My brother is marrying a girl I can't stand. I don't agree with the marriage because she treats him like crap and they've only been together since November '06.
Since I'm the maid of honor, she expects me to pay for two baccalaureate parties. Both of them will have a total of 60 people.
I can't be mean to her, but I really don't want to be in their wedding! I did when she asked me, but that was before I realized how she truely was!
I don't know what to do.
2007-06-04 17:38:47 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Oh, and she seems to think we are are "like, totally best friends forever!" I don't want to hurt her feelings and I don't want things to be awkward with us in the future.
2007-06-04 17:42:06 · update #1
Do it for your brother. If she's as horrible as you think she is, he'll need to know he has your support when it falls apart.
2007-06-04 17:41:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
That really is a great question. It's too bad you already accepted. The good news is you can get out of it.
Just tell her you're sorry but you've thought about it and would like to change your mind. Give her as much notice as possible.
I know exactly how you feel. I've been in so many weddings, spent so much money, and have been totally taken advantage of. I just let it be known I don't do wedding parties. Then they don't ask anymore.
2007-06-04 17:47:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Don't pay for the parties. That's the kind of thing her friends should pay for unless you're feeling particularly generous. She's wrong to expect you to pay for them.
If she still wants you to be the maid of honor after you respectfully decline to pay, accept graciously. If she decides to give the honor to someone else, suspect that her reason for asking in the first place was just to celebrate at your expense.
I'm willing to bet that the "best friends forever" thing is just a ploy to get her way; she can tell by looking at you that you aren't a pushover.
2007-06-04 17:46:50 · answer #3 · answered by Brent L 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you generally aren't up for the financial responsiblity TELL HER. She can't take offense at that. Tell her and your brother that it's an honor to be asked but that you currently couldn't afford it, and offer to maybe be a reader, greeter, and help in any other way you can. So long as you're a part of it you don't have to be MOH.
2007-06-04 18:24:09 · answer #4 · answered by dolce 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
1] This is your brothers' wife! Suck it up and be nice. Don't cause problems - all new couples have plenty already!
2] You are only obligated to one shower and one bachelorette party.
Get your mom to help with the shower, and get the other bridesmaids to help pay for the bach. party.
2007-06-04 17:51:08 · answer #5 · answered by Nurse Susan 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you back out now, you are going to truly cause a family mess; and hurt feelings. You probably should go through with it if you don't want to try to convince your brother not to marry this harpy. A VERY difficult situation.
A permanent split in your family might even be caused. I would go through with the wedding.
2007-06-04 17:43:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Quite interesting situation. If I was you I would say right away that I wouldn't make to the wedding. Actually I am a straightforward person so I wouldn't wait for longer time.
2007-06-04 22:18:29 · answer #7 · answered by nimesh 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You are going to have to suck it up & be the bigger person & fulfill your duties as maid of honor & party hostess....you are upset, feeling pressure & regret - take a few deep breaths....you do not want to build up a resentment towards her & begin acting passive/aggressive....in the long run you will have done your brother proud & they might be there for you one day....show her you are a good person!
2007-06-04 17:45:34 · answer #8 · answered by eluvsdmode 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
This is the best time to let her know you and she are "not best friends" and to put to a stop to her using you or making you do things for her you don't want to do. Unless you put your foot down on this, she will continue to ask you to do favors for her and you will continue not knowing how to say No to her.
2007-06-04 23:25:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
If anything, do it for your brother. If he's truly happy with her, do it for him. I'm sorry about the problems. Just try to make the best of it. Have fun!
2007-06-04 18:02:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋