What's going to happen when I tell my parents no?

Question

I'm 19 years old, almost 20 and my parents still tell me what to do. Not small stuff like take out the garbage tonight or mow the lawn sometime today like come in my room and tell me to go do the dishes now. -almost like a boss would tell their employee to stop whatever they are doing and do this instead and it bothers the hell out of me! it's not them asking or even telling me to do something, it's the do it now! thing that irritates me.
I'm ready to move out; I would prefer to move out. I even had the apartment picked out and a room mate and my mom started crying and my dad asked me to please stay. So I agreed.
So the next time I'm doing something and they tell me to go wash the dishes now or feed the dogs now! and I tell them I'll get to them when I get finished and refuse to stop whatever I'm doing, even if it's something stupid like watching something on TV, what do you all think is going to happen?

Answer 1

I'm not sure I have the answer that you want to here. Are you sure you're doing your part? If your mom has to come and tell you to do the dishes then they're obviously just sitting there. I'd think that at almost 20 years old you'd respect the fact that it's your parents home and should help them out a little bit.

Refusing to stop watching tv seems a little immature to me.

I'd suggest getting that apartment and move out.

Answer 2

Well, if I were you and you want to be treated more like an adult in a home of other adults, you need to not bring this to a drama (Like Teens Do) Instead, try to communicate verbally your distaste for their immediate need of gratification in chores. If they need it done so badly, they know where the soap is. I mean if you are paying some rent (Like You Should Be AT 20 Even If you Live With parentals) then you have rights. As for not leaving cause mom cries, Mom is gonna cry no matter how old you are when you go. I did when all my six kids cut me loose. It is my right to cry as it is hers. It does not mean that you can not start you independent life living elsewhere.. She will cry for about 3 days, then realize that it is peaceful and quite and she does not have to cook for you, clean for you or hear the phone ring off the hook with all your friends. She will say gee, this is not as bad as I thought. So, the crying game is not a reason to not leave you house dude.
Sincerely,
A mom
Tracylyn S

Answer 3

Mainly if your parents are fairly cool there is no reason to move out - but just this type of thing is why almost all 20 year olds do move out - if its driving you crazy listen to your heart and respond by making plans - if not: learn to live with it and make peace with all the benefits of living at home - or even better - push back - say hey - how 'bout some consideration - let me know in advance things you want me to do - if it ticks them off maybe they will support you moving out.

Discomfort in our relationships usually is an indicator that things need to change in someway.

Answer 4

It sounds like your parents really like having you help out around the house. Since you are almost 20 and are living there rent-free, you are obligated to help them out while you stay there. However, it is normal that you are tiring of this routine and want to move out. It's natural for your parents to be upset about this but it's really what needs to happen. Otherwise you're going to strain your relationship with them and go crazy in the meantime. Continue to help your parents, as you have clearly been doing, but finalize plans to move into your own apartment soon. Good luck!

Answer 5

Well, the only way to get them to stop telling you what to do is to move out. You even let them tell you to not move out.

You have money and a job? Then get your own place and let yourself become an adult. Don't let your parents keep you as a child. You are almost 20 and more then capable of making your own decision about where to live. Don't let them manipulate you into staying there.

Answer 6

Be an adult and move out. It doesn't really matter if they get upset. You are an adult, they will come to accept it sooner or later, but you can't be forced to stay just so your mother won't cry. Pack up your stuff and leave. Oh, and you are an adult.... they can't tell you what to do. If you decide to stay, either tell them to do their own dishes, or you will do it when you are ready.

Answer 7

if you want to move out, move out..Sooner or later they're going to have to deal with the fact you are getting older and starting your own life. I think your at the stage anyways where your kinda sick of living with them and ready to try something new. I say move out if you want to andcan afford it. It may also help them realize that you are growing up and they will start to treat you with more respect. Hope everything works out hun!
and whats with all you people saying shes 20 move out, you should have moved out already! c'mon shes not 20 yet shes 19. whats with you guys acting like shes 40 living with her parents . a lot of you are probably 30 or 40 yourself and still living with them.

Answer 8

They're just going to keep annoying you. After all it doesn't really matter how old you are you're still living under their roof they're going to parent you. You need to move out. If you want to be treated like an adult than act like one and don't break down every time your parents act sad and want you to stay. Mature adults do what's best for them and stop trying to please their parents in ever step in life. Trust me when you're moved out and established on your own without any help from them you're relationship will be great. But until then it's really all in their court

Answer 9

i think at almost twenty you need to move out and have your own life. parents tend to get upset about losing their child, but you must still live your own life, obviously your being there irritates them for them to say do it now like you are a child. best thing you can do for both of you is to be an adult and leave on good terms before worse fights occur

Answer 10

Sit down and talk to them about it. Just refusing will get them to treat you more like a child. When they ask you to do something, you need to tell them when you WILL do it and actually DO it at that time.
My ex-husband suffers from terrible guilt because his grandmother (in her 90s at the time) asked him to take out the trash and he kept saying I'll get to it. Finally she did it herself and broke her hip which started a downward spiral leading to her death.
I'm not saying your parents are elderly or in any danger, I'm just pointing out how important it is that your parents know they can count on you to do what is needed.