My father died when I was 2 months old. My mother and I were very close in my childhood. But now I'm in my early 20's and moved out when I was 19. When I talk to her I get that feeling you get when your in the room with a complete stranger. And when she calls me I immediatly get pissed off when I see her name on the caller I.D. Is there anything wrong with me? What could the reason be for this?
2007-06-04 17:03:07 · 5 answers · asked by Jeffrey Effrey 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Are you automatically pissed because she's trying to be intrusive?
Does she think she has to know everything about you every minute of the day?
There's nothing wrong with you... I did the same thing when I first moved out... for me it was kinda like.... "Alriiiiiiiiiiiight, give me some space"... even though I loved her and such.
I think it's just an independence thing.
As far as when you talk to her and it feeling like a stranger...
is it because you guys don't have anything in common anymore except your blood type!? LoL
I can talk to my mom about anything and always have something to say, but when it comes to my dad... we were like 2 peas in a pod when I was growing up.... but now... I have the hardest time finding something to talk about with him... even though we still like the same things.
My phone calls last about 3 minutes....
I'm guessing it's just part of life... it gets better and you won't be so annoyed at your mom anymore.
2007-06-04 17:12:53 · answer #1 · answered by De C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are moving on to a different part of your life. There are six distinct parts to a person's life. You've outgrown the need for a parent, and you are into the part where you need a career, and a partner and family. Study up on this, it may help.
You may feel pulled out of place, in the normal place you are in life. You've devoted much of your life to your mom, and now you need to develop on to your own successes.
Don't fail to recognize this, and it can make life a lot easier. She is most likely clueless as to your aggravation, as she is at her own place in life.
Because you are an adult, do the adult thing. Allot a time for her, and no more. Don't indulge your emotions as you did at an earlier age, as they are targeting different women and relations, even if it is a successful relation with your boss.
Meet your mom for tea, treat her nice, don't spend the day or your wages on it, although she will feel special, and you'll have a good time without evoking memories at home which can be confusing you right now.
You are totally normal.. My son did some of this, and I recognized his need for a wife and child. Choose wisely and don't get used. Don't use up your love for your mother either, keep things pleasant. You'll eventually get there, you've already alluded to this, as you're searching for a way to resolve this.
Take her treats once in awhile, or make it something of yours to meet for tea and dessert with her. It's almost like practice for things to come, and is good etiquette.
2007-06-05 00:28:13 · answer #2 · answered by Marissa Di 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in your early 20's. It is normal. I am 36 and my husband and I are looking for a house and whenever she calls and says have you found anything I literally want to crawl through the phone and slap her.
Your mother is the one person in this world that you will always be able to take out your frustration on and still have her be in your life.
Try just calling with something funny that she might enjoy hearing. Try setting up specific days to call so you are emotionally ready to talk to her.
Good luck...
2007-06-05 00:20:59 · answer #3 · answered by New England Babe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only reason is you are grown up, it might me she treats you like a kid still, you may not like that as you feel you are grown up enough to take care of your self, she is your mother and she still sees you as a kid, this happens to all boys they dont like to be fussed and by the way wat was the reason for you to move out from home, you said that your dad died when you was 2 months, think and see how much she would have struggled to bring you up, and now as you are a grown up hulk you have left your mom alone, dont you feel ashamed of yourself, now it looks like you are dead even though you are alive, wat ever it is she is your mom and it is your turn to take care of her and show love, do you know how much of love she will be missing in her life.. wat pains she will be undergoing my god, i pity her for having such a son, i advice you to better go back to her and show her your love, just sit and think for her while all your and her past then you will realize, always try to be a good son
2007-06-05 00:18:56 · answer #4 · answered by puppy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing wrong with you, just a little delayed
need for independence from the mother.
Let her know you love her but that you need time alone for awhile, she will understand.
2007-06-05 00:27:51 · answer #5 · answered by ♨ Wisper ► 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋