My boyfriend and I have been together for close to 3 years, and have lived together for 2. we just recently had some trouble when i caught him having online affairs, we worked through it and i am 100% confident he is not cheating, but for some unrenounced reason he has little to no interest in a sex life with me.... and when i question him on it he says he likes to be coaxed into it, or that he doesn't always feel like having sex that he's tired and stressed out about "work Stuff". But it makes me feel dirty, and like i'm forcing him into sex with me, because i'm always trying to initiate it, and 3/4 of the time he makes some excuse why he doesn't want it... and it usually leaves me feeling self-conscious and depressed about myself, and I'll let it go for a few months then i usually end up blowing up or breaking down, but nothing ever gets solved. I've invested hundreds of dollars in lingerie, sex toys, books, games, get away trips for us, but it's like i'm invisible. what should i do?
2007-06-04 17:20:33 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i probably won't be the only one to advise it, but it sounds like you could benefit from couples counseling. go along if he won't.
i'm not a psycologist, but it sounds like deep down, he resents you - for taking away his online passion. he is closing himself off to you - not letting you enjoy sexual pleasure, because you "took away" his sexual pleasures.
i mean, it sounds like although he may be faithful, he's not past what happened.
sorry i don't know how to SOLVE it ..cause it sounds like you're trying really hard..with everything i can think of.
2007-06-04 17:32:15 · answer #1 · answered by shyanne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-04-23 06:38:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe it or not, there are guys that get so involved in the online stuff that it becomes addictive, and real like to them. It turns them away from reality. They actually need it to become sexually stimulated. It is a very difficult thing for you, of course, but it is almost like giving up drugs to them. They become almost withdrawn. The only way you can get through this without leaving him would be to get couples counseling. Even then it may not help. I hate to tell you this, but I have seen where the guy actually can not give it up, and can not have sex without it. Please try counseling soon before you and he drift too far apart.
2007-06-04 17:40:56 · answer #3 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cannot "make him see" because a conscience is something you either have or you dont, if he needs prompting then it isnt genuine because sorry is built in and needs no prompting, its either there or it isnt. I had a simlar problem and it turned out that the problem was he wanted dirty sleazy sex and not the loving kind I wanted, so he filled his boots on the net. Check out what kind of porn he likes and see if you think you can give it to him, if not cut your losses and find someone who wants a "normal" sex life that you can handle
2007-06-04 20:18:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wish i had a woman like you.
seriously, i agree with the person who says that he's hooked on the net, i know guys who find spending hours on social networks/chat rooms and find that more self filling then sitting down with a loved one and talking. maybe if you can, try and just have some quality time together, just talk and nothing else. if he continues then you have to think about the option of leaving him, give him a choice.
good luck whatever you do
2007-06-04 18:06:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ditch him,he,s getting better thrills out of fantasy than reality,he needs to grow up,clearly you are more mature than him,find a man that will appreciate a thoughtful and loving person,that you obviously are.
2007-06-04 19:42:25 · answer #6 · answered by PATRICK M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol probably u have very low selfesteem to still be there with him, what u dont think you worthy enough to get some one else?lol
omg how desperate can a girl be..
2007-06-04 21:09:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋