My girlfriend is getting fat?

Question

Im going to get the negative comments but I need to put this forward, as I don't know anyone in real life to ask in fear of them telling her.

At the beggining she was slim and ate like a normal person, after some years she began eating more sweets and cakes and drinking wine every night. She has gained like 30lbs (5'4 - 125-130 was her weight at 19, shes now about 145-150 at 23). Yeah she is not obese but constantly gaining, her butt has balooned and everywhere is softer and chunkier.

I am not worried about her state now, she is healthy but this is a long term relationship and I dont see it ending anytime soon. She will constantly gain fat and im worried she will ruin herself with that. I dont want her to become obese or ruin her health, and to be honest I dont find it attractive. I'm not shallow, but you dont like seeing your partner change like this, who does?

What do I tell her? I feel anything I say is detrimental to our relationship, she is quite sensitive. What would you do?

Answer 1

Maybe you can work out with her so that it'll hint she needs to exercise without hurting her feelings.

Answer 2

Wow, you got some real good answers to your question. You are partly to blame for this. It took 4 years for her to gain all these weight, and 30 lbs after, you sound concerned as if you woke up to find her this big.Baah!... But there is still hope, no matter how sensitive she could be, if you tell her (proper timing is crucial here) in a nice loving way why it concerns you, then she will understand it. There is some signs that she has issues(probably not obvious to her) that triggers all this eating binge. Even if you probably stayed the same weight from when you met, go on outdoor activities together. Make her feel beautiful. Better still, buy her some sexy lingeries a size smaller ( innocently insist that's the size you remember she wears) it may inspire her to work herself to that size. But then again, just between you and I, this may be a long term relationship, but can you truly say you fulfill her sexually? I hope that you are not that sensitive, I ask this as some women compensate their sexual unfulfillment by eating more.
Thank you that there are men like you who can tell the community that he is there for the long term :-)

Answer 3

First off, you're not shallow. You actually seem to care about her.

Telling anything might hurt her A LOT. Girls are sensitive about this issue in a similar way as guys are sensitive about their sexual performance. Especially if you try to put "weight" and "relationship" in one sentence. She'll cry for many days if you do it. Even one commnet from my bf that I seem to be eating too much and am I sure I need to go for seconds made me upset at him one day.

If you really care - try to get an active hobby that you'll both enjoy. Biking? Swimming? Dancing?

Also, take a look at what you guys eat. Are you both eating healthy? Look up a healthy recipe and cook something for the both of you. I guaratnee it will make her day, week or maybe even month. But yeah, diets don't work unless you make new habits of eating healthier.

Asking her to do stuff that doesn't include you like go to a gym or go on a diet will sound very unfriendly.

Also, observe and analyse her behaviour. Do you think she's depressed? People can gradually gain weight if they suffer from depression. Trust me, it's not them being weak and reaching for food. You actually feel it in your stomach as if you're hungry all the time. If that's the case she might need treatment, then the problem will go away by itself.

Anyway, this is what I would like to hear/ get done by my significant other if he only knew to try to help me.

Answer 4

I understand you. Ok here's what you can do

First be nice to her, ask her what's wrong.. there must be a reason why she's been eating so much more lately... Help her if she has any issues

tell her honey you look great and you started putting some weight I don't want you to ruin your body like this

three why does she drink wine everyday ????!!! That's a red flag man. She definitely is stressed out or unhappy about something.. hopefully she isn't alcoholic because that's even more serious

and also you can encourage her to exercise, go jogging with her every now and then

Answer 5

tell her that u dont want to end ur relationship, but just tell her that she would definatly look better if she lost a few pounds. dont over react because this will probably hurt her feelings, but its the only way to let her know. tell her that she means everything to u and u just dont want her to not be able to control her body. once a girl gets fat, its hell trying to get back to thin. i dont like fat people either, but it wouldnt effect my relationship. if i really loved someone, then weight wouldnt matter to me. if their health becomes a little dangerous, then thats when i would talk to them. no one is a barbie. weight isnt a big deal, but if u dont like her getting fatter, then just calmly let her know. just whatever u do - dont make it sound like it is a big deal. its very offensive. u have no idea what every girl goes through to try to attract a guy. lets just say that the guys have it the easier way. all u need is a good personality. we need to be slim, good personality, nice sized breasts, nice legs, nice butt, etc. its really hard!! keep in mind that the most likely reason that she is gaining is because she is feeling more comfortable around u. if thats not the case then there is something bothering her, but its probably just getting more comfortable and being able to be herself around you. if this really bothers u about ur girl, then just have a small chat with her about it and maybe even suggest that u both go on a diet together. good luck and i hope she takes it well. :)

Answer 6

~smiles~ I understand. You are going to get a lot of negative feedback, but realistically, we're human, and appearance generally does matter at least a little. Why don't you just suggest bonding time. Tell her that you've recently gotten really into working out at the gym and how you'd like if she would come with you to keep you company. Tell her that although you could go with all of your guy friends, that you'd rather go with her because she's a lot nicer to look at than your sweaty guy friends. =) Or suggest you two go to a healthy restaurant one day on a date. Order something for that will taste really good, but it's healthy and not fattening. Or when you have movie nights, instead of getting popcorn, create a festive looking veggie dish with carrots, celery, low-fat dressing, etc. ORRRR you could go for this approach: Tell her you're worried about your own weight and that you're thinking of going for a run everyday and eating right, and put on that sad, pathetic voice and etc. If she cares about you a lot, she may say she could join you to make your process easier. Everyone wins. =) Hope this helps!

Answer 7

I really think this is a tough one, no woman likes to be told she is fat and once you put the idea in her head she will change and it will start to haunt her. Pick out someone who is slightly larger than your partner, say that poor girl has spoiled her figure, she would look really good your size but them few extra pounds made all the difference and spoiled her figure. This will complement your partner but allso make her aware of your likes and dislikes without insulting her. I personally cant see a problem with her weight but your in your relationship not me. Just hope you both remain happy and have a long and healthy life together. x

Answer 8

First, reassure her that you love her and that you want to be with her for the long term.
Then, be honest with her, but take the time to put it delicately.
Talk more about being healthy than about fat. In fact do not utter the word fat at all. Not even once.
If she gives you any grief about bringing it up, tell her it is because you care so much about the relationship that you feel you can be so honest with her about how your feeling.
Besides, it's not all about her. Your feelings and concerns matter as well. If you don't commincate, then you may end up resenting her for something you chose not to say.

Relationships take work...and sometimes that work involves making sure you stay attractive for your partner.

Answer 9

why don't you take her swimming, hiking and stuff like that and don't eat out very often go fishing,or biking but, of course if you truly love her it wouldn't matter to you what she looks like or weighs if you go out and eat go get some chinese it shouldn't be that fattening, or go on a picnic and you pack the lunch and make it healthy i am sure that she is noticing this change in her, no woman goes throughout life without noticing weight gain so she is well aware i am sure she probably doesn't think that you have a problem with it though the reason she hasn't done anything about it yet.

Answer 10

You can do stuff with her to help her loose weight without her knowing, like walking in the park, swimming, bike riding, and so on. Even skating or bowling. Don't go out to eat so much and invite her for dinner and make healthier foods. If she lives with you then buy healthy foods and if she drinks alot of soda, get caffeine free. I have lost 25lbs over 3 months just from drinking caffeine free drinks and walking daily. I got up to 180lbs after my baby and I am back to 140lbs after 2 years but only been walking and swimming and stuff like that for 3 months. I am 21 years and 5'8", hope this helps. My husband also has been riding bikes with me for a week now in the mornings before he goes to work, It helps that he is involved. Makes it more fun.

Answer 11

There might be a reason as to why she is over eating. Maybe something is bothering her, more stressed out, or unhappy.

Why not start walking after dinner together, go for a hike, do some exercises that requires two people. Tell her that it is you yourself that needs to tone up, or that you are trying to get healthy and you would like her support. This way you are not telling her that she needs to lose weight or get healthy herself.