My coworker is going to kill himself...what do I do?

Question

I work as a pool monitor...basically i just tell people to sign into the notebook at my neighborhood pool...well I am off today but i went to hang out at the pool anyways and one of my coworkers showed me a note that my other coworker had written in the sign in notebook...it was a list of songs to be played at his funeral (in order)...and then a note saying the date of his death (june 9, 07) in obituary form and I guess his wife cheated on him...the note was so sad my eyes got tears in them....we have already informed our manager...and i feel that there is nothing else I can do...I feel so sad for him and I wish I could be there for him and do SOMETHING to help him or something I could say...but I feel so powerless because I am nothing but a 17 year old girl about to be a senior in high school, and he is this 40 year old man....is there anything at all that I could do or tell him to save him??? or should I just stay out of this....i feel horrible.

Answer 1

tell him you'll date him when your 18







bn

Answer 2

This is difficult. What a strong young woman you are. In many cases, unless the note said exactly how he would kill himself, he's really not in immediate danger. However, if he did say how he would do it, it shows a little more thought and seriousness on his part.

Breakups are never easy...

If there is any way for your older co-workers to make sure he isn't alone for the next several days, that would be good.

If there was any way for an older coworker to physically take him to someone (a counselor) to talk to...that would be a good thing

Open your phonebooks and look under Counselors or Suicide Prevention or Crisis Counselor....Call a professional to further seek help for your co-worker

SOME law enforcement will also make a house call when they know about situations. Don't call 911 though....Just call the local police and explain the situation and explain that you are trying to help and wanted to tell them what was going on....You'll need information like the co-workers address or phone number and details in the note or the note itself

If he does carry this out, it is NOT your fault. Sometimes people see this as the only way to fix their problems. You did what you could.

Answer 3

That sounds very serious. And don't think that just because you're 17 years old you are powerless. First of all, if the manager has seen all of this evidence, that person should most definitely be trying to get this man some help. You shouldn't assume that they will help him though, you need to ask them if he's getting help. If they are not planning on helping him, you can certainly make some contacts of your own to try to make sure that the man gets help. Please check out the link below, it is a website about helping people who are suicidal. You can call 1-800-suicide it is a hotline and you can talk to people who will give you advice on what you can do to help this man.

NOTE: there was a response above that said "only tell if you are sure- don't cry wolf". That is absolutely NOT true. If someone makes suicidal comments or even hints about it, you need to take them seriously, every single time. It is better to be on the safe side, and make sure someone lives to see another day, than to mistake them for not being serious, and having to attend their funeral.

Answer 4

You do not know whether the man is serious about his suicide. He might have written notes to get sympathies or “your sympathies only”.
Your boss knows about it and hopefully he will do something about it. You could check with your boss about what he has done about this matter. This is a suicide note and people should always take it seriously. If you are not satisfied with what your boss has done then call the suicide hotline. One number is 1-800-suicide. They can let you know about what to do. Please give them all the information that you have and they keep it confidential. If that is not enough then if you still have that note then make a copy and go to the police with it. He might be in need of help. You have only a few days so do not waste any time.
You should do as much as you can, without getting involved with him directly, even if he did that just to get attention of co workers. Good luck.

Answer 5

You are not nothing. This 40 year old man gave you the note because he thinks that there's something in you that you can be able to help him even in your own little ways. But because you're not even close to him, it's always best to stay out of it.

But if you still insist, try approaching & talk to him. Encourage him to verbalize & express his feelings & his thoughts of dying. At his stage his situation is a great loss to him, & normal 40's people must need to feel success & happiness in their lives. He might be lonely. You could be a daughter to him but be careful. You could tell a trusted & close friend of yours about your communication with him, & the note. The note might serve as an evidence someday if something will happen to this 40 year old man. Keep potential harmful objects away & out of sight from him. Depressed people are always prone to commit suicide. Be always prepared & ready for "emergency" situations.

You have a kind heart...

Answer 6

Some good answers already. It may well be a call for help: see suicidal thoughts and depression at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris on pages 5 & 2: copy/print relevant parts, and give/send to him. Don't allow this to affect you too much: it's his problem, not yours! Just doing the above, and as advised by others, is as much as may be reasonably expected from you. Having done the right thing, refocus on your life, and try to put it out of your mind as much as possible, but if you have problems doing this, practise one of the relaxation techniques on page 2, and the negative thought reprogramming method.

Answer 7

You told your manager and your manager can talk to him. Calling the police would be stupid. There isn't anything they can do really. I mean, yes they could get him to speak with a psychologist, but if he's smart and he really wants to commit suicide, they'll say he's not a danger to himself and let him out. Unless he's really wanting help or he's too stupid to pass the questions the psychologist/psychiatrist uses to see how suicidal he is, then he's going to off himself or fail and end up locked up whether you like it or not.

Let it go.

Answer 8

You have a kind heart. However in cases lke this you need to stay out of it. He is actually asking people to help him by the way he is going about it. Let the manager take care of it though.
He is a grown man that needds to work out his own problems. Calling attention to himself at work is of poor taste. I hope he recieves the support he needs, however do not make this your problem.

Answer 9

This is very serious and you did the right thing by informing your manager. Perhaps if the manager knows any of his immediate family members he should contact them and make them aware. They only people that could possibly save him as perhaps they could get him into some intensive therapy program before its too late.No one can talk him out of his depression and impending doom. He needs serious intervention by professional doctors and perhaps medication as well.

Answer 10

Call the police. You can remain anonymous. Even though he's plans to kill himself, murder is still murder.He won't be arrested like an average criminal, however, he will be put away in a place where he can get psychological help. He'll be given a chance to talk his problems out with someone.

Be a hero--save this man from himself.

Answer 11

Call 911 - make the report yourself

If you have access to the book and his written words, make a copy to give to the police.


The police can put a 72-hr. hold on the person who is suicidal, and hospitalize him for his own safety.

You can make adult responses to emergencies at 17. I hope you do.