2007-06-04 22:13:41 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
very very good. loved the list of 5
2007-06-04 22:19:59 · answer #1 · answered by duck surprise 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the last 5 did it!
2007-06-05 04:40:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Excellent!
2007-06-05 04:27:29 · answer #3 · answered by wally_zebon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heard this one before but it still makes me laugh. The best joke I've heard in a long time.
2007-06-11 21:55:28 · answer #4 · answered by LISA H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whoa! raise?
according to science, it's always raised an average of 11 times a day!!!
lol!
2007-06-12 08:16:13 · answer #5 · answered by sj1328 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Lovely! The easiest way the penis can get a raise is to ask all management penises not to rise to the occasion...LMFAO!!!
2007-06-04 22:52:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was very good, 10/10
2007-06-12 07:19:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have it put on 'T'shirts and give it to all your girl friends. Then They will be able to laugh at You whilst telling You everything They know about having one.
2007-06-12 03:34:21 · answer #8 · answered by Ashleigh 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahahahahaha.truly hilarious.thanks for the laugh.i loved the second list.The management will have to give it a raise if it tells them"i quit hereafter".
2007-06-10 02:53:39 · answer #9 · answered by Schumi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That replaced into super stunning. replaced into kinda ignoring my chum's one sided serious communication and started guffawing! She have been given mad, yet I have been given out of listening to her ***** and *****. i could provide it an 8.
2016-10-06 21:47:46 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋