or would you save money and get a house of your own first then get married? I know some people that live with their in laws after getting married. I personally don't think I would be able to handle that. Would you be able to live with your in laws?
2007-06-04 19:27:27 · 46 answers · asked by NT 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Absolutely not!
2007-06-04 19:36:57 · answer #1 · answered by In love with 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you already have doubts about living with your in laws then I would save up and buy a house first. Everyone is different and because someone can live with thier in laws doesn't mean that everyone can.
My husband and I compromised about the house vs. living with the in laws. We rented the rattiest apartment we could stand (notice stand not that there was) and saved the rest toward a house. The wedding money from the wedding gifts and all present money (b-day, x-mas etc.) and all change (amazingly added up to $100 a month) and all extra money we could went into a savings account while we hunted around for the house we wanted. It took us 5 years to find the house we wanted in our price range in the kind of neighborhood that we wanted but, it was worth all of it when we moved in!!
If you 2 together can afford an apartment then I would get one and keep your privacy and sanity and just save for your house. While living in an apartment it might not be yours but, you also don't have to pay to fix anything that breaks or mow the lawn either!!
Good luck
2007-06-04 19:53:16 · answer #2 · answered by hotelmajor 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would never do that....not a very good start to married life.
By marrying first and then thinking of a house....doesnt that kind of imply that the wedding is the important thing, not the marriage?
For a good marriage it is important to start out on your own. Even if renting. YOu need to be alone together. In laws cause enough troubles in most marriages without living with them too.
I would save for the downpayment on the house, or find a nice apartment, then start thinking of marriage!!
2007-06-04 20:46:43 · answer #3 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depends on what is in the in-laws mind. If they view that living with them shows you are dependent and a loser, then I would buy my own house.
If like asian cultures, living with them is not a sign of weakness if you have shown to be CAPABLE of living alone. Then after that, they want you to save money instead of paying a mortgage.
I'm a very tolerant person and very rarely do I see old people's houses a mess because...they have nothing to do but to do the little things lol. I just think my parents would be jealous lol.
2007-06-04 19:31:01 · answer #4 · answered by leikevy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
oh my gosh no! We go nuts when we have to stay the night with his mother when we go to visit them. Its easier to get a small apartment and live in a tiny cramped place alone with each other and save money then to live with family. The first years of marriage are so important because you are learning so much about each other and learning how to live each other, that can be so stressful and to have others there could just make it so much worse. We would love to be able to afford a bigger place but there is no way we would give up our alone time and move in with his parents. My brother moved in with his wife's family when they had money problems and he was totally stressed out from it. It all fell through and they ended up having to move into a more expensive place then the one they moved out of to save money. It took us a year to work out all the kinks and get used to our odd habits, we wouldn't have been able to do that with in laws around.
2007-06-04 22:48:20 · answer #5 · answered by Danny's Mommy 9/10/09 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a word, No.
I would not move in with the in-laws or my parents. Part of getting married is about confirming that you are an adult and living with/depending upon your spouse and not your parents anymore. Living with the in-laws basically contradicts this.
People should at least be renting on their own before considering marriage.
2007-06-05 03:09:22 · answer #6 · answered by Laura 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I couldn't live with my future in-laws only because we don't have a great relationship. Plus, I think the whole point of marriage is to LEAVE and CLEAVE. You should at least have an apartment or something that you both can live in BEFORE you get married.
2007-06-04 23:16:32 · answer #7 · answered by newsgal03 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I live with my inlaws we a have a little apartment type of thing in their basement it is really nice and rent free. I don't mind it becasue we are together, but i do dream of having a house that i can decorate and do what ever i want with. But i really isn't that bad as long as you have you privacy. Try it for a year or two and save up then if you don't like it move... It won;t hurt anyines feeling and you can say you gave it a try. Good luck
2007-06-05 02:39:27 · answer #8 · answered by Christian 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lived with my in laws for almost a year as my husband had no job, we could not afford a place of our own. They were lovely people, I am not criticising them in that way, but it was a total nightmare, his mother would come and move everything around in our room, and tidy everything (even though it was tidy she would come and re-fold all the t-shirts and underwear...yuck) every day I would come home from work and the furniture would be in different places. I felt like I could never cook or chill out in the living room as they were all there smoking like troopers. It really drove me crazy and in the end I gave my husband a choice, get a job, any job or I am out!!!! He is now my ex-husband.
2007-06-04 20:56:32 · answer #9 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I did at one time a couple of years after we got married. It was a necessity because I knew that I would have to move far away for my job and we needed a place to live for 8 months. It wasn't easy, but it was good for my relationship with them. I think that it helped that everyone knew it was not forever, so it wasn't really a problem.
2007-06-04 19:39:28 · answer #10 · answered by Expat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are people who move in with the in-laws, however my future MIL is too over possesive.
I don't even like to go over for regular visits.
One of my best friends does has lived with her in-laws for ten years and they get along fine.
Good Luck
2007-06-05 06:47:38 · answer #11 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋