I really love her - But how do I walk away?

Question

I asked this question earlier tonight but I just wanted to get some new advice...Recently we've been fighting more and more but we're always okay at the end of the night. She is my best friend, we have never been more, and I think that I want to be - but I realize it will never happen... I just am so sick of hurting and I just want to walk away from her... Tonight was another fight - any advice?

I think I did a bad job explaining it in my question - so let me rephrase (also I'll post my original question because it's well written...)

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AgxZNvwTePpVajV_g_UEilLsy6IX?qid=20070604191715AAMecFo

We are pretty much as close as you can get - even without being in a relationship... but for some reason these past 3 months have just changed and I don't understand why... Obviously I still love her and everything but its just so different, she's not the same girl I used to know... Also I'll be moving in about a month...

Answer 1

See how she reacts if you mention some other girls, not to play a game just to give her the opportunity to see if she has some unrecognized feelings for you???? Spend some less time with her, let her miss you and see what goes on from there.

Answer 2

Hi. I feel for you buddy. The reason you are fighting more and more is because your relationship has already changed from her being your best friend to something much more in your mind. Walking away from someone you love is hard enough, but to throw your BF into the mix makes it so much more difficult. Does she have a clue about the way you feel? Maybe getting it out in the open can take the edge off of all the arguing. Do iether of you have a boyfriend or girlfriend already? You have a big decision ahead of you. If it is this bad now it may only get worse. Think about it, do you want to stay friends with her? Get your feelings in check. Tell her or not itis up to you entirely. I wish you luck. I just recently made a hugh decision regarding my future with a man I cared a great deal about, so I know what you are saying. It is hard to move on with or without someone. Take care. I hope you dont loose your best friend.

Answer 3

Sometimes breaking up is the right thing to do, even if you do love the person. Why don't you just ask for a break, so the both of you could back off and reassess what it is you really want. Then at the end of the month, or two months or however long, you can get back in touch and decide if you want to stay together or if, indeed, you were better off without the other. Good luck!

Answer 4

It will hurt but you have to walk away if you are ever to have a love life that is if you truly believe it will never be more. I have a situation where someone I love is moving away (it was in the works before we met) and I know she has held off getting closer to me because she won't be here much longer. I decided that at most I will simply try and be the best friend I can be for her instead of pursuing her romantically. I have to let her go even before I had her and man I tell you she is the girl of my dreams. So go on with your life, it will hurt like hell but if it won't be anything more you have to find someone else. Who knows, maybe it will be something in the future and you can still be friends.

Answer 5

If shes your best friend than tell her how you feel about the fighting maybe you can resolve this issue. If you feel yourself having feelings for her in a way other than friendship then you have the option to tell her, or find something to occupy your time that doesn't involve her where you aren't spending much time together. If you still have the same feelings when you have time apart then maybe you need to address this issue to. I've always been told a relationship works out best if your friends b4 lovers. Good Luck

Answer 6

Friends are forever,but to love your friend and be in love with them are two different things. If you constantly fight and then make up you, yourself konw that it will not work in a relationship. You should leave your freindship just like it is as friends and set boundaries of what friends are. I think you both are taking this friendship to far and it is going to deep into becoming a relationship. talk to her and let her hnow that yor hurting because you fight and you two are not in a relationship, that you both need some space and determine what going to become of the situation. I think the more you argue the more yo will see that it may be what she thnink you two are in-- a relationship. Back awa for awhile to see if you want to contnue to be friends.

Answer 7

When you keep coming back "full circle" in an argument- it means you're skirting an "issue" that's NOT being addressed. If you love her so much, but you keep argueing about different things- WHAT's the problem that's NOT getting resolved here? Best friends can "agree to disagree"...-Maybe it's time you both started thinking "outside the box" of your relationship for awhile- instead of just banging heads together over the same things...

Answer 8

you know.
you can still love her without being in love with her.
I think you are thinking in absolutes and I would try to leave more room for you loving her as a person, but also looking for others to fulfill your need for a relationship beyond friendship. You may not be able to get the girl, but if you both continue to argue then you might loose a best friend too.
good luck and try a new perspective by handling conversations delicately so as not to cause so much tension.

Answer 9

Lay it all on the table. Tell her exactly what you are feeling and why you are feeling that way. It sounds like your friendship is already in jeopardy, so why not be completely honest? In the long run honesty is the best option. By doing this then you will never face the "what would have been" scenario that would undoubtedly be running through your head.

Answer 10

I know it's hard but deep down u realize this will never work. One can only take so much and even though u care about her so much, it can get to the point where u hate eachother. It is better to end it now and perhaps remain as friends or compromise.