My DoS is in 2008 and my husband's in 2009. He wants us both to separate. He already has a plan and job waiting for him-his family's business. I'm not so sure I want to separate. I am worried that I will miss being in the military, I love my job and am not sure I would be able to find one like it in the civilian world (AF Command Post). He is completely adamant about us both separating. What do you think?
2007-06-04 18:37:18 · 13 answers · asked by Halena 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
I can only recommend that you both get to counseling IMMEDIATELY!!!!
While I was in the Army, I saw soldiers get out because their spouse wanted them to. 90% were divorced within 2 years. Why? Because the soldier wasn't happy. The soldier got out, because of the spouse, and when things didn't work out, blamed the spouse. Selfish? Yes.
Flip side. I saw soldier NOT get out when their spouse wanted them to. Again, the divorce rate was high. Why? Because the spouse felt alienated. He/she didn't like the military, and felt the soldier was putting the military before the spouse's wishes. Selfish? Yes.
I'm sorry, but there is no right answer for this question. You want to stay in, he wants to get out. You BOTH have to decide what is best for you.
Good luck
2007-06-04 19:25:40 · answer #1 · answered by My world 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is not an easy answer. I know you love your husband and you also love your job. I think you should not make a hasty decision as this family business could blow up in his face and where would that leave you?
Did you or your spouse not hear the advise "don't do business with friends or relatives?" Well there is a lot of truth in this as I have tried to work with my brother and it was a total failure..I have another brother who owns two businesses and I would not work for him as he is a control freak.
I was in the military and you will not make the friends like you do in the military..but it is your choice..choose wisely..maybe a compromise of "ONE MORE HITCH" as your husband will be busy with his new business and you could both have the best of both world's...
2007-06-04 18:53:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well within the first location I have no idea who left who, but ya i'd go and simply take it from there. If he starts to cry, tell him lets go external for privacy. If he will get indignant, tell him both settle down now or i'm leaving and do not call me once more, if that is the way in which he is going to act. If u return to him, u have got to be one hundred% certain that he is going to be given this baby and that the man is out of your lifestyles. You also must make sure u make it clear to him that it is going to never, ever happen once more, when you consider that if it does then no do not go back to him and hurt him once more. Just right success
2016-08-11 15:11:09 · answer #3 · answered by deuell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you talking about separating from each other, or the military?
Think independently for a moment. Will this mean detriment to your marriage if you don't leave? If you know that you are not going to be able to find a job that you love doing as a civilian, then maybe you should express this to him. If he wants to separate from the military, then let him, but be sure that whatever you decide is NOT going to harm your marriage. Did you tell him how you felt?
BTW . . . August 8th is my birthday!
:o)
Good luck!
2007-06-04 18:39:46 · answer #4 · answered by claimsadjuster 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Ultimately, it is up to you to decide which you want more: to stay in the military, or Him. because it may come down to that.
while he has ZERO right to make demands like that, you do owe him at least the courtesy of agreeing to look into a compromise.
perhaps going into the reserves would be a good option for you?
2007-06-05 00:12:28 · answer #5 · answered by Mrsjvb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you looked into reserve units around the area that he wants to move to?
If you talk to your branch officer maybe they could get you a Active Reserve posting.
Maybe you two could get out of active duty, but stick with reserve or guard. There is also the CAP.
I hope that helped some.
2007-06-04 18:51:40 · answer #6 · answered by Crzypvt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to compromise... If you want it, and he doesn't, talk to him about it. Try to think about the future too, if you don't, will he resent you? If you do quit, will you resent him? What can you do that is similiar? Is there anything else out there that you have always wanted to do as a career that you couldn't while in the military??
2007-06-04 18:44:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your JOB or your HUSBAND.
This is EASY for me and I've been happily married for going on 25 years. FAMILY FIRST because in the end that's all that matters.
2007-06-04 18:40:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I really get uncomfortable when people want their very important marriage/relationship questions answered here. Minor stuff we can give some advice, but this could mean your marriage. Please ask someone more qualified that can help you seek out the deeper answers....good luck to you.
2007-06-04 18:42:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
you need to tell him how you feel...ask him what are you supposed to do? Im sure he wants you out before Lord knows what goes on in the middle east next...he wants you to be safe...But he wont really see how you feel if you dont speak up to him
2007-06-04 18:41:33 · answer #10 · answered by Do I know you? ya right LoL 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋