one to help me. At 34, I'm separated from my hubby, no kids, no friends and no close family. She also said she feels she has no one either, since dad is 78 and has mild dementia. I feel bad for her but also for myself. What should I do? I asked hubby to leave b/c after 8 years of marriage we had not had sex ONCE. Should I go back to him? Wouldn't that just be using him and unfair to him? Our marriage wasn't just about sex (obviously), but shouldn't I try to have a fulfilling life , physically and in every other way? I'd especially like Christian believers to answer this. Thanks.
2007-06-04 16:30:40 · 14 answers · asked by tooinvolved1 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Hi, Thanks for the replies. Yes, I'm a believer. Asking him to leave may've been selfish, but I felt like I was going nuts. And the Apostle Paul said it is not good to deny one another. Why we didn't have sex? Hubby couldn't. Why couldn't he? Dunno? We tried counseling AND medical doctors. Just before he left, I found he had a porn addiction. Was it the cause of our problems - or his way of dealing with the problem. IDK.
Did I miss any questions?
2007-06-04 16:48:35 · update #1
Yes, you're right - to the poster who said I need to look to God and not my circumstances.
2007-06-04 16:49:22 · update #2
well since i'm not a christian i can''t answer this........ that's why your alone.......
2007-06-04 16:34:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 7⤋
As a Christian counselor, I would strongly urge you to get grounded in 1) the Word of God 2) a Bible believeing church and 3) a solid Christian men's group.
You are not alone. Help is there, if you reach out to the three items above with an honest heart.
2007-06-04 23:35:08 · answer #2 · answered by Dr. Karen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find the joy & fulfillment needed for your marriage in Christ. Love your husband with Christ's love; it'll turn him around and bring him to the same mindset. Marriage was never meant to exist without God at the center. No offense, but if your husband was happy in the marriage, it was selfish of you to ask him to leave.
As for your mother, you can still have a great relationship with her. She's going to have to find her happiness in the same place as you - her relationship with Christ. Help her get involved with a support group for people dealing with the losses of dementia and Alsheimer's. Take her out to do the shopping & such until she developes her own circle of friends.
PS, visit Dad often. It may be hard for you, but the rare moments of recognition are more than worth it.
2007-06-04 23:43:01 · answer #3 · answered by azar_and_bath 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Goodness, you and your mom have one another !!! As for friends, how about at work or at church? I am divorced with no children, and both of my parents are dead. But I do have my brothers and their families and I do have some friends.
Do not go back to your husband. That was not a fulfilling marriage, and you should not have to wear that yoke again. You are a young woman; think about how you would like to see your life unfold . But don't just wait for that dream to happen... work toward it and commit to it. Good luck !!!
2007-06-04 23:38:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can meet other people and have friends to count on if you need them. Join some type of a group at the community center (art/crafts, music, etc.) to meet new friends. You don't need to go back to your previous marriage, obviously it wasn't working the first time around. Or order one of those life alert buttons so if you fall and can't get up, they will send help.
2007-06-04 23:35:03 · answer #5 · answered by KS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you a Christian? Because if you are, my answer would be totally different than someone who doesn't know Him. I know from experience what it's like to be in the middle of a crisis. What I did was keep going to church, studying the bible, praying and trusting Jesus. He brought me through everything. My life was a shambles. It didn't happen overnight, but He restored my life and everything is in perfect order.
Please turn to Jesus Christ and ask Him to guide your path. Get up every day and ask this, and then just live your life. He will never, ever let you fall.
2007-06-04 23:35:17 · answer #6 · answered by Esther 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Father, I ask you to Lead and Guide Tooinvolved 1 in all of these Needs.
I ask you to give her Peace and Wisdom and Knowledge and Understanding so that she can follow Your Guidance and Know what to do.
Please send Workers across her and her husbands path, Knowledgeable Workers that can teach Your Ways in the Lord Jesus Christ, Risen from the Dead.
Thank You Father, in the Name of Jesus.
2007-06-04 23:59:03 · answer #7 · answered by maguyver727 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yours is a odd situation. Did you have sex up to 8 years ago or have you been married for 8 years and never had sex?
Anyway, Ann Landers says "Would you be better offf with him or better off without him"?
What do you think? Is sex worth more than the security he can give? Pops
2007-06-04 23:35:30 · answer #8 · answered by Pops 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Did you love your husband? Did he love you? Why wouldn't you try to have that fulfilled life with your husband? Did you try any counceling at all? If that is the only reason you left your husband and you loved him and he you then I think you should try to work things out with him and get to ghe bottom of why there was no sex. Get counceling.
2007-06-04 23:36:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We are all alone in the end, and we will all fade away. It is just a question of when. Don't worry, live. An old adage that I like:
Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair and rocking back and forth: you can do it all day, but it's not going to get you anywhere.
2007-06-04 23:38:18 · answer #10 · answered by Shinkirou Hasukage 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You don't say why you have no sex. Perhaps a good christian counselor could help the both of you work through this.
2007-06-04 23:36:00 · answer #11 · answered by politicallyincorrect 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋